[log] A Matter of Trust [closed]

[jumpthegun]

Characters: John Watson and Bucky Barnes
Location Building 235 (the Aquarium)
Date: Day 160 - Night
Summary: John's come to try to help Bucky with his frostbitten arm. Bucky was using that as a lure for a trap to interrogate Watson about what he knows. It's not going to end well for anyone.
Warnings: Excessive violence, blood, gangrene grossness

[The aquarium has the feel of a small-town tourist attraction, the sort built to give people just stopping to fuel up on petrol a reason to stay for an hour or two. As John makes it into the place, it's early evening. There are various aquariums inside that, according to plaques beside them, once showcased various Alaskan fish; they're empty now. He checks in the bathroom and finds that the water does, indeed run hot, and that's a relief. The whole atmosphere is kind of eerie, with the water casting rippling patterns on the walls, ceilings, and floors, but there's warm water, and John's just going to have to wait for Bucky since a look around tells him he's alone.

After washing up, himself in the sink, and taking the moment to shave and wash his hair, John goes looking in the gift shop. He finds a stuffed dolphin that he decides to keep for Ecks. As that leaves him still with no Bucky and time to occupy himself, the doctor sends a brief message out:]

@jwatson > @username
I'm here.

[When Bucky arrives, John is entirely preoccupied using his tablet light to read some of the plaques. His ears are tuned for the sounds of others, but someone making the effort could probably sneak up on him.]

Comments

[jumpthegun]

It's never too late, Bucky. [This is working. Yes. Good.] Untie me, let me see that shoulder of yours. We can still do what I came here to do. And you can tell Tony you talked to me and I said he can talk to me direct. Knock over an aquarium and say it fell on us; we can treat all of this like it was an accident.

That's all it is, right? You didn't mean for this to happen like it has.

[advanced]

[He sits back in a crouch, eyes hooded and blank.

He knows what this is. Watson is trying to gain his trust, negotiating for a hostage. But the second he unties him, he'll be the one on the ground and tied up. People don't just forgive and forget being attacked.

He smiles, wry and bitter, and huffs a breath that half sounds like a weary laugh.]

You know what the funny part of this is?

[He's not answering the question, half talking to himself even though his eyes remain fixed on Watson.]

It's been seventy years since I had a friend, and you were my first one.

[He stands slowly, looking down at the smaller man.]

However I meant it to happen, it's irrelevant. I've gone too far, and I still need that information.

[jumpthegun]

[John's expression tightens for a moment, the admission of friendship like a punch across the jaw. He doesn't have friends. Not many of them. That Bucky felt they were... with everything he'd gone through. It... it doesn't matter right now.

The man standing up means that playing nice is over.]

No. You're about to go too far. Don't do this, Bucky. It's not who you want to be, and it's not the man you really are. You're better than this.

[advanced]

Stop calling me that.

[The demand is made softly, almost sadly. He's slid back since he asked to be called Bucky, he's lost a lot since then. The trust of his first friend, his best friend dying in front of him, the admission they were being programmed. He feels fractured and confused, like he hasn't felt since he first ran from the Potomac.]

I don't know the man I really am, so how would you know?

[The muscles in his jaw tighten. He still looks so conflicted, so guilty even as he readies himself to continue. He looks hopeless, like a man who knows he's gone too far and there's no way back.]

Last chance, Doctor Watson, tell me what you know.

[jumpthegun]

I know that Bucky Barnes is an American hero. That he fought against the Nazis, that he survived countless battles, that he gave everything to protect an asthmatic kid from Brooklyn just because it was the right thing to do. I know that you're a hero, whatever HYDRA did to you. And you are better than this. So much better.

[advanced]

[He flinches as if he's been struck, bile at the back of his throat. A hero. He knows this is just manipulation to get him to back down, but it still strikes hard.]

You don't know me at all, all you know is a fictional character.

[But he's successfully derailed for now.]

[jumpthegun]

No. I know you. [John locks eyes with Bucky.] I know what you do and don't want to be because you've told me. I know that you've got decent advice when it comes to dating. I know you've got a sense of humor. I know what you look like when you smile. I know that you've been fighting tooth and nail to protect people from your programming, how much it hurt you when you killed someone. I know you. Because those are things I've shared with you, not a character.

I know your history. That's is. And the broad strokes, at that. I know you because of this. All of this. Everything here.

[advanced]

[His back hits one of the tanks before he even realised he was backing up, expression caught somewhere between horrified and desperate.

Watson is right, they are all things they've shared here. They're what made him think that he might have a friend after all this time, someone to trust. He's utterly conflicted. His head is screaming at him to get the information, the paranoid whispers that Watson lied before and betrayed him and could easily be doing it again now, the guilt over what he's done, the desperation not to be that man again.]

Stop.

[It's more a choked noise than a word.]

[jumpthegun]

[He does, just for a moment, but he doesn't take his eyes off Bucky. Silence stretches between them. John does speak up again after half a minute, expression softening.]

Untie me, please. I think we're done with this, don't you?

