snowblindrpg | [log] we're not gonna make it [closed]

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[log] we're not gonna make it [closed]

Characters: House, Steph, Zach
Location NN5 - Building 203
Date: Morning 181
Summary: The aftermath of murder night
Warnings: Will add as necessary! Will discuss murder and eyeless kids.

203: A rather boring apartment, but maybe that's a relief. It has a living room, attached kitchen, two small bedrooms, and a bathroom. The whole thing is sparsely decorated, but there's a whole wall of the kitchen plastered in silly children's drawings. None are of particular note except that there are a lot of colors and it looks like some were traced from picture books. Rocket ships, motorcycles, and hot rods have been added to the drawings in gel pen.

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[Morning comes with even less sleep than usual, and a feeling of absolute dread when Zach comes to, feeling gross with sweat and a dizzying headache. The first thing he does is rush outside, and retch by the side of the house, throwing up bile more than anything else.

When he comes back indoors, all he can do is crawl to Steph, not daring to touch her as he looks on at her, feeling tears prickling at the corners of his eyes.]

What the fuck did we do?

[ Steph doesn't scream, but she wishes she could. She wakes up shaking, and until Zach comes back inside she doesn't move.

Tears fill her eyes as she looks up at him. She wants to say something, even opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. She remembers the look of fear in House's eyes. She remembers the image in her mind of him crucified, and how right it had felt.

She lifts her right hand, just to see if it hurts. It feels normal. She squeaks a sob. ]

God.

[He wants to touch her - reassure her, and himself, that they're real and their heads are not being fucked with anymore.

But he can't. He feels like he's got blood dripping down his fingers, like he'd smear it all over her if he reached out. It's an image so completely stuck in his head he can't get rid of it. He can't. He'll taint her.

So he stays there, kneeling by her side, looking at her crying and halfway there himself, shaking and just unable to understand what happened.]

Where - where did you go? I tried - I tried -

[ She drops her hand and shakes her head. She still feels frozen, like she couldn't move much more if she tried. ]

I-- I had to--

It was the only thing I could think to do.

[His shoulders drop, and he rubs a hand over his face.]

I didn't even - but I wanted to.

[He looks back at her with tired, tear-filled eyes.]

I was worried about you. Do you hate me?

I love you. I love you so much--

[ She struggles out of her inertia to wrap her arms around him, burying her face in his shirt and sobbing. ]

I. I. I think. I think I killed myself.

[Zach's heart stops as her words hit him. Dumbly, he wraps his arms around her, tight, feeling like he can't let go, as his heart stops again and starts beating a mile a minute, like it wants to burst right out of his ribcage.

When he lost her, he went and found Kesara. It was gruesome and yet satisfying to work with her again, but now - now he hates himself for it. And he worried about Steph throughout the night, but didn't find her again, didn't -

He gets it. He wouldn't have that kind of strength, himself.]

Babe, oh my god, Steph...I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have left you, we could have made it together, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[ She shakes her head over and over, still shivering. It took everything she had to do as much as she did. And she didn't hurt anyone but Bucky. Just Bucky. Jesus, poor Bucky. ]

I kn-knew. I needed to be alone. I needed to-- to go after someone who could. Who would. I couldn't think.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

No, no, no, don't, I'm - I'm the one, I could have helped you, I don't know, we could have -

[God, what a mess. He stops talking, because nothing will make either of them feel better. They're fucked up, she's probably replaying the events of the night just as much as he is, the sick pleasure and the determination to hurt. He just holds her for a long time, feeling like a broken doll, strings cut.]

I wish I could have been as brave as you.

No. No.

[ She moans the word between sobs. ]

I could be dead. We could both-- No.

D'you really think I want to keep going around here without you?

[It's kind of insane, to say these words, but right now he's got nothing else. He doesn't want to keep going in Norfinbury if Steph isn't here with you. Losing Kesara was already such a blow that he thought he was going to die of grief. Losing Steph would be....unbearable.]

[ It's horrifying and terrible - but still kind of really sweet? Steph doesn't even know where her brain is at right now. ]

Don't. Just... just don't. I want us both alive at the end of this.

Me too. Me too, I'm just saying, I don't....

