[network] @LELRIC; audio; night 330 [open to those left behind]

[armoured]

[The first sound to come through is wind in the background, and then Al's voice sounding guilty.]

I, uh-- I may have made a mistake.

[A big one.]

I was looking for the people that went missing, and I kind of lost track of time. It's so stupid, I've never done that before, I guess I've just been here so long that I thought I would never get locked out now. Shows how much I know, huh?

[He tries for a little laugh there, but it sounds a bit choked.]

I'm-- I'm really sorry. I know I promised to be there for some people, but I guess that's another broken promise. It doesn't mean that I don't think you can be strong, or make it, you really can. Whatever happens, I'll be proud of you all, even if I don't see you again.

Comments

@godsend, audio

[termineur]

[ He's barely listening to anything but the wind in the background, although he vaguely gathers that Al is trying to reassure people. Every part of him feels like it's on fire, and his voice makes it clear that he's terrified. ]

What? What, you went out looking for them? Why-- they're not just going to be deposited in the snow. What the hell is wrong with you?!

[armoured]

H-Hey...

[His voice is soft in comparison, trying to be comforting.]

Yelling at me isn't gonna change anything, you know? I just thought maybe I might a clue, but I didn't.

[termineur]

No.

[ Just...no. If he was there, he could've stopped Al in time, could've turned him back to a house. But there's nothing to do now- he can't even leave the building and go join his friend. He can't find Alfie and Royce. He can't do anything here. ]

You didn't, and now you're dying for nothing.

Damn it!

[ There's the sound of a crash- there are tables in this bloody garage and he is flipping them. ]

[armoured]

[There's nothing he can say to that.

His death is pointless, he didn't find anything, and he can't even offer the cold comfort of perhaps he'll return because he doesn't want that. He can't hope for revival, not when it might be evil.]

Please.

[It's smaller, sadder.]

You're going to be okay without me, I promise.

[termineur]

[ The sadness and meekness of that 'please' is all that keeps him from throwing tables around further. He pauses, but his anger just has nowhere to go now. It comes out in an agonized sound, somewhere between a yell and a scream.

When it dies out, he has to catch his breath for a few seconds before he continues. When he speaks again, all the rage has gone out of him. He sounds tired and scared. ]

You don't- you don't understand. You've never understood, what I'm like when you're gone.

[ That was part of the specialness of Al, honestly. But it's not good now. ]

This wasn't even an anomaly. We could've stopped this...

[armoured]

[His heart is aching. Not because he's going to die, but because of how lost Gabriel sounds.]

I don't make you who you are, you have to try and remember that.

[He can't stand the idea that his death might truly break someone else.]

You're strong enough to keep doing this on your own. I know that you're scared and you're unsure and you don't trust yourself, but that's what's standing in your way, nothing else. You can do it if you keep fighting for it, I believe in you.

[termineur]

[ When the night has passed and he's alone, he'll replay this and perhaps think it over some more. But right now, the words are just barely getting through, and the meaning is faded. He can't honestly say he believes in himself, not right now. ]

You better come back. I know you don't want to, but- [ Sniffle. ] I talked to the collective and if they went to bringing you back, I think they'd be fine with it. They want to help us.

So don't- don't just give up.

[armoured]

I can't-- I can't promise that.

[Nor can he agree to want it, it's just anathema to his very being. His whole life has been coloured by knowing that bringing people back from the dead is wrong, and dealing with the price of doing so.]

But I can promise that I won't give up, not ever. Not even if I'm gone, you just remember that I'll be in your head to kick your butt if you slip.

@user; voice

[cosmicwords]

...Are you certain there's no shelter nearby?

[armoured]

Yeah. It's past lockdown already and I've seen a lot of videos of people making shelters and-- well, it never works.

[There's something supernatural about the night here, to have a one hundred percent kill rate, even when people do everything right.]

@hsiaoke; voice

[heavensreader]

You great big fool.

[There's something appalling in how... not angry, not even panicked Kesara sounds. In fact, she sounds drearily disappointed.]

What will I tell Steph when we have her back?

@zd; audio

[swatsflies]

Frickin' hell. Al.

[ Zack and Kunsel were both missing and now this??? ]

[cosmicwords]

I see...

[chaos lets a somber moment pass.]

I'll cheer people on while you're gone, okay?

[armoured]

Thanks.

[He sounds like he really means it.]

There's a lot of people here that need cheering on.

[armoured]

...I'm so sorry, Zell.

[His voice wobbles a bit, it's always the hardest with people he cares about.]

I really didn't mean for this to happen.

[armoured]

[He swallows hard, the noise audible even over the wind.]

Tell her-- tell her that I'm sorry that I can't be there, and remind her that she has the strength to carry on without me. She just needs to trust in herself.

omg how did I even miss this tag?

[termineur]

[ The promise he does get is all Gabriel can ask for, even in his current state of unreasonableness. And it's a good one- 'not giving up' is something he can believe in. But he can't trust an imaginary friend to keep him on the right path- he needs Al to come back.

He just breathes for a few seconds, too choked up to say anything. ]

I'm gonna stay with you, till you go. It's the only thing I can do.

<3

[armoured]

...I don't want you to have to see or hear that, it's not how I want to be remembered.

[He's seen people die, both here and back home, and he knows that those moments always end up as the primary memories even if they shouldn't. He'll always think of that blackened mistake when he thinks of his mother now, which is the biggest insult to Trisha's memory that could exist.]

[termineur]

Come on, Al. Let me feeling like I'm helping a little?

[ He's quiet and pleading- all of the fury had gone out of him in that previous tantrum. He's not mad at Al, and he knows it. He's mad at this place. ]

My imagination's gonna fill in the blanks, anyway. I'll do my best to not- to not let my memory lie to me.

[armoured]

If-- if you're sure that's what you want.

[If it really will help rather than hinder, then he won't stop Gabriel.]

I'm going to try and keep walking about for as long as I can, it might keep me warmer.

[termineur]

It's what I want.

[ He's certain. He's not going to leave Al alone- maybe it's progress, but he'd never forgive himself for doing that. ]

Yeah. I don't think I could do the shelter thing, either. At least this way it'll feel like you're going somewhere.

[ It'll also indicate when Al's condition is deteriorating significantly, but Gabriel doesn't say that part. ]

[heavensreader]

Horse-shit. [Kesara's voice is small and stinging, like a long needle.] She already knows that! She'll still be angry with you!

[swatsflies]

[ It's the wobbling that gets to him. It's knowing he's out in the cold with no else there...

Breathing out a heavy sigh as he rubs his eyes. ]

It's. [ He still can't bring himself to say it's okay. It's the opposite of okay. ]

You were just trying to find a clue.

[armoured]

Did you ever wonder why it's so impossible for people to survive out at night?

[Even with the temperature dropping so much, there should at least be some people who make it through because of thick clothes or experience or shelters.]

[armoured]

I can't help that, and maybe anger is a good thing for her to feel. I'd rather she was mad at me than crying.