snowblindrpg | [log] MINGLE BELLS, MINGLE BELLS [open]

Don't laugh, you butt!!

[ Except wait. Laughing is good, right? Sort of? Despite the discomfort it seems to cause? At least he's lucid and not, like. Dying.

Oh god what if he's dying. ]

It looks... pretty bad. Help me get your coat off so I can assess it better? I don't wanna touch it until I know you'll be alright when it gets removed - I mean, can - can you handle some blood loss right now?

[ Because, you know. HALF CORPSE. THIS IS THE WORST!! ]

[ HE COULD TOTALLY BE DYING!! ]

[ But he's not. Probably. ]

Uhh. Probably? [ Look he doesn't have a medical degree or anything. ] I've been eating and all, it just fucking hurts. [ a small pause, because he sort of expects she's not gonna buy that without a proper explanation. sigh. ] ...that kinda kept me from sleeping.

[ HAHA, ]

[ he'll just get on unwrapping and unbuttoning those layers now ]

[ Welp. She gives him an odd little look that's somewhere between exasperated and fond, and slides her bag over while he deals with his whole. Clothing situation. ]

I was gonna trade these to Alfie, but - um, if I have bandit STDs then condoms aren't gonna make me un-have them, I guess. When the extraction is complete, I'll give you one pill. You're gonna take half. There won't be a repeat of last time and nobody will embarrass themselves. Agreed?

[ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ]

[ I MEAN. She holds up one of her two remaining vicodin pills. It's so beautiful. Look upon it and weep. ]

[ Listen he may be able to undo the closures but he can't really un-tangle his poor coat off the crystals by himself. A little help here? ]

[ He'll just channel his annoyance into something less serious. ]

Bandit STDs, are you fucking kidding me? I can hear that, you know! I'm not some goddamn STD-ridden fleabag, dammit!

[ Anyway, it looks like his arm did get the worst of it. There's some smattering of tiny crystals on his side and chest as well, but his shoulder and upper left arm actually have a couple formations that are over two inches long. Anomalygel must have gone for a side-hug and stopped just in time not to cause some more deadly damage. ]

[ he's sort of looking at the pills as if they're God, but he's also having some serious doubts it exists. well, it's something of a no-brainer at this point. he needs to fucking rest somehow. ]

...fine.

Are - are you saying that the man who told you that I'd make your wang explode also lied about you being a living generator for self-replicating bandit-specific diseases? Sounds fake, but okay.

[ She has to be very careful to avoid touching any of the crystals by accident, but she eventually manages to help him free of his coat. Okay, this is by far the worst case she's seen so far. And it's a heck of a lot of eridium. Is she going to be able to absorb that much without any ill effects? It's obviously far less than she was using back home, but it's a lot more than the little rocks Lilith had been taking in, too.

HUhrhgrhg. ]

...Iunno how you've coped with this, honestly. I'm sorry. Um, do you just - do you want it gone right now? You know - to get it over with? It's gonna hurt, but apparently the relief afterwards is worth it.

[ Plus then he can have the sweet, sweet vicodin. ]

Shocking, I know -- self-replicating? How the fuck does that even -- you know what, I don't care. How the fuck can someone dead still be ruining people's sex lives? That's gotta be a special talent.

[ He probably feels her hesitation, however, because while he opens his mouth to say "Sure", instead he pauses. ]

Well, can you handle that? 'Cause, you know, I've had it this long, I can make do some more.

You mean trying to ruin. 'Cause - you know, he didn't. Actually stop us. Thankfully.

[ OH NO. The display of concern earns Squalo a soft little look, because that offer is touching as fuck. It's enough to give a lady a severe case of the dokis, gosh.

But now sort of isn't the best time for getting all misty-eyed, since there's a job to be done, and so she carefully reaches out and brushes her hand over the smattering of crystals on his cheek. Those are tiny enough for her to absorb without any danger to either of them, so. Why not?

