[log] clint barton's no good very bad week [closed]

[awwnoun]

Characters: Clint, Steve, Ecks, Natasha and Tony
Location: Building 108
Date: Days 155 and 156
Summary: Clint finally meets Steve face to face after he revives - and also finds Ecks again. Nat and Tony catch up the next day.
Warnings: Will update as necessary!

108: A standard single-story house with a kitchen, living room, dining room, bathroom, and bedroom. The bed in the bedroom is a loft-style bed, giving extra space for the desk beneath it. One of the desk drawers is empty, and the others have countless small plastic cases that look like they could have been SD cards, although there aren't any computer chips in them. These are only plastic shells.

Comments

[redrooms]

What did I do to deserve the upgrade? Bring you terrible smut?

[awwnoun]

Yes. That was like a good 100 points, right there.

[redrooms]

[She rolls her eyes, but she's still smiling.]

Shut up and read it. Let's see if your tablet can get a Russian accent right.

[awwnoun]

[ Clint just opens it to a random page. ]

Seductively, the red-haired woman strut across the room, her five inch heels click-clacking across the cold, hard wood. Vladimir sucked in a breath, captivated by her wondrous beauty, and laid back on the bear-skin rug below him, basking in the low, passionate light of the fireplace. It burned small, but hot, white-hot, like the embers that Tatiana, the tantalizing succubus of a spy in front of him, stirred and stoked in his loins.

"Please, ve kan't, Tatiana, what vill everrryone say? You know zat ve kan never be together bekause you arrre spy and I just humble voodkutter!" lamented Vladimir, sprawled out on the rug.

Tatiana pulled her supple, sweet breasts from the - okay, Natasha, I can't, I'm dying

[ Cue Clint just laughing soundlessly, covering his face with his hands. ]

[redrooms]

[Natasha, for her part, tries very, very hard to keep a straight face. It's impossible when it's being read in that Microsoft Sam voice, and by the time he gets to the accent, she's cracking up.]

She does not have red hair. Let me see that.

[She makes a grab for the book.]

[awwnoun]

[ She totally does have red hair! Clint is laughing too hard to keep the book away from her, so she can have it. He signs something, but it's too half-assed to really be properly translated. ]

[redrooms]

[She's still grinning, and she skims the pages for a moment.]

Ah, well, at least she isn't a ballerina.

[She's absolutely poking fun at herself, trying to keep him laughing as long as possible.]

Do you think he'll steal her away from Mother Russia?

[awwnoun]

Probably.

[ He finally gets ahold of himself, nudging her. ] Mr Vlad is probably based on me
I would totally have been a lumberjack if I was born in Russia

[redrooms]

[Natasha shoots him an incredulous look.]

No, you wouldn't. You would still be in a circus, you would just be whining about how cold you are all the time.

[awwnoun]

[ Rude!! Clint makes a face at her. ]

Give me SOME credit
I could totally be a lumberjack
Besides the description is like 'can Vlad save Tatiana from the clutches of Mother Russia' and that's totally what I did

[ The book description is more like Vlad saves Tatiana from the clutches of Mother Russia with his dick' but Clint is being polite here. ]

[redrooms]

[She snorts.]

My hero. Who says I would have even dated you if you were a lumberjack?

[awwnoun]

I do because I would have been twice as hot
I'm terrible in a suit but I can pull off plaid like nobody's business

[redrooms]

You don't look terrible in suits, you just look sloppy. If you actually had one fitted, it would be a different story.

[awwnoun]

You keep telling me that but I don't think it's true
Kate had me in a suit once and I looked like a car salesman

[redrooms]

Kate? Kate Bishop?

[Things Natasha knows about Kate: almost nothing.]

[awwnoun]

Oh
Yeah, I forgot
She and I work together a lot when I'm from. She's also Hawkeye. Kind of better at it than me but if she ever shows up here don't tell her that, I'll never live it down.

[redrooms]

[Natasha smiles.]

And she managed to get you into a suit? She sounds impressive.

[awwnoun]

She is.

[ He kinda misses her. ] She also taught me how to use the weird collar things. Like the ones that keep your collar from getting all

[ And then he stops typing and gestures vaguely to indicated wrinkled. ]

[redrooms]

[She raises her eyebrows, expression incredulous.]

Collar stays? You didn't have any before?

[awwnoun]

I never wear suits, Nat, what do I need fancy things like collar stays for?

[ And then he types like four more question marks because he thinks Microsoft Sam saying question mark four times in a row is funny. ]

[redrooms]

So you don't look like a mess.

[She rolls her eyes at the question marks, but she's smiling. She wouldn't have lasted this long as his friend without appreciating dumb humor.]

Tell me about Kate.

[awwnoun]

Kate told me I'm a professional mess and I'm sticking to that
Someone has to do it

[ Does that count as telling her about Kate? Sort of. ] I don't know, she's a badass kid, what do you want me to say
She picks up on stuff real quick

[redrooms]

She sounds important to you. I'm curious.

[Because Nat is curious about everything.]

[awwnoun]

She is
She saved my ass a few times is all. She picked up the costume when I was dead, was like... honoring me, or whatever. I told her she could keep being Hawkeye when I picked it up again because she makes us look good

She's smart and funny and keeps me in line?
So kind of like... mini you

[redrooms]

[Awww, cute. Natasha is smiling again.]

Nurturing our next generation of Avengers, are you?