[log] chips but no salsa [closed]

[mrcreamsicles]

Characters: Davesprite, Karkat, the Cat, Beckett, Angel, Rhys (the dickcheese one), and Enoch
Location: Building 309
Date: Day 285
Summary: A whole bunch of people meet up, tablet chips get handed off, and maybe pancakes happen.
Warnings: Nothing planned.

309: A house, green on the Geiger counter, that probably should have been redecorated ages ago. Everything looks to be from the 60s or 70s. There was carpeting here, but it's gone now, revealing a locked trapdoor in the bedroom. There's a bedroom, living room, kitchen, and bathroom. "зеленый" is written on the inside of the door. A ration box from the convenience store has been attached to the inside of one of the kitchen cabinets with wood glue. On the kitchen wall beneath it, a message has been painted in black: "i left a ration box here for storing food. if you want to leave rations for the people exploring it should hopefully protect them from radiation. any other supplies can go in the cupboard outside the box. contact davesprite (@featherydouche) if some fucker steals it".

Comments

[mrcreamsicles]

I'd be able to fly even without the bird half so long as I still became a sprite, but like this? Norfinbury's made me miss the air more than anything. You know what a pain in the ass it is to flap for all you're worth and not get anything more than a little jump in the air? Birds weren't meant to be landlocked unless they're ostriches or penguins or something.

[He flutters his wings a little, not much when they're indoors like this.]

But I'm a crow. Full on flappy assholes that used to flutter around my roof all the time. It's tragic, Enoch.

[His tone isn't sad. Mostly he's just frustrated.]

[warriorscribe]

I can imagine. I've-...I can't say I've had my movement impaired such but it's frustrating to- well, not be able to do as you will.

[But now that he's talking about the natural state of things... A human can be any of a broad range of colors but bright orange isn't one of them. Birds might be, but not crows.]

Ah- if you'll indulge my curiosity, is it in the nature of sprites to be so vividly-colored? I thought for a moment your coloration might have come from your bird half but if it was a crow...

[mrcreamsicles]

Yeah, it's a sprite thing. Nannasprite was blue, Jaspersprite was pink, Jadesprite was green. Go figure why those colors, but it's just how it's always been. Nothing to do with the components either, I don't think; mine was orange when it was the crow and—and this other thing before I time traveled back and put myself in.

[And he was always a blond before Sburb gave him the full body dye job. Enoch probably saw that when he was back in the cells, stuck in a human body thanks to his preceding death loss.]

So what are the nanomachines holding you back from doing?

[warriorscribe]

Wh- [But Davesprite managed to ask him a question before he could ask about the "other thing". Might be for the best.]

Ah...one moment. [He pulls his tablet out of his makeshift sash and brings up his medical records, requested back when Eve wasn't sick of them requesting them. He shows Davesprite the anomalies segment:

Suspended aging (neutralized)
Manipulation of divine energy (neutralized)
Limited gravity manipulation (neutralized)
Disproportionate strength and stamina (neutralized)
Facial hair follicles blocked from growth, external cause

Yeah the only "power" he got to keep was an inability to grow a beard.]

I could easily jump three times my height before coming here. It would be useful in escaping anomalies, certainly.

[mrcreamsicles]

[He peers over the list once it's offered, but one thing in particular stands out to him.]

You mean keeping smooth-faced is a literal power for you?

[Not that he has any stubble going, but he's part bird. It's weird. Don't worry about it.]

I used to be able to phase through walls. I don't even need to say how useful that would be here.

[warriorscribe]

You'd never have to fear for finding shelter again. Certainly more useful than anything I could do.

[He was going to just try shrugging off that comment on his lack of facial hair because it's not even really his power but...well, he can't help but actually comment on it anyway, raising a hand to his face.]

I thought I simply couldn't grow a beard, honestly. At least, until I came here and was given these records.

[mrcreamsicles]

[It could have prevented a couple deaths. There's that.]

I could get into places people can't. Kind of doubt it would solve the endless puzzles for the rest of you, though.

[Kind of pointless to wonder what it could help when he can't now. If that changes, he'll worry about it then.]

So why do you think you're perpetually baby-faced? One of the benefits of angel friendship or something?

[warriorscribe]

Precisely that. Lucifel is vain, and I wouldn't doubt he'd treat a friend's appearance as part of his own. He gave me the jeans I wear, not content to allow me to wear clothing I could find in my own time.

[He lifts the hem of his raincoat a bit to show off the jeans under all the layers. He came in with that!]

I wouldn't doubt it if he prevented me from growing a beard, too. He's the only angel who would mind.

[mrcreamsicles]

[What the heck is he hearing. Davesprite looks down to observe the jeans when indicated, which doesn't really help the rest make sense.]

If I were an angel, doing dumb, pointless things like that would be first on my roster, but seriously? This Lucifel-not-Lucifer guy personally time travels a pair of blue jeans back to clothe your ancient legs so you don't harsh his style and turns you into the bane of barbers along the way?

[warriorscribe]

He is rather unique among angels. And in his defense, they're very comfortable jeans.

