[log] chips but no salsa [closed]

[mrcreamsicles]

Characters: Davesprite, Karkat, the Cat, Beckett, Angel, Rhys (the dickcheese one), and Enoch
Location: Building 309
Date: Day 285
Summary: A whole bunch of people meet up, tablet chips get handed off, and maybe pancakes happen.
Warnings: Nothing planned.

309: A house, green on the Geiger counter, that probably should have been redecorated ages ago. Everything looks to be from the 60s or 70s. There was carpeting here, but it's gone now, revealing a locked trapdoor in the bedroom. There's a bedroom, living room, kitchen, and bathroom. "зеленый" is written on the inside of the door. A ration box from the convenience store has been attached to the inside of one of the kitchen cabinets with wood glue. On the kitchen wall beneath it, a message has been painted in black: "i left a ration box here for storing food. if you want to leave rations for the people exploring it should hopefully protect them from radiation. any other supplies can go in the cupboard outside the box. contact davesprite (@featherydouche) if some fucker steals it".

Comments

[quadrangle]

[He has to roll his eyes at everything coming out of Davesprite's mouth, but at least the fact that he has yet to shut the fuck up means that Karkat can sneak another bite while he's chattering away. The texture is fluffy, the flavor sweet, and having actual hot food after literal human months (how has it been almost three?) warms him in ways that have nothing to do with the temperature. Can they kidnap Rhys after this? Probably not. Steal his pancake-making equipment, maybe? Also no, but it's nice to think about.]

They're not weird, and fuck you, I wouldn't want the crown anyway. Especially if it's that tiara you're always wearing.

[He flicks a finger toward wherever the abomination in question is resting, then goes back to eating. The rest is a little hard to address with the tone they've already set, but...]

... Thanks, Davesprite.

[mrcreamsicles]

[Davesprite's beautiful sunhat + tiara combo is sitting atop his bags, off to the side somewhere. He nudges him gently with his elbow.]

You're welcome, but only if you take back the diss to my style. Those plastic rhinestones are a luxury around here. You won't find them lying on the ground of just any establishment.

[quadrangle]

[Okay, so maybe not-smiling at Davesprite is a little harder now. Time to shove more food down his protein chute.]

I never said they didn't suit you, just that they're fucking hideous and even more of an affront to my ganderbulbs than everything else you deck yourself out in. Or I didn't say that, but I'm saying it now.

[mrcreamsicles]

Never knew you were such a masochist, Vantas. You like staring at all this gaudiness? I'm Lisa Frank's neon nightmare brought here to haunt you personally. You ain't never going to get rid of me now.

[He eats some more delicious pancake with his terribly orange face.]

[quadrangle]

["Lisa Frank?"]

[He nearly asks, but his mind is caught on something else before he shoves it forcibly down. It isn't relevant and isn't happening, so—]

When did I say I was staring? You're like if a circus tent dropped a deuce and tried to pass it off as a balloon animal. I wouldn't touch you to slap a fly off your face.

[mrcreamsicles]

[Davesprite sets his fork down, then reaches over to prod his fingers at his cheek. Carefully, what with the claws.]

You've been traveling with me how long? You should have gone blind by now, or stolen my shades off me to spare you the garish glare, but you get along just fine.

[quadrangle]

[The most Davesprite is going to get from the prod is a tiny smile, quickly hidden by a scowl as he "bats" the hand away. Shh, they're bickering.]

I have my own shades, remember? Even if they aren't half as stupid as yours.

[He steals another bite of his pancakes, smiling for a very different reason this time. Or, okay, fine, maybe the reasons are linked, but still.]

You shouldn't underestimate troll glance nuggets anyway. Fumbling around during daytime is way more hazardous than anything your unholy ocular onslaught can inflict.

[mrcreamsicles]

Glance nuggets?

[Sorry, Karkat, but he has to laugh. He stops poking him, at least.]

You don't wear them indoors, though, do you? You're inured. Your guard is all the way down and I swear to god, AKA you yourself, that you would miss all this orange eyesore if I fluttered on out of your life. Besides.

[He holds his hand up again, still now, beside his face.]

I'm like a full body accessory. I bring out your horns and eyes.

[Then he goes back to his pancakes. They're going to get cold if he keeps chattering.]

[quadrangle]

[Full body what. He looks momentarily horrified, then goes back to glowering.]

You say that like you're routinely draped across my person, which fuck no?! And sure, yeah, I'm your god, but that doesn't mean you get to get to use that to swear against me.

[Or use his name in vain or something, which seems like it would be a really good rule, now that he thinks about it, but anyway.]

Besides, you're not as well lit indoors, so it's way less offensive to look at you, which I don't.

[And Davesprite had better not be planning on fluttering out of his life regardless, but oh look, there's another sporkful of pancake headed his way that he can't ignore. Time to say that never.]

[mrcreamsicles]

No, man, no. But I float along beside you when we're out traveling, don't I? I'm fully mobile. Like one of those dangly earrings chicks wear without having to to weigh down whatever trolls call earlobes.

