snowblindrpg | [log] ESCAPE [closed]

Entry tags:

[log] ESCAPE [closed]

Characters: Alphonse and the Joker
Location Building 245
Date: Day 153 - Morning
Summary: The Joker goes insane again, knocks out Al, and escapes
Warnings: Violence

[Of all the things Al expects from the Joker, to feel sorry for him isn't one. It's almost like taking care of a child in some ways, the poor man is so wracked with guilt that he barely seems to care which direction Al chooses to take to travel in. He does his best to make conversation, to keep an eye on him, but he seems pretty docile.

He has no reason to assume this morning will be any different to the others.

He sits up, looks about to make sure all his belongings (and now the Joker's weapons) are still in easy reach, and then for the man himself. He tries to keep his voice cheery.]

Hey-- are you awake? Come on, the doors will be unlocking soon.

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[He feels Al's voice coming to him through a black, dreamless sleep and opens his eyes.

Ah, he is still here.

He sits up groggily from where he's been lying on the floor and looks up at Al with an expression of hopeless defeat.]

Do you ever know where we're going?

Forwards.

[The answer is determined, almost as if in direct rebuttal to the hopelessness of the Joker.]

Maybe I don't know exactly where that is, but we'll never find it if we don't keep looking.

[Joker sits with his shoulders hunched as he examines Alphonse's face. Somehow, he can see hope in that metal visage.

What does hope feel like, he wonders? Even when more cheerfully mad he'd never known that feeling.]

You haven't left me to die in the snow yet. Why?

[He hesitates before coming to sit opposite the Joker. It's strange to have these conversations with him, but Al isn't about to shy away from trying to help while he can.]

Because I don't agree with killing, not anyone. My brother and I made a promise a long time ago that no matter what, no matter the price, we wouldn't take another person's life.

[He spreads one giant hand, fingers splayed.]

A lot of people think that means I'm a pacifist, or that I'm weak, but I'm not. I know sometimes fighting is the right thing to do, and some things are unforgivable. And you-- you've done some truly terrible things, but you're not that man at the moment. How could I punish you for something that wasn't really you? And even if you were that man again, I still wouldn't kill you. I'd just do my best to stop you, and maybe to remind you that you have this person underneath who wants to do better.

[The Joker stares, fascinated by the answer. The kid means what he's saying.]

But I did those things... Horrible things.

[How does anyone mean words like that? He's a monster, one who should be put down. Batman meant those words, which is...rather funny....]

I just....

I can't...

Oh, god, I'll never be able to fix this....

[He buries his face in his hands and tries not to cry in front of Alphonse. It's not easy.... All around him he can still see the faces of the dead, watching from the cold, unforgiving snow of Norfinbury.]

[He reaches out almost tentatively and touches a hand to the Joker's shoulder.]

No, you probably won't.

[He doesn't shy away from it or give meaningless platitudes, he and Ed believe in facing the truth head on even if it's painful.]

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Giving up is just insulting the people you hurt even more, it's selfish. You have to face what you've done and move forwards, make yourself and the world better, that should be what you're focused on. Call it your penance if you want, if it gives you more drive, but never ever give up.

Never give up...

[The Joker does not lift his head.

He should go forward like these hero types do. The rest of his life should be devoted to others. Maybe the blood on his hands can never be cleansed, but the hands can still be used for good....

Yes, he has to stand strong....

Sobs wrack his body.

In the back of his mind he hears screams, screams that have echoed through him his entire life. Most of them belong to victims but some of them are his own.]

I could become a saint and it would not be enough...

[The guilt.

How does anyone live with guilt like this? It's enough to drive a person...insane...

He feels himself fall through his own mind. The reality around him seems to split apart and he tumbles into the darkness, away from those screams and into the welcoming abyss.

At the bottom of the abyss you cannot fall farther. That is comforting.

Gradually, the chocking sobs subside into giggles.]

Me. Me as a Saint, me

[When he lifts his head he feels something snap shut like a steel trap and suddenly the world makes sense again in a delightfully nonsensical way.]

