snowblindrpg | [network] @username; text; morning 181 [open]

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[network] @username; text; morning 181 [open]

[This is only the second time that Bucky has ever addressed the network as a whole, and he's just as reluctant this time as he was last time. It digs at the paranoia in his head, putting things about himself out there for just anyone to see, but after what happened last night... There's probably nobody better qualified to talk to the people who were prophet eyed, even if that wasn't him.]

Being controlled to kill makes it not your fault.

[That's a hard thing to accept, though. He knows, he really does.]

Separate your identity from the identity of whoever used your body last night. Recognise you can be dangerous and take precautions, but don't shut down. If you do, they win.

[He knows that he doesn't exactly spell out that he has experience in it, but this amount of implication is the best he can offer. And that's all he can say about it. He hangs up and goes to check on the people he is with in person.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You... That had to be hard for you. Are you all right?

[Really? He's replying over the tablet? Bucky just stares at his screen for a moment, before he pads through to find Tony.]

Did you hurt anyone?

[Ignoring the 'are you alright'.]

[Tony is hiding in the corner of the kitchen. The place is small, but with everyone generally avoiding contact, it's easy enough to keep away from everyone and just sit on the network. He wouldn't be surprised if they split up after all of that, and he doesn't go looking for them. He cringes when Bucky comes in and speaks, keeping his eyes on the tablet.]

Are you all right?

[You didn't answer his question, Buck.]

[That's likely a yes, and he notes that cringe. Poor bastard.]

Yeah, I'm alive again, no injuries left.

[He's not alright, not really, but physically he is fine. Besides, he'll cope with the rest himself, he's been doing it for years.]

Tony, did you hurt anyone?

Good. I'm glad you're alive.

That doesn't actually answer my question, but I'm glad you're alive.

[It's a fair trade, answering one question for another. Tony looks up from the tablet.]

Not this time. I tried, but I didn't get that far. If you need insurance, I won't resist.

You won't resist what?

[One eyebrow hitches up in confusion, even as his shoulders relax minutely in relief that Tony didn't actually manage to hurt anyone. That's good, Clint is already damaged enough, more of them being that broken would make it much harder.]

We don't know if the effects will kick in again at some point. Right now, anyone who was displaying aggression in the last day can't be trusted with their own judgment. It's going to be hard to watch our backs as it is.

You're right, we don't know that.

[Welcome to living with something like this.]

But all we can do is be prepared for it, treating you like you're a criminal before it happens isn't helpful to anyone.

[Tony has to smile at that. Bucky acts like he doesn't know what's right or if he can live up to it, but in the end it comes as naturally to him as anything. That is something innate. Something he's jealous of.]

I'm glad you feel that way. Most people aren't. They're just more victims of whatever the town is doing to us.

[He raises an eyebrow, but in the end just shrugs.]

I've had a lot of practise.

[Really, of all the people here, he's the best equipped to deal with this.]

That... yeah. You got me there. But we have dealt with things like this. The Avengers. We're not just- I let it get me.

I'm sorry about what happened. [Let's start with apologies.]

I was compromised.

I know, so don't apologise.

[He tries not to let it get to him. Hearing people apologise means they accept some guilt onto themselves, means they must think he should feel guilt for what he's done. And he does, but if he lets himself feel that much of it then it will crush him.]

Move on, and make the ones responsible for it apologise.

I owe you an apology. I'm going to apologize.

[It's more than just the brainwashing moment itself. Tony should have known better. He did know, and he didn't prevent it. He's been sitting in that kitchen thinking deeply about what went wrong for hours.]

Move on? Is that your professional advice? Just move on.

Yes.

[It's sharper than it needs to be, because he's being so irritatingly insistent about these apologies.]

There is literally nothing else you can do. How do you make up to anyone for killing them, killing their loved ones, committing atrocities with your hands? It doesn't matter to them if you wanted it or not, the blood is still spilled. You move on, or you die, those are your options.

[Tony pauses, startled by the sharp reply.]

I'm not saying I can make up for anything. Apologizing is just how I can acknowledge what happened. I don't want to run, that's all.

[He sighs and looks back at the table.]

If it bothers you, I can just leave it at that. I don't like not having control of my actions either. We can agree on that much. The question is how do we keep them from forcing us to do that again?

I don't know if we can, there are some things that can't be resisted.

[He's learned that the hard way.]

We'd be best working on a contingency of how to restrain people if they lost themselves again.

Some things. Not all things. And I should have done more.

You're probably right about the restraining, though. It's better to have the plan and not need it than have a complete mess on our hands.

[He bites back a sigh at the continued self deprecation.]

Then we keep an eye out for strong rope, zip-ties, things like that.

[He doesn't look happy about the suggestion, but he reluctantly agrees.]

As a last resort. I don't want to start a panic with people just trying to tie each other up either.

You really think that would happen?

Don't you?

No, I think there are too many 'heroes' here.

I think you overestimate heroes.

I think you might be underestimating them.

I'm pretty sure we call that being realistic.

@IAmLegend; audio; private

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