[log] clint barton's no good very bad week [closed]

[awwnoun]

Characters: Clint, Steve, Ecks, Natasha and Tony
Location: Building 108
Date: Days 155 and 156
Summary: Clint finally meets Steve face to face after he revives - and also finds Ecks again. Nat and Tony catch up the next day.
Warnings: Will update as necessary!

108: A standard single-story house with a kitchen, living room, dining room, bathroom, and bedroom. The bed in the bedroom is a loft-style bed, giving extra space for the desk beneath it. One of the desk drawers is empty, and the others have countless small plastic cases that look like they could have been SD cards, although there aren't any computer chips in them. These are only plastic shells.

Comments

[redrooms]

[Natasha smiles, sitting down in front of him.]

Sign slowly. I'm rusty.

[She grabs the Russian spy book again, holding it up in front of him.]

Should we see how many terrible inaccuracies there are?

[awwnoun]

[ Right, he got over excited. He casually just scoots closer to her, settling on one page to look through it before remembering something - he practically falls off the couch trying to grab his pack.

When he drags it towards him, he digs through it for a good few moments before pulling out a shitty little friendship bracelet, purple tie-dye. A beat, and then he offers it to her, solemnly. Here. In exchange for the horrible Russian spy smut. ]

[redrooms]

[Natasha raises her eyebrows, taking the bracelet from him and running her fingers over it. It's pretty obviously a friendship bracelet, and for a second, she wonders if anyone has ever actually given her one before. She doesn't think so. It might be tacky and purple and cheap, but it's exactly the type of sentimental, sweet gift Clint would give her. Suddenly, she's overcome with relief at having him back all over again, and she can't help but smile, the expression a little sappy.

It's too small to slip over her hand, so she offers it back to him and then holds out her wrist.]

[awwnoun]

[ He grins a little at her, unhooking the bracelet and putting it on her wrist. He's just glad it fits. And yeah, it's sentimental and sappy and totally dumb, but Clint feels a little better for having given it to her. He really is sorry that he upset her before.

There's a pause, and then Clint very slowly signs for her: Now we're really BFFS - because he's a dumbass. ]

[redrooms]

[Natasha watches him—it takes her a bit to parse out—and then laughs, pulling her wrist back.]

"BFFs." Is that the technical term? And what were we before?

[awwnoun]

[ He grins at her when she laughs, and shrugs, reaching for his tablet. This time he types out what he wants to say, letting the tablet read it out loud once he's finished typing. ]

Yes. And it was just regular best friends before. The bracelet upgrades friendships.

[ He's pleased with himself, anyway. ]

[redrooms]

What did I do to deserve the upgrade? Bring you terrible smut?

[awwnoun]

Yes. That was like a good 100 points, right there.

[redrooms]

[She rolls her eyes, but she's still smiling.]

Shut up and read it. Let's see if your tablet can get a Russian accent right.

[awwnoun]

[ Clint just opens it to a random page. ]

Seductively, the red-haired woman strut across the room, her five inch heels click-clacking across the cold, hard wood. Vladimir sucked in a breath, captivated by her wondrous beauty, and laid back on the bear-skin rug below him, basking in the low, passionate light of the fireplace. It burned small, but hot, white-hot, like the embers that Tatiana, the tantalizing succubus of a spy in front of him, stirred and stoked in his loins.

"Please, ve kan't, Tatiana, what vill everrryone say? You know zat ve kan never be together bekause you arrre spy and I just humble voodkutter!" lamented Vladimir, sprawled out on the rug.

Tatiana pulled her supple, sweet breasts from the - okay, Natasha, I can't, I'm dying

[ Cue Clint just laughing soundlessly, covering his face with his hands. ]

[redrooms]

[Natasha, for her part, tries very, very hard to keep a straight face. It's impossible when it's being read in that Microsoft Sam voice, and by the time he gets to the accent, she's cracking up.]

She does not have red hair. Let me see that.

[She makes a grab for the book.]

[awwnoun]

[ She totally does have red hair! Clint is laughing too hard to keep the book away from her, so she can have it. He signs something, but it's too half-assed to really be properly translated. ]

[redrooms]

[She's still grinning, and she skims the pages for a moment.]

Ah, well, at least she isn't a ballerina.

[She's absolutely poking fun at herself, trying to keep him laughing as long as possible.]

Do you think he'll steal her away from Mother Russia?

[awwnoun]

Probably.

[ He finally gets ahold of himself, nudging her. ] Mr Vlad is probably based on me
I would totally have been a lumberjack if I was born in Russia

[redrooms]

[Natasha shoots him an incredulous look.]

No, you wouldn't. You would still be in a circus, you would just be whining about how cold you are all the time.

[awwnoun]

[ Rude!! Clint makes a face at her. ]

Give me SOME credit
I could totally be a lumberjack
Besides the description is like 'can Vlad save Tatiana from the clutches of Mother Russia' and that's totally what I did

[ The book description is more like Vlad saves Tatiana from the clutches of Mother Russia with his dick' but Clint is being polite here. ]

[redrooms]

[She snorts.]

My hero. Who says I would have even dated you if you were a lumberjack?

[awwnoun]

I do because I would have been twice as hot
I'm terrible in a suit but I can pull off plaid like nobody's business

[redrooms]

You don't look terrible in suits, you just look sloppy. If you actually had one fitted, it would be a different story.

[awwnoun]

You keep telling me that but I don't think it's true
Kate had me in a suit once and I looked like a car salesman

[redrooms]

Kate? Kate Bishop?

[Things Natasha knows about Kate: almost nothing.]

[awwnoun]

Oh
Yeah, I forgot
She and I work together a lot when I'm from. She's also Hawkeye. Kind of better at it than me but if she ever shows up here don't tell her that, I'll never live it down.

[redrooms]

[Natasha smiles.]

And she managed to get you into a suit? She sounds impressive.

[awwnoun]

She is.

[ He kinda misses her. ] She also taught me how to use the weird collar things. Like the ones that keep your collar from getting all

[ And then he stops typing and gestures vaguely to indicated wrinkled. ]

[redrooms]

[She raises her eyebrows, expression incredulous.]

Collar stays? You didn't have any before?