[advanced]

[He doesn't move, not to untie him or to make more of an aggressive stance, he's teetering on the edge of both.]

I said I'd get that information.

[It's important for more than just the sensitivity of the information. Tony Stark trusted him with something that personal, trusted him. Not the other Bucky.]

[jumpthegun]

[Dear god does this man have a one-track mind.]

And I've said Mr. Stark can talk to me. I'm sorry, but I'm not telling you that. You can tell him we've talked. Your mission is complete, soldier.

[advanced]

[That's an unfortunate use of words.

His head snaps up, something much more dangerous in them, much more deadly.]

What did you say?

[jumpthegun]

[He's said something wrong. John's silent for a long moment.]

It's finished. You can tell him we've talked. That was what you told him you'd do, right? We've talked. It's done.

[advanced]

[He knows that's true.

However this plays out, it's finished. He's slid backwards and he can't even run again, can't even isolate himself in a foreign country until the paranoid whispers at the back of his head abate. He's stuck here, and it just keeps getting worse. Look at what he's doing now, look at how far he's slipped.

But those whispers are what's keeping him from untying Watson, keeping his suspicion high.]

You said my mission was complete. You called me Soldier.

[He lied again, lied when he said he knew nothing about HYDRA.]

[jumpthegun]

You were a sergeant in the military. Are you saying you weren't a soldier who carried out missions? Isn't that what this is for Mr. Stark?

[advanced]

[Another seed of doubt, Watson is good at planting those, but it's clear he's unconvinced.]

They called me the Soldier, their asset for HYDRA's most important missions.

[jumpthegun]

I didn't know that. I'm sorry. I was speaking to Sergeant Barnes, not the Soldier.

[advanced]

How do I know you're not lying to me again?

[His trust was such a tentative thing at the best of times.]

[jumpthegun]

Because I know you're gonna hurt me if this tips the wrong way between us. Why would I purposefully antagonize you?

[Use common sense, Bucky.]

[advanced]

[Common sense jumped ship a long time back, look at what's happening.

He merely stares at Watson with an unreadable expression, before he moves all of a sudden to be closer once more. But not to attack, he's crouching behind the other man and starting to slowly untie the knots with his one good hand.

He's failed at doing what Stark asked him to do. Failed at being the Bucky that Steve knew. Failed at even keeping to the standard he was before he got here. He feels lost, hopeless, confused. But he can't carry on with this, he can't torture a man for information.]

[jumpthegun]

[John tenses when Bucky moves in close, ready for a blow. When it doesn't come and the other man just crouches to undo his bindings, the doctor's whole body sags in relief as he closes his eyes.

Oh. Thank. Christ.]

We should go to the bathroom to take care of your wounds. [And his own.] Hot water. You're gonna have to help me get there. I don't know how well I can walk.

[advanced]

[Watson is good at this.

He's obviously still trying to make a show of good faith, make sure Bucky trusts him right up until the bindings are fully gone. But he's not an idiot, he knows as soon as he's free then he'll be ready to defend himself.

So he doesn't answer.

He just works silently until both shirts are untied and Watson is free, before standing up and retreating a few steps, body tense.]

[jumpthegun]

[It's done as far as John's concerned. He leans down to grab the umbrella from his pack, both as a weapon, and also as a cane. Cane for now because his leg hurts like hell. It takes him several seconds to get up, leaning heavily on the umbrella.]

Okay. We're going to need my tablet and my pack. Can you pick up my pack? I just... I need a bit without the extra weight.

[He's angry still that this has happened, that he's been partially crippled, that he now has to deal with multiple injuries he wasn't prepared to be dealing with. But he really doesn't want to get into another fight. For as bad off as Bucky is, John's in no position to fight him off.

The doctor balances on one leg as he stoops for his tablet and finally retrieves that. There's a part of him that just wants to get into the bathroom and lock Bucky out, call someone else. This man really doesn't deserve his medical attention after what's happened... but here they are.

John straightens up and starts limping slowly toward the bathroom. He can feel blood running down the back of his leg still, though it's only a trickle with the makeshift tourniquet in place. He glances back in Bucky's direction to make sure the man isn't readying for a lunge, but otherwise carries on. John isn't going to fool himself into thinking this is completely over, but the current battle is finished. There will be a lull, at least.]

[advanced]

[He's... serious?

It throws Bucky completely for a loop, having this carry on even after Watson is free. Why is he offering this aid? He should be attacking, should be running, should be shouting. Bucky did unforgivable things to him, proved himself far from the good man he wants to be, he doesn't deserve this kindness.

But he does pick up the pack and follow him at a short distance, brows furrowed.]

What are you doing?

[His voice is rough, low.]

[jumpthegun]

At the moment? Trying to figure out what I can do with the supplies I have. Have you got a needle and string?

[He knows that's not the question Bucky actually means to ask. But it's the answer he's going to get.

John makes it into the men's bathroom, and grabs hold of the counter top with the sinks to steady himself after setting his tablet down.]

Or the glue? we need to get your shoulder cleaned off. Set my pack down, get a cup or anything else you've got and start washing down your shoulder with it.