[network] @Mnemosyne; video; night 227; history will judge us [open]

[bookofnope]

[Beckett starts the feed sitting huddled in a corner against a wall that's been burned a featureless black. He's not wearing his tinted glasses, and both his look and voice are flatly composed, distant.]

I am going to start recording everything. Simply leave this thing on at all times. We are losing too much information to patchy and inaccurate records in a way that is simply inexcusable considering the means we have access to. I strongly recommend that you all do the same. [He pauses, then nods half to himself.] If nothing else then for those who will come after us. Eventually.

[So optimistic, Beckett.]

Do let me know if you would like to receive regular transmissions of my records. And if you have, and are willing to use the means to put some of them on SD cards that may be preserved in the event of lost access to our iteration of the network. There is... a certain comfort in the thought of posterity, in my experience. Such as it is.

[Such as it is. He wrinkles his nose at the thought, and puts the tablet aside, though the recording keeps running. After a bit of time, he picks it up again and adds a text message, along with an attached file: TheBookOfNod.txt]

The file I am attaching is the complete text of the Book of Nod: the mytho-historic principle document of the Cainites, namely, the vampires of my world, transcribed from memory. I doubt this is of particular interest to anyone, but my physical copy was recently destroyed, and as far as I am aware, that was the last copy in existence. My purpose here is thus its preservation as a text. I am the last record of my Kindred. Let something remain.



[OOC: I didn't want to directly link one but if anyone's interested for whatever reason it's actually really easy to google up an online copy of Vampire the Masquerade's Book of Nod. I'm sorry it's so painfully 90s.]

Comments

[bookofnope]

[Alas, hint-taking has always been his great weaknesses.]

Ah. The destruction or possible overwriting of the universe, was it? Although I'm not sure how that can be accomplished via meteor, unless it is a particular meteor sent for that reason by a divine frog. You lead a very convoluted existence.

[quadrangle]

[Um, what.]

Meteors plural, and my universe wasn't destroyed? Or I don't think it was. Fuck, it might have been, but it wasn't because of meteors. The meteors just... look, it's complicated.

[And this is why he'd just wanted to leave it at "because meteors." Goddammit, man.]

Let's just say they're why my species was wiped out.

[bookofnope]

[Well, that turned into an awkward leaping to conclusions. Beckett blinks.]

In that case, let me offer my completely useless condolences. I was under the impression that you were also involved in that universe-rewriting lark, or at least so Davesprite seemed to suggest.

[quadrangle]

[Translation: this guy knows jack shit about the whole Sgrub/Sburb clusterfuck. Oh how Karkat envies that ignorance. Seriously, he's actually feeling sort of jealous and what is this.]

Different universe. Mine was... we were cut off from it. And the humans' universe, but we could communicate with them. That's how we arranged the scratch.

[... This is way more sobering than anticipated. He sighs.]

Anyway, I guess it happens, right? The humans had the same deal, at least as far as the rest of them dying.

[bookofnope]

I don't know. I only have a very partial version of the story. Which stands to reason, as the full story seems to be enough to fill several thick tomes.

[He looks at the tablet, considering - wishing he could see the boy behind it, and considering how much he wants to push. He'd been taking in this particular story in small doses since every dose seemed more unnerving than the last, but the vast expanse of its unknowns calls to all his instincts.]

Were you really a god of sorts, at some point? Responsible for the creation, or at least generation of worlds?

[quadrangle]

[Well, that sure is a question that just got asked. He's not even sure if it should be a point of pride anymore, only...]

A whole universe, yeah. The humans' universe. Our session made theirs, but their session was flawed from the start because of outside interference that wasn't us. They had to do a hard reset of the game to get a chance of winning, and we joined up with them because we were friends at that point and it was the only way to survive.

[bookofnope]

The only way. Despite your godhood. Or was that only a matter of perspective - a one-world, one-feat divinity, creator but no lord. That must be -

[He starts to say "frustrating", then thinks he might say "exciting", then settles on -] confusing.

[quadrangle]

Basically? Yes. We were supposed to receive the Ultimate Reward when we won—defeated the Black King, made our universe, whatever—but we got screwed out of it at the last second. And then there's shit like being god tier, but that's not really immortality, either? Or being all powerful. Like i said, complicated

[bookofnope]

Yes, godhood would be. [He's an uncertain mix of fascinated and wry.] And what is the Ultimate Reward? Proper omnipotence, omniscience - omnibenevolence?

[quadrangle]

[He sighs.]

We never got to find out, but it was supposed to take us to the new universe and... I don't know, I figured we were supposed to rule over it? I mean, again, we made the fucking thing, so what else are you going to do? And we probably would have become actual gods too.

[Properly immortal, too, so his friends couldn't have killed each other. That would have been nice.]

[bookofnope]

But -

[Are you braced for it, Karkat? Because his ability not to stop himself asking a million questions at once has always been very limited.]

Were you not already able to access the new universe? How were you cheated out of this reward? And who bestows it? Don't tell me it's simply "the game". The game has origins. The power and the laws that govern it come from somewhere.

[quadrangle]

[oh my god]

How the fuck should I know where it all comes from? It's not like any of the creators were around to explain this shit to us. I mean, even the ruins Sollux adapted the game from came from the game on a fucking meteor—do you even know what a stable time loop is? Because if the game is built on anything, it's built on those! Who fucking knows, it probably doesn't even have a specific origin at all because there's so much time travel bullshit mixed in with it that it's impossible to figure out!

[bookofnope]

So you are in no better position than the rest of us.

[He's working hard to keep his voice deadpan, because there is quite the mix of emotions there. Resentment at the lack of a good answer to his question; sympathy, perhaps; relief? But he's starkly aware, again, that he is talking to a child, who probably hasn't even thought about most of this before.]

What was it like... to be given godhood, only to realize it did not exactly do what it said on the tin?

[quadrangle]

[He's thought about it enough to have gotten thoroughly sick of thinking about it, in fact. It sure is fun being treated as nothing more than an intellectual curiosity when this is literally his whole fucking life.]

Gee, I don't know, random stranger on the internet! What do you think losing my planet, my species, fighting for weeks straight, and seeing my friends die only to have it all be rendered totally meaningless felt like?

[bookofnope]

[Well, doesn't that sound like a familiar experience. Beckett's face twists very slightly, the look of someone tasting curdled milk, but that's all he gives. Random stranger on the internet indeed.]

You did create a new universe, though. I believe you succeeded in that much. Surely that counts for something?

[quadrangle]

[This time the "oh my god" is muttered aloud, then followed by a sharply cut off sound that may have been a quickly stifled scream of frustration.]

What am I saying, of course you're right! I made a universe, so that completely fucking justifies everything! Who cares what it took to get there or everything that happened right after; I should just revel in my superiority and say fuck it to everything else! Dead friends?! All of paradox getting systematically fucking destroyed? Hahaha! Why should any of that matter to me? I'm a god, remember?!

[bookofnope]

Don't give me that woe-is-me-no-one-understands speech, lad. I was closer to your position than you know.

[That's all you get, Karkat. He will say nothing more on that. His jaw is tight, and his eyes are cold under the tinted glasses.]

I was merely curious about how the experience might have changed your perspective. Given you some... insight, whatever that might mean.

[quadrangle]

[Wow, it's almost like Beckett thinks Karkat gives a shit about his struggles. How perfectly fucking adorable.]

[He snarls under his breath, then responds.]

Sorry, no, I think I'll be keeping my deep revelations about the nature of all existence to myself. Fuck you and goodbye.