[network] @joacin; video/audio/text; poof [day 164]

[haillenarte]

[@joacin's voice is calm, husky, and professional.]

I would like to announce that the rubble in the museum has been cleared. There is now a viable path to the other side.

[there is an accompanying video:

the camera focuses on haurchefant — who else? — doing some heavy lifting, shouldering a large block of concrete from the pile and pushing it to one side. he isn't wearing a shirt, and even in the dim lighting of the museum, his muscles glisten with an alluring mist of moisture. haurchefant grunts. he doesn't seem entirely aware he's being filmed.

the camera then pans over to aymeric, who is just as topless and well-built as the first elezen, though considerably more tan, and less sweaty. he pauses in his work to sigh and roll his shoulders, running one hand through his dark and attractively disheveled hair. the camera keeps moving. house and merlwyb come into frame, but even though merlwyb has stripped down to a fairly revealing cotton bodice, the video doesn't linger on her. instead, it moves toward the last of the ishgardian knights, estinien, who has just finished removing the last of his armor; his back muscles flex while he pulls his luxurious silver locks into a ponytail — and just as he turns around, the video ends.]

Thank you for your patience regarding this matter.



[...unsurprisingly, five minutes later, @joacin posts another message to the network.]

apolgies
my apologies
please do not watch the preceding clip, here is the correct video
i am deeply sorry please frgvie me goodbye

[the second accompanying video is much shorter, and simply features the rubble pile collapsing in a cloud of dust, metal, wood, and glass while a startled hange yelps and moves out of the way. when the dust settles, there's a clear path to the other side! how nice!

...no shirtless elves in sight!]

Comments

[dravanicide]

I care not how he likes my hair.

[He says, yet lets Aymeric do what he will with it.]

[mrcreamsicles]

but you let him run his delicate elfin fingers through it and put it in fancy braids

[dravanicide]

I worry for your standards if such arbitrary practices between partners would lead you to believe there is aught romantic between us.

[THAT WORDING ISN'T HELPING, ESTINIEN.]

I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not

[mrcreamsicles]

no one needs a feathery douche for a boyfriend
what im saying is youre all close and physical with him
all that personal grooming pair bonding i wont let my guard down for anyone but you kind of business
his is the one soft touch your cold exterior will yield for
the deft hand that removes the stick from your ass
or you know
puts it there

[dravanicide]

I can assure you there is naught of his going anywhere near my arse, you swiving lecherous whoreson.

Our closeness speaks of brothers in arms, not of lovers. Try as you might to twist what shared comforts we foster, but you merely make yourself appear desperate to be right about a bond you know naught about.

[Which makes it far more infuriating that he's pretty dead on with some of it.]

[mrcreamsicles]

dont speak ill of the dead douchebag
my mother was a saint
probably
she got my sister an actual live pony for her birthday that has to count for something

also let me just say most brothers in arms dont go playing with each others hair
its gay as hell

[dravanicide]

Were she truly a saint, then little would I assume something so foul to spill from her loins.

[He's not really sure why a pony as a gift would make her seem a saint, but he'll let his commentary say all that needs to be said.]

I am full certain you know all there is about brothers in arms. Tell me, in what wars have you fought? What comrades have you bled with? Regardless, such a simple act as him tending for what I care not to does little to lend itself to any such confirmation of ludicrous claims such as yours.

[mrcreamsicles]

see theres your answer
i never spilled from her loins at all
im a conception so immaculate pregnancy never swelled her fine form
a baby born of the fabled ecto sorceries
she was a majestic wizardress you see
of course it was my sister who took after her so youd have to ask her the tale if she ever has the bad luck to show up
as for me
i was raised separate by my brother
who is the literal brother in arms who fought with me against a demonic hound straight outta hell
the same brother i lost in the battle
but i lived
despite injuries and the red miles he lashed the land of wind and shade with i lived
i know my shit estinien