[network/video] @309_W1C_2DZ; Day 205; Midday [open] cw: mention of suicide

[howdull]

[For once Sherlock is not on text only, he's on video in all his glory. Which is a very diminished glory today, considering he looks terrible. Too thin in the face, though his clothes hide the rest of him, and dishevelled as though he's spent a few months not really putting any care into his appearance. His hair is longer than the last time anyone has seen him, and he looks older.

He's moving frantically in short bursts of energy, jittery, as if he isn't quite sure whether he wants to stay still or keep moving.]

Data, yes, I should share that. [It's a mumble to himself as the tablet tilts, giving an askew feed of the detective.] Purposeful death does cause nearly guaranteed revival, this has now been tested several times with no known cases of permanent death.

[The tablet shifts again as Sherlock moves between morgue drawers, checking them one by one and then moving on.]

John. [It's a sudden shift in direction.] John Watson, has anyone seen him?

Comments

[devoutish]

Yeah.

But he would have died anyway.

[Kesara is the only person he's ever known to have survived a night out in the snow, and she'd had her tent.]

[howdull]

No. My calculations were good, my death was timed precisely, he should have survived.

[He doesn't understand what he got wrong here, it was all basic maths.]

[devoutish]

You were outdoors. Survival does not happen outdoors.

gdi html

[howdull]

There were circumstances that could have made it possible.

[Extra layers, the air being warmer in the tunnels and caved in area, Sherlock's organs.]

[devoutish]

Well, they didn't.

[Alfie doesn't sound angry or condemning here. Just tired, and blunt.]

[howdull]

[His jaw clenches so hard that the muscles all stand out under the skin, a starkly visible reminder of his grief. But his voice is still mostly calm, even as it issues through gritted teeth.]

How many days has it been?

WHY DO I KEEP MISSING THE COMMENTS FROM THIS POST I'm sorry

[devoutish]

Two. He's still got time to come back.

<33

[howdull]

[He does, of course he does, that's far from the longest a revival has taken. It still sits uncomfortable in his stomach.]

Do you know if he did all I told him to?

[Was it his calculations?]

[devoutish]

Of course he fucking didn't. You know the man.

[howdull]

[That's like a slap in the face, and it shows.]

He promised me that he would, John is a man with a ridiculously overblown sense of honour, he should have been compelled to obey a promise made to follow a dying wish. It should have been enough to overcome any other objections, and I know he's not squeamish, why would he not do it?!

[devoutish]

What do you think that would have done to his head? Eh? That's not a rhetorical question, Sherlock; I'd like you to answer it.

[howdull]

John was an army doctor who has seen many corpses in his life, and operated on many organs, he is not so weak as to be traumatised by the sight of viscera.

[devoutish]

And when it's yours? You don't think that makes a difference?

[howdull]

No.

[Why should it? He looks at the camera with an honestly baffled expression.]

I would already be dead, any concerns about hurting me would be moot by that point.

[devoutish]

You're fucking impossible.

[howdull]

You clearly disagree. Is this about sentiment?

[devoutish]

Yeah, it is. You know he loves you.

[howdull]

[He's not so sure of that any longer, and that's what he means to say, but his death price has other ideas.]

And I love him, what does one have to do with the other?

[devoutish]

You're supposed to be a genius, Sherlock. I'm sure you can puzzle it out.

[howdull]

Surely the sentimental angle should have made him more likely to obey. Were John to ask me a last request, though I deem such things utterly foolish in the mawkish devotion most people give to them, I would see it come to pass.

[devoutish]

He didn't ask you to cut him open, did he. That sort of thing hurts a man's soul, even if it's a stranger.

[howdull]

[It does? How would he feel were he to cut John open? It would be unpleasant, but if it had been John's final wish...]

John is not an ordinary man, he could have borne it.

[But he didn't, did he?]

This conversation is pointless, all you're doing is wasting my time. If you have nothing useful to add, then leave me be.

[devoutish]

Yes, yes; he lets the trauma roll off his back, doesn't he.

[Clear sarcasm. Sorry, Sherlock.]

Right, then fuck off; I've got nothing more to say.

[howdull]

[And fuck off he does, hanging up with an irritated and distress looking expression the last image to be seen before it goes blank.]