[A helpless smile - Lucifel is who he is. He learned to appreciate it all. That means occasionally losing sight of all the weird for being steeped in it.]

Though I do admit I'm not sure what I'm defending against.

[mrcreamsicles]

[He shakes his head.]

Forget it. I just straight up give the entire fuck up on understanding what other worlds are doing with their cosmology. Enjoy your divinely ordained fashion choices, bro.

[warriorscribe]

From what I recall you've told me of yours, I can't blame you for wanting to keep to one world to keep track of.

[He doesn't even remember it all correctly, but. He remembers it was very confusing.]

I believe I could clear up Lucifel's name for you, though. Are you familiar with the story of Babel?

[mrcreamsicles]

[Moving on doesn't hurt, and he is curious about the Lucifel thing.]

Something about a tower? Bible study wasn't a thing we did in the Strider household.

[warriorscribe]

[Looks like it's story time!]

The tower of Babel was a project to undermine God - in my world, the work of either demons or Fallen Angels, though the story as we remember it seems to think it was humanity's hubris? Either way, the sheer number of humans working on the tower was the only reason it was succeeding as well as it did, so God had the tower destroyed.

To prevent the demons or Fallen Angels or...overzealous rulers... [It's clear he doesn't think humans have the initial blame here.] ...from taking advantage of the masses again, He split the one language we all once shared into many.

I...I was there, but it was a very long time ago. I don't recall the details clearly. I do remember watching the tower crumble, however... Ah- in any case, Lucifel is my friend's name in the original tongue. His was the only name I know that didn't survive the split unchanged; its components live on in the names Helel and Lucifer.

[mrcreamsicles]

[This isn't the only edition of God he's heard about, but the whole thing sounds weird to him still. What about a tower could be so bad it undermines God? But Enoch brings it back around to names, and that puts his focus on a different question.]

So are you saying Lucifer and Lucifel are related as actual beings, or what? Because for a minute it sounded like you were bros with an edition of Satan who can't spell his own name right. Never heard of Helel, though.

[warriorscribe]

Lucifer and Helel are different names referring to the same person, who is called Lucifel in the original tongue. Satan is...not related. I can't remember where I've heard the name before this place, though.

[A single person splitting into multiple people is probably not outside the realm of possibility for Davesprite's odd world. ...It isn't for his, actually. Maybe. Whatever that business with Ishtar was. It's not too terribly strange that he'd make that mistake.]

[mrcreamsicles]

Could have sworn they were the same dude. Maybe pop culture's screwing me over, or else this is just one of those world differences that crops up and makes no sense to anybody.

[He shrugs, wings moving with it, then takes a moment to resettle them neatly at his back.]

But are you really saying you've never heard of Satan before this?

[That one's harder to imagine.]

[warriorscribe]

I haven't. The name sounds vaguely familiar, but I don't recall the context.

[He exists, but Enoch has never met him. He may, in doomed timelines, but not any that will get him this far. There's an angel with a very similar name but Enoch doesn't remember meeting him. Heaven was centuries ago, he's not going to remember an angel he met like once, maybe.]

[mrcreamsicles]

... Seriously?

[His eyebrows are bunching together.]

I'm talking about the literal Devil. Big Red, God's nemesis, horns and pitchfork, the guy people blame when they don't want to take responsibility for the bad shit they do. You don't know of him?

[warriorscribe]

[Oh - there's his likely answer!]

Oh, I've heard the name, but not associated with The Darkness, I know that much. In fact, I don't think even the angels know who rules The Darkness. There are princes and dukes but they've never spoken of a king. If people blame him for their misdeeds he's likely just that - a legend begun out of necessity. People blame demonic possession for many things that aren't, I've learned.

[mrcreamsicles]

["The Darkness"?]

I'ma just chalk that one up to world differences and leave it at that. I mean, people were wrong about the Satan thing anyway, but I sincerely doubt anybody predicted the universe was a giant frog or that what we really had to look out for was an angry dog demon.

[warriorscribe]

["Hell" was borrowed from Norse, do you think Heaven called it that? "Underworld" is the most correct human equivalent.]

...Your universe is a frog?

[mrcreamsicles]

Trust me, Enoch, I know how ridiculous that sounds comin' out of my mouth. How the fuck can a frog be a universe, right? And my answer is I got no idea how it works, but it does.

[He shrugs, then motions elsewhere in the house.]

You can ask Karkat about it; he helped breed the one Earth was in. And then after the world ended Jade bred a new one, but... she's not exactly around for questioning just now.

[Given the complication of being in a morgue still.]

[warriorscribe]

Well, it- it wouldn't be the first time someone has used an animal in their creation stories but for it to be true...

...What does that mean for ordinary frogs? A coincidence? Some sort of hint? Does every incarnation of your world have frogs, then, for the people who create the next to know of to breed?

[mrcreamsicles]

No, no, ordinary frogs are just ordinary frogs. You can't get the Genesis Frog—that's the universe one—without some specific equipment. Like, you want to sit down? Shit gets complicated when I have to explain what Sburb is.