[What do trolls call earlobes, he wonders.]

You can keep on denying it, but I know you. Your eyes are just as much a beacon as the Cat's when the light hits them right.

[quadrangle]

[Oh, what the hell. He throws a hand up in the air, barred from doing so with both because, yeah, still eating here. Holy shit, he officially loves pancakes.]

Yes, and thank you for the reminder! I sure do love being as useless at night as I am during the day! Thank you for pointing out how spectacularly my "eyes" fail to do their job like they're supposed to! I really appreciate it!

[Not that he blames Davesprite in the slightest for any of it, but god, he fucking hates that this place took his night vision away from him. What was even the mentality behind that? Was there any? Ugh.]

[mrcreamsicles]

[He blinks behind his shades. He can't shoosh him here, but...]

Chill, dude. I wasn't aiming to remind you about anything. I'm just saying your eyes do the thing where it looks like the darkness itself is staring at me if the light catches them. Besides, I know having stuff like that taken sucks. Look at me and my wings.

[He nudges the nearer one against him. He can't fly properly anymore, after all.]

[quadrangle]

[Davesprite can't shoosh him, no, but the meaning behind "chill, dude" is abundantly clear. Karkat relaxes, then pokes at his pancakes a little more.]

Yeah, that's... I guess that's something similar.

[I.E, equally baffling, and he frowns a little even as he pries off another bite. This spork is stupid, but he's sticking with it to the end.]

It's weird no matter how you look at it. Like they want us to be basically normal humans, but they don't want normal humans here? Or we were just the closest they could get and then they used the nanomachines to cover the difference. It doesn't make any sense.

[mrcreamsicles]

[It works. That's enough.]

[As Karkat talks, he munches at his own pancakes some more.]

Winter said once that the nanomachines brought everyone down to baseline. There were like, some kind of augmentations people could get to make them faster or stronger or whatever? So that equalized them.

[He shrugs.]

It's sure as shit not helping us now, though.

[quadrangle]

[... "Baseline." What the fuck.]

I'm not even going to question how that works across multiple universes' definitions of "augmentation." That's just fucking stupid.

[Especially if they're supposed to solve the mysteries of this place, but then... the admin obviously doesn't give a shit. So there's that.]

[He sighs.]

We'll figure it out or we'll die horribly trying, but at least there's pancakes. Even if we don't have any syrup.

[mrcreamsicles]

Normal human level, dude. Humans can't fly or see in the dark.

[Another wing nudge. It's not much, no hug or pap, but it's something. He pokes at the last bit of breakfast in his tupperware container.]

Rhys and Angel have the chips, so hopefully they can figure something out. And Gabriel pointed out this machine back in the residential district we can try to check out if we can get the door open there.

[quadrangle]

No, I mean—

[He gestures furiously in midair.]

Like how does that even work when it's—not magic or stuff the admin hasn't seen before? Like psionics or sprite bullshit, how do the nanomachines know how to suppress that? It can't all be the same technology, can it? Sburb didn't have shit like that, so I... I don't think it'd work the opposite way.

[Would it? He temporarily abandons his spork to muss his hair with both hands, clearly frustrated, then picks it back up again, shoving more pancake into his mouth almost vengefully.]

Anyway, whatever. We can—yeah, maybe we can work that other machine? Or at least get past the door. It's worth a shot, right?

[mrcreamsicles]

You think I know?

[He shrugs at him.]

We don't even know how they're bringing us in yet. That's the bigger mystery.

[He finally eats the last bit, and spends a moment chewing it slowly, savoring the mild sweetness.]

I'm taking what we can get at this point. I don't want to get anywhere near cult central. [He jerks his chin westward.] But I've told Watson to tell us if he thinks of anything for us to check out elsewhere around town, and there's still those spaces down in the entrance area no one's been through yet, either.

[quadrangle]

[God, doesn't he know it. He keeps eating his pancakes, listening closely all the while.]

It can't hurt to check those out. I mean, I don't want to check out the cult's brooding caverns either, so maybe this is the best compromise? And then I guess looking for computers wherever we can as long as it's... you know. Not that building.

[He still remembers the references Davesprite's shadownet post had made to it, and yeah, no. Hell no. All sorts of hell fucking no.]

[mrcreamsicles]

[He nods firmly. He's never going back there if he doesn't absolutely have to.]

Then that's our plan. Watson said there was something down that turned out important when people were figuring out the power station, so we might find something. And even if we don't, we'll be able to cross that off so nobody else has to backtrack and search it.

[quadrangle]

[He mirrors the nod as decisively as he can.]

Yeah, that's something. And even if we just find another clue, we can tell other people about it. That has to help someone, right?

[mrcreamsicles]

Yeah.

[It feels like as much as they can hope for right now, but it staves off some of the feeling of uselessness that dogs him too often.]

[Now, however, he rises up with his tupperware and fork in hand.]

I'm gonna go rinse this out. I'll be back.