She briefly glows purple - very briefly, for like half a second - and blinks a couple of times before fixing him with that adoring little look again. Okay maybe SOME dokis are acceptable LET HER LIVE ]

Oh my god you're so effing sweet sometimes. Um. I'll be fine, I think! I mean, it definitely isn't enough to kill me, I was on a way higher amount back home, so. I'm cool with taking it all at once if you are? If it makes me pass out or something, just yell for Rhys. Or Beckett. Orrrr just roll me into a corner and use my sweater to staunch your bleeding.

Well, no, not in the end.

[ It sure almost failed a few times before that, though. ]

[ Enjoy it while it lasts, Angel. Squalo sort of stares when she fucking glows, like what the fuck is even that, and then his cheek fucking stings. The holes aren't big enough to bleed properly or anything, it's more like an average scrape that hurts more than it harms. He still marks it with a pointed huff. ]

Alright, if you say so, but I definitely want something better than a sweater between me and deathly blood loss. [ He motions toward his bag with his good hand. ] I should have some bandages in there.

[ The glow is a ~*~*SIREN THING*~*~, of course. GEEZ!!! ]

Okay, cool. I have extra if the bleeding gets really nasty, but they've kinda been used and washed a few times over? So, um, yeah. Let's use yours.

[ She pulls his bag towards her and fishes out the bandages - thankfully without coming across any squelchy containers of Junpei blood in the process - and arranges them within reach so she can start bandaging as soon as possible once the eridium is removed. She does grab something from her own bag too, though. It's, uh, a stick, and she offers it to Squalo. ]

In case it hurts enough that you have to bite down on something. I kinda assume you'd prefer that to holding my hand.

[ Delicate manly sensibilities and all that. ]

Okay. Here goes.

[ And with only the tiniest of apprehensive pauses, she lays her hands on his hecked-up arm. She starts to glow again, brighter this time, to the point where her features are almost entirely obscured by the intense violet light. This isn't the mild buzz she got from removing Rhys' eridium deposits - she can feel the stuff coiling its way through her veins and shuddering its way into her organs and suddenly this seems like a stupendously bad idea but it's too late and she can't stop and she can taste blood and ozone at the back of her throat and --

And then it's done. The residual glow from her eyes makes it look like they're smoking, and she sits frozen with her hands raised slightly above Squalo's ruined arm. ]

Oh.

Whoa.

[ She. Doesn't seem to be in too much of a hurry to start bandaging. Even though Squalo is now bleeding profusely. 10/10 A+++++ best notgirlfriend ever. ]

Edited 2018-12-16 22:53 (UTC)

[ OH! OF COURSE IT'S *~*A SIREN THING~*~!! ]

[ Squalo gives her a dirty look, because how dare she assume a little bit of pain is going to make him bite his tongue or whatever!! How rude. Also thoughtful, honestly, and if he could re-do this moment in his life, he would definitely stick that stick in his mouth. ]

[ He doesn't, however, because he doesn't expect the thing to be quite as painful. There's going to be LOUD SCREAMING that probably everyone in the fucking bunker can hear, but at least it doesn't last long. Maybe it's just surprise! Totally. ]

[ It kind of makes him miss most of that glowy cool thing, but maybe that's from the best. He still stares a bit at her eyes, sort of hacking and hissing and just trying his best to keep fucking breathing. His arm was gonna rot and fall off wasn't it. ]

...you're fucking high as balls.

[ He says that sort of angrily, with pauses in between as he tries to clutch his now very hole-y arm, then breaks into a laugh instead. It may be slightly hysterical at this point, but he does think it's funny. It's just probably not the best time to be amused right now. ]

What? No 'm not.

[ Hahahaha yes she is. Her pupils are like fucking pinpricks, which only makes the glowy irises more apparent, and she stares at Squalo's bloody arm with extreme interest. Like, wow. That's really red. Why has she never appreciated how very red fresh blood is before?

