[log] double meetup bonanza [closed]

[mrcreamsicles]

Characters: Davesprite, Karkat, and the Cat, plus Steph and then Ecks and Castiel
Location: Building 263, then building 254.
Date: Day 246, midday then evening.
Summary: A bird, a crab, and a cat play courier to a super hero and a quilt person. Also, an angel is there.
Warnings: Discussion of/allusion to anomaly murders.

263: A small office building. It's the sort that looks like it should attach to some larger facility, but whatever it might have connected to is long gone. It's two stories: the first contains a small lobby area, a waiting room, and an area for secretaries. Going upstairs reveals a small honeycomb of eerily empty cubicles. There are desks and chairs in each one, but nothing on any desk or placed on any of the cubicle walls. There's one small one-person office in the back that's similarly empty, and two public bathrooms that work, though the water runs cold. On the wall by the desk in the one-person office, a drawing that says "I love you, Daddy!" has been adhered with cat stickers. "ALPHONSE ELRIC, DAY TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO. IF YOU NEED ANY ASSISTANCE, PLEASE CALL @LELRIC." has been written on a wall.

254: This skyscraper is half-ruined: the top of it has clearly collapsed. Still, it's large enough to work as a landmark, what's left seems stable enough, and the doors still work. Going inside reveals a fairly standard-looking lobby. The marble floors were probably pretty once, but are now dusty and cracked. Any signage indicating what this building was for is long-gone, and instead graffiti speaking of the prophet and eye symbols dot the walls.

The elevator shaft and the door to the stairs both open, but there's no elevator car, so it's best to take the stairs. Most of the doors here are ruined, crushed by rubble and debris and impassable, though there wouldn't be anything of use in crushed floors anyway. The top floor, however, is intact, and stepping in reveals what was probably once a floor for offices, though now everything is empty. There is a symbol of the prophet drawn in red paint on the floor by the door, and then a line that can be followed in one of three directions. Each one leads to one of the three skybridges in this building.

Comments

[mrcreamsicles]

If that's what happened, doesn't that just mean you get to choose your own life now?

["Not the worst thing" sticks in his mind, but he holds off from asking it for the moment.]

[godsspeed]

Maybe. I think I might be more enthusiastic if my choices weren't so limited. [ That's a joke, Davesprite. Appreciate it. ]

You're right, though. Maybe it's good that I have this opportunity to consider what I am and what all of this means. Even if it is difficult.

[mrcreamsicles]

[And to Castiel's credit, he gets a huff of a laugh from Davesprite.]

Some people talk about following people back to their worlds after this is over, but whether that's even possible is kind of up in the air right now. I'm still waiting to see if we can just put an end to this.

But I feel like just in the process of being here, it gives new perspective on everything. The circumstances are just too different from normal life, you know?

[godsspeed]

Ending the cycle should be our primary goal, yes. Even if we cannot leave, we should ensure that we are the last to be brought here. [ Castiel goes serious again - or more serious than normal - at the reminder of their goal. As much as he feels he is without purpose here, there's still that to focus on. ]

It is entirely different than anything I have ever experienced, and I have lived for a very long time. It's hard for me to know what to make of it, or of myself.

[mrcreamsicles]

That's my exact priority, Castiel. We put a stop to this, and anything else is gravy.

[He offers him a fist for the bump he explained earlier. Solidarity in goals is as good a reason as any for it, right?]

I wish I could say I had advice for the what to make of yourself angle, but honestly I've got no clue. I kinda gave up on that whole thing once we confirmed we're not fake copies of ourselves. After all the other existential junk in my life I want to take what mercy I can.

[It's honestly not as easy as that to just abandon the line of thought, but the whole of it is a complicated subject.]

[godsspeed]

[ It takes Castiel a moment, but to his credit he does pick up the cue and tentatively bump Davesprite's fist in return, watching his reaction carefully to make sure he's done it correctly. ]

In the grand scheme of things I guess it is one of the less practical things we could be worrying about. And at least we aren't alone.

[mrcreamsicles]

[Davesprite gives him a short nod of approval. Good job, Cas. Fistbump secured. He puts his hand down, but his eyebrow lifts after.]

I wouldn't say it's not practical or not worth thinking about. It's more...

[How does he explain it? He looks away.]

I spent the last three years before I came here worrying over who I am, so after this place got me wondering if I wasn't even the real Davesprite—never even mind all the other stuff—having that one thing proved real was like, okay, I'm not going to push my luck. Not more than whatever incidental stuff about it comes up, but it's kind of a relief to not have to worry about it as much.

[godsspeed]

[ Castiel just listens quietly, unsure that he understands completely but feeling like he understands just enough. When Davesprite finishes he nods, slowly. ]

I think when it comes to this sort of thing, being 'real' is something that's up to you. There being more than one of something doesn't make it lesser.