[He stops himself, shakes his head. He ends up curled up above her, just holding her, fingers closed tight into her clothes at her back.]

I'm sorry. I'm so glad you're okay.

Yeah. Yeah, me too. You too.

[ She nestles her chin in his neck, doing her best to breathe through a tear-stuffy nose. ]

[He wraps a hand around the back of her neck, closing his eyes and leaning in to kiss the hinge of her jaw, breathing shallowly.]

I love you.

I love you too.

[ She clings to him, letting her eyes close and trying to just be here, in this moment with him. ]

[House wakes with a gasp in the other bedroom. Panicked, the doctor claws his scarf from his throat and sucks down air in giant gulps as he feels for damage, feels for bruises that aren't there.

He hears movement in the rest of the apartment and goes perfectly still. The others are here. His scalpel? His scalpel is here, even though he dropped it in the tunnels with Al. House knew it was gone the moment he'd let it slip from his fingers. But now he's here. He's here and Steph and Zach are, too.

Reset. Game over. Try again?

It's cold again, frigidly so, but House pulls he hand mirror from his pack, hands shaking. His eyes are still glowing. Fuck.

Zach and Steph aren't after him, yet, which means they're not actually still murderous or they don't know he's here. House isn't banking on the not still murderous thing, so he pulls his pack on as quietly as possible. The wooden croquet mallet stays out in his hands.

House creeps as quietly as he can out of the room. It's past the point of lockdown ending, so hopefully, he can get out and just run again. This time, he'll hide better.]

[ Steph is crying too hard to hear House move around, but at some point in the morning it occurs to her that if they woke up here again, House must have too. She comes looking for him as he starts sneaking out of his room. ]

House? House, are you here?

[ She needs to make sure he's okay. Or, if not okay, at least not dead. ]

Would he be?

[Zach asks straight away, not coming to the same conclusion as Steph from the get-go. His mind is way too clogged up with so much, he can't think straight.]

Shit.

[It would make sense. Zach himself ended up back in this place now, when he was definitely out of the tunnels during the night. Steph - he doesn't even want to think about what happened to Steph.]

House, if you're here, we...it's gone.

[House freezes when the other two step out of the room. His heart pounds, and he stares at the pair in the dimness like a rabbit facing down some coyotes. His grip on the mallet tightens as he considers replying or just bolting. They're going to see him, either way, and the catch in Steph's voice tugs at him more than House would like to admit.]

Stay where you are. [House's voice is harsh, far firmer than he feels.] I'm taking out my tablet, and I'm gonna film you to see if the distortion's gone. Move, and I'm taking out kneecaps first.

[ Steph doesn't have her bags, but she still has her utility belt with its array of glass shards. She stops when she sees him, one hand up in surrender, the other unhooking the belt and tossing it aside. Her face may be splotched and wet with tears, but her expression is completely serious.

Her eyes are normal too, but she doesn't know that. She assumes her eyes look like Zach's. ]

Go for the head, you'll do more damage. Pretty sure both of us have had our share of concussions.

Are you hurt? I'm not, but that may be because I died.

I don't think - my eyes - [Zach looks at Steph, silently asking her to check. Hers are fine, which is even more worrying.

He holds his own hands up in surrender as well.]

Go for it, man.

[It takes him longer than it should to fish his tablet out. House's hands are shaking and he doesn't take his eyes off of them, particularly Zach.]

You're still with the Prophet, Spencer. She's normal. [It's the first time he's called the young man by his real name.

He does eventually get his tablet out and turns it on a little awkwardly while trying to keep his grip on the mallet. He tries it with the Eye App off, then on, looking for the distortion.]

[ She turns to blink at Zach for a moment. She hadn't really given his eyes much thought. Mostly she was too busy crying. Now that she's not brainwashed they make her shudder. ]

Well that's... good to know?

[Zach clenches his jaw, his hands fists at his side. This is just peachy. Just great. He might turn on Steph now? Or...whatever this means. He swallows hard, muscles in his jaw jumping as he does.]

I swear, I'm not - I feel normal. I don't know what the hell's going on.

[Well, his eyes still light up, but Steph's don't. No distortions, either, but he hadn't seen any with Quark until he started getting physically violent.]