It takes a few seconds for her to remember that blood is bad, and that she needs to start bandaging. Oops. ]

I'm in full control of my faculties! Someone who was high wouldn't even be able to say-- oh, that - oh. You should take your vicodin. For the thingy. The pain? And also because you are stupid cute when you're high, which is still a thing that I am not. Hey, why is "high as balls" even a term, anyway? It isn't as though they're especially high up?

[ She's being surprisingly efficient with the bandaging, even making sure to pack the deeper wounds with extra material before wrapping them. The process isn't as gentle as it would be if she were sober, though. Chattering away like an idiot is kind of distracting. As is the vague sense of euphoria. And the way that touching anything kind of makes it feel like there's popping candy under her skin. Neat. ]

Unless you're really small, I guess. Smaller than me. Minute. God, I - do you know how lame it is to be small when everyone around you is a freaking - a really tall - when everyone else has so much leg??

[ Oh, good call. He'll just. Take those pills and fucking swallow them, then cough dryly as he scrambles to pour some water down on it to make it go down easier. ]

[ That just takes him long enough for Angel to arrive at the unquestionably philosophical analysis of balls, and he sort of stares back at her, because for all the times he's generously used various genitals-including expressions, he's never given it much thought and now that she mentions it -- ]

...I have no fucking idea. Hey. Hey. Shouldn't disinfectant go first?

[ He'll shove that first aid kit (guess he was right to pick it up after all) toward her, but at least it looks like she's not out of it enough to pose danger in negligence. The wrapping seems to be going fine and he relaxes a bit - well, as much as possible while IN THIS MUCH FUCKING PAIN. ]

"Lame" isn't the only word you can use? Try "cute".

[ you sweet talker you ]

Oh, it... yeah, maybe the disinfectant should... shoot. Um, shit. Fuck. Shitty fucking fuck.

[ Gotta correct that self-censoring as thoroughly as possible, right? Her gaze kind of wobbles back and forth between Squalo and the first aid kit a few times, and it starts to look dangerously like she's about to unwrap everything and start over. Sure, that'd be painful and bloody, but it'd also be clean??

But she doesn't, and instead retrieves the disinfectant and starts applying it to thewounds she hasn't dressed yet. See, she's making sensible decisions! NOT HIGH!! ]

Cute is good, I suppose. I mean, I do like being cute. Sometimes. It kinda sucks when people don't - they don't take me seriously because if it? They're all - all - ooh, she's so small and sweet, she's never done anything bad in her life, - and it's the worst! But I don't mind you thinking I'm cute, because you don't do that. It's great. You're great.

[ She has disinfected the same wound three times while chattering away. Three. Times. ]

[ It's reasonable, when you're not considering the possibility of those already dressed wounds getting infected, but maybe they'll be lucky. It's not like he rolled around in the dirt and those crystals seemed... clean? However that stuff worked. ]

[ To be fair, she does talk similarly when she's not high, but that could just be the Vicodin talking. Either way, Squalo drops that particular topic at the moment. Hell, if they're both high, it's almost romantic? In a really fucked up kind of way. Sharing needles would probably be next on the list and the only person he's on that level of comfort with is Xanxus. Just in case you wondered if it could be any worse. ]

Fair. My definition of "cute" probably differs from the usual, if that helps? Hey, the cutest kid I know is also known as The Ripper, so. Yeah.

[ but why share memories of family when he's being worshipped? ]

I'm definitely great.

[ That's a bit offtopic at this point but hey. Probably missing that triple pat down of the hurty spot, thanks Vicodin and all that. ]

[ Angel pauses for another few spaced-out seconds as she tries to process the idea of Squalo finding a kid cute. Like, how weird is that. Even she doesn't tend to think kids are cute. WHAT IS THIS.

~~Squalo confirmed for being the one to have to carry babby Sephiroth around in a papoose.~~ ]

Huh! So does - do they do much ripping? Presumably in the murdery way? Because, I mean, my immediate response is to feel like that'd be incredibly inefficient. But also I suppose it's not all about efficiency in banditr-- in your line of work, is it? You have to consider - um - aesthetics, I suppose, and think about what you're trying to say with your murders and... stuff? Hey, wow, do you ever just. Realise how comfortable being inside your own skin is? All snug and. Yeah.

