[There's a panicked edge to Church's voice at first, but he clears his throat and starts speaking more clearly.]
I feel scared to even think these days. Every thought's like- like a fucking tripwire, anything at all could be the thing that sets me off and makes me break down. I've got no idea how I've managed to hold it together even this long. One of these days I'm gonna have to start thinking about what's wrong with me, about what those shitheads did to me. About whoever the poor asshole is whose body I'm in. And about Tex.
And... fuck, I don't wanna say this, but. What if someone dies and it's my fault? I'm trying to watch out for Caboose, but what if something happens to him? Just thinking about that is- I can't think about that. I can't.
@fuckyou; audio [cw: mental instability, self loathing]
[There's a panicked edge to Church's voice at first, but he clears his throat and starts speaking more clearly.]
I feel scared to even think these days. Every thought's like- like a fucking tripwire, anything at all could be the thing that sets me off and makes me break down. I've got no idea how I've managed to hold it together even this long. One of these days I'm gonna have to start thinking about what's wrong with me, about what those shitheads did to me. About whoever the poor asshole is whose body I'm in. And about Tex.
And... fuck, I don't wanna say this, but. What if someone dies and it's my fault? I'm trying to watch out for Caboose, but what if something happens to him? Just thinking about that is- I can't think about that. I can't.