Eye app says she's actually back to normal... for as long as that lasts. I'm getting out of here.

[There's a long pause.]

Where's your ragdoll?

In my bag. Purple backpack, in the room back there.

[ She points. She figures he'll want to get it himself, and get as far away as fast as he can. She doesn't blame him. She wishes she could run away from everything that happened. ]

[Zach doesn't say anything, shaken by the fact that he might still be very dangerous, and this time - to both of them. It's even worse.

He just steps away, his hands up and trembling. If House wants to go, he's more than welcome to. Zach feels like going, too.]

[House glances past the pair of them, then points with the mallet to the room he'd woken up in.]

Get in there, both of you. [He doesn't trust walking past them into an enclosed space.]

[ Steph nods her agreement, but turns her attention to Zach. If it's occurred to her that his eyes might be a problem she knows it must have occurred to him. She reaches to take his hand before heading into House's room. ]

[He lets her take his hand, but he doesn't squeeze hers in response, just walks to the other room, determinedly not looking at either Steph or House.]

[He should probably be more worried about Steph getting stuck with Zach, but just at this moment, he thinks she's probably safe from him, and that's good enough. He'll wait for the pair of them to disappear into the room, then dart forward and close it.

House puts a wine glass in front of the door so that he'll hear it fall if they try to sneak out. And then he's into the other room, checking Steph's pack for the ragdoll.

It's a moment where he contemplates just leaving, but he should say... something. House collects his wine glass and stops at the exit.]

I'm out. Keep away from people with glowing eyes.

[ Steph doesn't know what to say to Zach. She knows she needs to say something, but it's all so much and so immediate that she can't form the words.

She watches him worriedly while they wait to hear the front door open and close, and tries not to cry more.

When she hears him call out she peeks her head out the door and tries a sad facsimile of a smile. ]

Be careful, okay? Find... find someone you can trust. Please.

[By then, Zach has let go of her hand, and moved back from her, all the way to a corner of the room. He's slowly sliding down to the floor, the heels of his hands digging hard against his eyes.]

You can't trust anyone here.

[And he's gone. Goodbye, Steph and Zach.]

[ Steph sighs, and takes a moment to just rest her eyes, forehead pressed against the door frame.

She can't cry. She has to keep it together now.

Finally she turns back to Zach. ]

Hey. It's okay, Zach. Whatever happened, it's over now.

[The sound that escapes him at that is hollow. He feels - broken inside, shaken to his very core. He doesn't know what to do - what is means, that his eyes are still the same. Is he - he can't bear thinking about it, but he has to. He has to.]

Is it? [He looks up at Steph, his face twisted in a grimace.]

Look at me, Steph. It's not over.

[ She knows. Of course she knows. She can't stop knowing. ]

Maybe not, but the killing is. Look at us, we're all fine. We're okay. It's going to be okay.

[He clenches his jaw. He wouldn't mind feeling optimistic, but that's not about to happen.]

Until next time. This is Norfinbury, after all. Let's not pretend it's fine, Steph.

[ She gets down on her knees to hug him tight. ]

It's not any worse than it's ever been. I'm not pretending.

[He tenses up involuntarily, and forces himself to relax.]

Steph, I - I'm terrified.

I know. I know, baby. I am too.

[ She can't keep the tears back anymore. She has the feeling she's going to be crying a lot today. ]

[He swallows, hands curling around her as she holds him.]

We need to go get Kesara.

Yeah. [ She takes a deep, shaky breath and lets it out. ] Yeah, we do.

House should get enough distance while we pack up.

He's going to go the other way anyway. Deeper in, not out. It doesn't make sense that he would go back.

He won't want to be too close when we start to move.

[ She pulls away now to dry her face. ]

No, I know. Let's pack up.

[ She nods her agreement and heads off to the other room to do just that. ]

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[log] we're not gonna make it [closed]

Morning 181 [for Steph]

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cw: suicide

cw: suicide

cw: suicide

cw: suicide

cw: suicide

cw: suicide

cw: suicide

cw: suicide (also sorry for the 'you' instead of 'him'...early morning brain)

I completely missed it. also I think the suicide warning is mostly done for now?

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House > Steph > Zach?

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Waiting on a mod reply to know if the distortion is still there!

o7

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