[ HIGH. AS. BALLS. At least she's moved on to bandaging that thrice-sterilised wound now instead of going in for a fourth round, though. WHEE. ]

'Nd you are great. Also a dick. But that's also pretty great? Feels like home. You get - you've got the balance right. Not like most people who hit on me. No offense to them. Except House. Eff House.

[ Well, said kid has his smile and is really good at murder, so is that really surprising. Also Squalo would not approve of these plans to make him a househusband tbh. ]

[ ~~But he'd probably do that. Just because Angel might not be able to lift a babby with those noodle arms ayyy.~~ ]

Lots. More than the amount of contracts he gets, that's for sure. It's kind of a pain, actually. I gotta make sure it gets covered up and shit. But brat's got style. He's so good with knives he can stop bullets in mid-air just by throwing that. Don't tell him I said that but that's fucking cool.

[ SO HIGH. Wow, Angel, just wow. ]

Now that you mention it, yeah. It's like it was made for you.

[ probably just taking the piss. maybe. ]

D'you want me to kill him?

[ Offered perfectly suddenly and in casual tone, because that's how mafia gentlemen treat their ladies. Kneecap every bastard that looks at them funny and dump them in the bottom of the river, right? ]

Oh, that is cool! And really impressive. And cool. Did I say that alre-- wait, why do you have to cover it up? Can't you just. Just, like, kill anybody who objects? It might be kinda murder-intensive to start with, but people would learn to stop complaining really fast.

[ Because people bitching is obviously the only consequence that can come from random acts of murder. Police? Laws? Justice systems? SOUNDS FAKE BUT OK ]

Haha, I get i-- oh, awwwww!

[ THE GOOGOO EYES ARE BACK. She's so touched! Never let it be said that Angel doesn't have the proper appreciation for offers of murder. ]

You don't have to do that! 'S been a while since he was really gross to me, and I'm pretty sure he only did it to piss off Jack. And to be a douche. So it's not worth - he's - geez, you can be so freaking sweet sometimes.

[ She'd swoon, but she's too busy trying to tie a knot to secure the bandages and her fingers don't seem to be working properly. Tricksy little fuckers. ]

We're supposed to be a secret organization. Can't just wipe entire towns off the map. I mean, we totally could. But we shouldn't. There are some laws we gotta follow.

[ Or they... used to have to follow. Now that the Vendice will be busy elsewhere, chances are the mafia world can fall into as much hideous chaos as they want, but Squalo's not aware of that just yet. ]

[ omg yes. she knows JUST how to appreciate murder offers! even if it's a shame she doesn't send him on a House-hunt. but hey. there are better things to do with his time. ]

[ ayyyyyyy his arm might be fucked but his cock still works ]

[ i mean ]

Well, y'know, if it happens again or you change your mind, just let me know.

[ #BestBoyfriend ]

[ this conversation is also probably taking place where literally anyone could overhear but NO FUCKS ARE GIVEN ]

UghghhghHHHHhhhhh, laws. So lame. When you guys get - when interstellar travel becomes a thing for you guys, you have to just hop on a shuttle to one of the border worlds and grab it fr yourselves. Because eff th-- fuck the laws! Fuck the man!!

[ It's good that she's basically done with the bandaging, because she tosses the remains of the bandages into the air to emphasise her point. SMASH THE SYSTEM!! ]

And I will. I mean, it's probably not going to happen again anyway, but it's always nice to know that - that murder is an option? Not now, though. I mean, you should really rest up before doing anything strenuous. Rest is very important. And sleep. You're probably not gonna want to join the sleep pile when night falls, huh? So I'll make sure you get my pillow. And a blanket. Maybe two blankets. Do you - d'you think you'll need two?

[ F U S S ]

I know! Damn, you're making it sound real tempting.