Now that is funny! HahahaHAHAHEHEHOOHOOOHAHA!

[He can't imagine what it must be like to have so much blood on his hands.

He's got guilt himself that will never wash clean, things he's done that he can't atone for, but he's never willingly killed another person. It's absolutely heartbreaking to see a grown man sob like this and, despite all he's done, Al can't help but try and comfort him.

He's got an arm half wound around Joker's shoulders when that crying turns to a laughter which sends shivers down his spine. And he knows something has gone horribly wrong.]

H-Hey! Hey, look at me, focus!

[He shifts backwards, putting himself between Joker and the stack of weapons or things that could be used as weapons.]

I need you to focus on me, don't-- don't let this happen. I know you can fight it.

[The Joker stands and rolls his shoulders, a toothy grin stretching his face as he sees Alphonse scoot backwards.

Fight it? Oh, that is cute.]

Fight it? Fight being myself?

[He stretches as he feels the burdens of the last several days finally fall away. Ah, this is so much better.

Life is easier when you just let go of reason. Someday, the more clever people of the world will figure that out.]

Sanity is so dreadful, isn't it? Sheesh, how do you people deal with it without going nuts?

[His eyes rest on his gear in the corner of the room and as he sinks back to his normal self he idly wonders if he should make a run for his weapons now or toy with this kid a while longer.]

[Damn. Damn. Damn.

He definitely strikes a defensive pose now, weight shifting to a lower centre of gravity and arms coming up ready to fend off an attack or grab him if he tries to make a break for it.]

Maybe having your sanity hurt you, but it's still better than this. I know you don't want to go back to hurting people again. Please, you have to try.

[Joker watches Alphonse and his grin widens.]

What if I do? What if I do want to go back?

[The grin falters, but this time it's all for show.]

Maybe I need help. The sign in the other room said to contact you if I needed help...

Can you help me?

[Despite Al wanting to see the best in people, he's far from an idiot and he's not about to just fall for this hook, line, and sinker.

He keeps his guard well up, though his voice is soft and genuine.]

You know I will.

[No hesitation.]

I told you that I made a promise to protect, remember? That includes everyone. But you have to be willing to try too.

Try...?

I can't....

[He drops to his knees again and buries his face in his hands.]

Hopeless...

[He mumbles it.]

....Hopeless....

[There are no sobs this time but his shoulders hunch forward and he trembles as if trying to sort through something traumatic in his mind.

It's all an act.

He wants to lure Al in closer.]

[It works.

Al doesn't drop his guard, he's wary as he moves forwards, but he does start stepping slowly toward the Joker.]

Hey-- hey, look at me.

[His heart twists in sympathy.]

It's not hopeless, I promise. There's always another way.

[Joker remains curled up until Alphonse is close enough.

Comedy is in the timing.

Once Alphonse is in striking distance, the Joker lurches suddenly into motion and tries to hurl his weight from a crouched position into his opponent's legs.]

[He might be taken off guard and knocked well off balance, but Al is an expert hand to hand fighter and he reacts quickly.

As soon as he feels himself falling, he tries to twist and kick out with one of his legs.]

NO! You have to stop this. I don't want to fight you, but I will if I have to.

[The Joker rolls away from the kick and springs back to his feet with a speed that is unusual for a man his age.

He scrambles away from Alphonse.

Away from Alphonse and towards his weapons.]

[He dives for the weapons at the same time.

Off balance, he gets there a half second behind the Joker, grabbing not for the weapons but for the Joker himself. He's going to try and pin him under the full bulk of his armour.]

[Joker manages to wrap his hand around the haft of the fireplace poker just as Alphonse barrels into him and he topples under the weight.]

GET OFF!

No!

[He wriggles to try and get the Joker fully underneath him, aiming to sit on him to keep him prone.]

If you're not going to try, that doesn't mean I'm just going to let you go. I'll keep you with me so you can't hurt anyone else.

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[log] ESCAPE [closed]

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cw: suicidal ideations

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cw: suicidal ideations

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