[network] @PetertheGreat; Video, Day 294 [open] CW: Death talk

[zunesareawesome]

[Peter hasn't aged a day, but he looks incredibly scruffy, shaggy hair complete with enormous beard, the result of either laziness or a need for warmth.]

Does anyone have videos of any good deaths lately? I need a laugh.

Comments

@hotstud_xxx; text

[rubikscomplex]

[Even in his old age, House can't abide this kind of bullshit.]

you're a celestial
you choose to see people however you want
don't pull this crap
if you're gonna be an asshole
own it
don't hide behind "species"

[zunesareawesome]

Okay, fine.

I can’t help but see mortals this way because I’m a Celestial and also, I’ve lived long enough to where you guys are like mayflies to me. Also because I’m a Celestial.

How about that?

[rubikscomplex]

[House switches very briefly to audio to make a sad trombone sound.]

try again, planet baby
what you are has no bearing on how you see us
you’ve lived a long time
might contribute to how you see things
that doesn’t mean it’s the reason you’re acting like an asshole
there’s a simpler explanation:
you, personally, are an asshole

[zunesareawesome]

Okay two things.

One--completely unnecessary sad trombone sound.

Two--I agree with you that I'm an asshole, but that's also compounded by the fact I'm a Celestial and have lived long enough to see how ridiculously insignificant mortals are.

So.

[rubikscomplex]

you know there are people who can live 100,000 years and contribute absolutely nothing

evariste galois; died age 20
basically invented group theory
you can thank him for any piece of earth tech you've ever owned that contains engineered materials

william kingdong clifford; died age 33
developed the building blocks for einstein's theory of relativity
you can thank him for giving the next guy the tools he needed to actually figure out how the hell the entire universe works

ignaz semmelweis; died age 47
came up with the revolutionary idea that doctors should wash their hands
and everyone else should, too
basically discovered germs were a thing
you can thank him for not dying as a kid due to contamination in a hospital

ludwig boltzmann; died age 62
he's the guy who explained, in mathematical and chemical terms
why the hell anything in the world works
you can thank him for providing the basis for all of quantum mechanics

you; lived however many years
achievements here: zilch, nada, and nothing

[zunesareawesome]

That is a really, proverbially-long-winded way of saying I suck, dude.

The one thing I'm really seeing in all of this, is that they're human, and they're all dead.

[rubikscomplex]

all human
all dead
still more important than your deadbeat "celestial" ass
but i'm sure mommy would be so proud to see you now

[zunesareawesome]

[—yeah, more than a thousand years later and House can still drive him into a fury.]

And what exactly have you done? We’re all still stuck here in Norfinbury. Guess all your experiments were for nothin’.

You know what? She would. She would be totally proud of me. [Not really, no, but he wasn’t going to admit that.]

[rubikscomplex]

might've stalled out
but i got us farther than you ever did
also got pretty far with your mom
she was good

[zunesareawesome]

[...there's possibly the sound of Peter punching something or ripping something in half.]

Oh hell no. Do you seriously want me to come find you and gut you or something?

[rubikscomplex]

now, petey
don't you worry
mommy and i had a lot of fun
but you'll always be her speshul boy
i'll just be her speshul man
and talk about coming
that girl knows how to rock it with a guy's rocket
if you know what i mean

[zunesareawesome]

[Yeah. That's the noise again.]

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear any of that over the sound of future-me hitting future-you so hard it transcends time and space...?

[rubikscomplex]

[Hundreds of years and still a mama's boy. How predictable.]

pretty sure that last orgasm transcended something
ttyl, pal
we'll find a ball
play a little catch
i'll be the best daddy you never wanted
so long as i'm getting a piece of that hot mama's ass

[zunesareawesome]

I’M GONNA FIND YOU, HOUSE. I’M GONNA FIND YOU, AND DO A KRUTACKIN’ RE-ENACTMENT OF MY FAVORITE MEMORY—HOUSE’S STABBY MURDER TIMES. My old pair of scissors misses you, man, and this time, I’m gonna make it last. I’m gonna enjoy every last second of watching you die. Then I’m gonna play it over and over again for funsies.

[rubikscomplex]

k

[You and your impotent rage are getting hung up on now, Peter.]