[ But -- he totally would. As long as he could take his family with him. He's sure they would be very much delighted about a lawless all you can murder haven. Xanxus probably would, too. He could really be the boss -- hell, he could be king. Of a motherfucking planet. They'll raze villages and -- ]

[ Okay, okay, Earth calling Squalo. ]

[ He's just. Going to sort of sigh dreamily a bit and listen to Angel speak, and as she does, he's just. Smirking wider and wider. You're walking right into this one -- ]

Definitely. Especially if you join me.

[ wink wonk ]

It's not me that's making it sound tempting, it'd just be - it - it'd be so cool. I mean. You wouldn't have any trouble taking over, I think? Because bandits are dumb. Not you. Bandity bandits. The ones I'm not supposed to call cannon-fodder even though they really kinda are.

[ SHE KNOWS SQUALO GETS THAT. She still whispers the last bit, though. It's fine for anyone listening in to hear all the House-murder-chat, but no one can know that Handsome Dad successfully managed to dehumanise the majority of a planet in Angel's eyes. Shhh. Shhhhh.

Not that she's really all that concerned, though. Because the dreamy sigh and the smirking and sWOON~ ♥ ]

'Course I'll join you. I'm not gonna make you sleep by yourself, that's just mean.

But we can't do it because people will be around and I don't thiiiiiink you have enough blood left inside you anyway.

[ anGEL, ]

For real. Yeah, they kinda sound like trash. [ Squalo apparently has no problems about dehumanizing an entire planet. Scum are scum, etc. He makes a thoughtful noise. ] Non-bandity bandits is a goddamn mouthful, maybe you should come up with something else.

[ Not that it's not sort of fun in this Wild West cosplay way to be called a bandit, but he'd rather not be associated with those guys. He only smears entrails on his face in very specific circumstances!! ]

Good --

[ THE FLATTEST OF FLAT LOOKS ]

[ she's not wrong, though. ]

I've got fingers, you know. [ SMOOTH ] I could still pass out, though. You might have a point.

[ somehow he doesn't sound too disappointed ]

[ wow Angel you may have climbed up from the ho rank into someone whose company he actually enjoys! ]

[ or he's having newfound sex allergies due to the Angelnomaly Experience, who knows ]

Well. Alfie uses "gangsters," but that just. It sounds silly, right? Like, it's just - it's a silly word. Gangsters.

[ Silly. Unlike using "bandits" as the blanket term for people who aren't corporate scum. GEEZ. ]

And, um - yes, I, uh, know you do. Very nice fingers. But rest! And convalescence! And healing. You have to do all those things before you do me. I'm way down on the list. Old news. Below things like "sleep" and "take painkillers." I gave you those, right?

[ YEAH, ANGEL. YEAH. ]

You know, maybe I am a little squiffy. Not - not high, just a touch off.

[ YEAH. ]

I wouldn't use the word 'silly'.

[ Actually, now that she mentions it, it's kind of funny? But not in a bad way. Huh. Mobster definitely sounds better at least. ]

[ He watches her as she babbles on, but at least he's not protesting. Mostly because he's so damn ready to lose consciousness, but keeps holding on out of pure stubbornness. And also because he's been promised pillows and blankets and warm company. ]

[ Oh, now she admits it. ]

Really? I didn't notice.

[ YOU FUCK YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOLD HER... ]

I would! But maybe I shouldn't. Are you offended? Because - 'cause I have nothing but respect for your profession, dude. Promise. Even if it's a silly word or - or, y'know, just falling under the bandit umbrella.

[ She's very serious. And very concerned that Squalo might think she's taking the piss. SHE WOULD NEVER. ]

And - shoot. Really? Then it's worse than I thought, because - I thought you said, before...? Oh, geez. Um.

[ WORRY WORRY. ]

Well. If I start doing or saying stupid things, will you stop me? Like I looked after you when you took too much vicodin? I don't wanna embarrass myself, so. So. I can trust you with that, right?

[ RIGHT

RIGHT, TOTALLY SOBER NOTBOYFRIEND ]

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