[mrcreamsicles]

[Davesprite looks back at him, and pulls on old habit enough to keep his expression even. Was he that obvious? Or is Castiel just pulling on the more localized concern this place put in his mind?]

[Hell, maybe it's both. The intent doesn't really matter if it still sticks at the old issue, and perhaps in truth it was him using the greater concern to push that issue outside his own head into a form he could test and deal with. Is that why he went so far to try it? He risked House's life and his own health besides. That they learned something medically useful from it was a happy accident.]

[He pulls his thoughts back to the content of the words themselves.]

It's not always that easy for people to see it that way.

[Which just puts his mind to John. And after recent events...]

If you've got specific stuff on your mind about your own situation, I can try to offer advice. Can't guarantee I'll know the right answer or even a good one, but if nothing else I can at least hear the problems.

[godsspeed]

True enough. [ He knows as well as anyone now that convincing yourself of something and convincing anyone else are two entirely separate things. ]

And... well. I've told you some of it before. That for angels, much of one's sense of self is wrapped up in duty and obedience. Many of us don't see ourselves as preforming our tasks so much as we are them. So, being here and without direction is...

At times I am not sure what I am.

[mrcreamsicles]

[The free will thing again. He remembers.]

I'm sure it's different for angels when you've got this whole divine hierarchy telling you what to do, but you know, humans aren't exempt from all of that. Not all the time. Maybe we're more free in some ways, but pretty much everybody's been shaped by some person or rule or general societal whatever telling them to obey and match a code of conduct. And whether you follow that or question it or buck it entirely is down to the individual. Part of the human experience. Other species, too—Karkat's got his own whole cultural context that shaped him—but obviously I'm human so thats' easiest to talk about.

I'm not going to give you kid show "be yourself" drivel because obviously if you knew what that meant you wouldn't have this problem. But if you want an easy task for now, "survive" is one. Not just to help everybody else, but for your own sake too, if there's an "after" to all of this. And maybe sometimes surviving is all you can do before you figure out what else you want.

[godsspeed]

[ Castiel nods again, looking... not pleased, but satisfied with Davesprite's answer. ]

Yes. In a way it helps to have physical needs. Hunger. Fatigue. The need for warmth. I can focus on those. A biological drive can be as simple as a moral one. Simpler, since what I once thought was moral may have been... Less than.

[mrcreamsicles]

[Davesprite's eyebrows drawn down behind his sunglasses.]

That's not exactly how I meant it. It is simple, but I mean that it will give you time to figure out what other task you might want to devote yourself to. Things like your big moral quandaries and what you want to do for humanity. But for what it's worth, I don't think trying to avert armageddon was a bad thing.

[godsspeed]

I understand. I just meant that having these constant, smaller tasks to keep myself occupied is... good. Or at least I can tell myself it is.

And it may not have been bad, but it was disobedient, and I was created to know that those were one and the same. It's not an easy idea to shake. I appreciate you saying that, though.

[mrcreamsicles]

[He scratches at his scalp.]

I'm still saying humans go through stuff like that. Maybe not the same way or the same intensity—we aren't made that way—but you're always going to have people who feel like disobeying something is automatically bad. And I'm not trying to diminish the weight of what you're feeling, either. That has to be even more intense for you with the angel thing. My point is you're not alone if you feel like shit for not meeting expectations.

[godsspeed]

[ Castiel considers that for a long time before he says anything else, just staring off into space and rolling what Davesprite said over in his mind. ]

Thank you. I... think I'm coming to realize that humans and angels are similar in more ways than we fully understand.

[mrcreamsicles]

[He lets him take the time he needs, and when he speaks again, he makes a soft sound of amusement somewhere between a snort and a laugh.]

What do you think I've been trying to tell you? You're a dude with wings whose whole purpose is to serve somebody else, and now you'e all full of existential issues because of it. That's the story of the last three years of my life, Castiel. You've even got a crow in there. Granted a lot of that is the sprite thing, but the human part of me still relates to other parts.

[godsspeed]

Oh.

[ In his defense when an energy being spends several thousands of years being told they're not something and should not act like or get too attached to something, that tends to stick pretty hard. ]

Well, thanks. Again. Having someone who understands at least some of this has helped.

[mrcreamsicles]

You're welcome, Cas.

[He nudges him lightly with the edge of a wing.]

You ever want to talk more about it, you know how to contact me. But I think I'm going to get up and go look around more now.

[godsspeed]

[ Castiel nods. ]

Yes. I will stay here, I think. You've given me a lot to consider.

I'm sure I'll speak to you again soon, though.

[mrcreamsicles]

[He rises, giving him a thumbs up as he goes.]

Sure thing. Good luck sorting it out.

[Then he grabs up his bags and heads off to search the building.]