snowblindrpg | [network] @theiceman; Audio, Night 363 [open] [cw cannibalism, gore]

[It's very tempting but seems like others are taking care of that already. Flynn doesn't know how to feel about it. He'd be lying if he said he didn't have a few finger puns lined up himself but that's also exactly why he didn't want to tell Peter what happened to him down in the cells. This tendency to deal with the horrors by making fun of them.]

Well, I wouldn't be if somebody ate my finger. I'm already having trouble sleeping as it is.

[It's enough for him to acquiesce, a little.]

Yes, well. Some of us have stronger consititutions than others.

[Which didn't include himself, apparently.]

But why, though? What purpose would it have to even a creature with lesser intelligence? What would be the point of eating a finger and nothing else? Why not go for the whole hand?

Clearly.

[Wow. You really want to talk about this, don't you, Mycroft.]

I'm not sure there was any rational thinking behind what was going on. More like the contrary.

... Would you feel better if they had eaten your entire hand?

[Yes.]

Even if it was pure irrational reason, a finger seems oddly specific, don't you think?

No. I would not.

[Well. It's not like Flynn hasn't wondered about the why himself. Back where he's holed up for the night he briefly touches the arm that used to be covered in bite marks.

He's also very glad nobody ate his finger. He still has very vivid (fake) memories of his own getting severed in his (fake) adventures with Sherlock and this conversation is a very painful reminder of that.]

Did you ever do something involving a finger?

[God, did that come out wrong.]

I mean, can you think of any reason why... why they might go for that.

[Mr. Carsen, really.]

During the...incident in the tower awhile back...my nails were...well. Perhaps this was some kind of sick continuation of that.

[Look, he is trying his best.]

Maybe that's the connection, if there is one. I had my--

What happened to me felt very personal.

[Now you've captured his interest.]

Interesting. There might be a pattern here. When you say personal, can you identify the people who attacked you?

[Great. Maybe he should have gone with the finger puns.]

No. Everything is a blur, I don't remember their faces. It's what they did to me that felt personal.

Which is why I'm glad I don't remember who did it.

Can you narrow it down to several suspects? Based on what they did to you.

I suppose I could. But I'm not interested in doing that.

I'm a little surprised you are.

Are you afraid of knowledge, Mr. Carsen?

[Are you afraid of knowledge, Mr. Carsen?

It's times like these Flynn wishes he hadn't lost his ability to read people. Ever since he got here it's been like he lost a sense, stumbling through this town half-blind. But something in Mycroft's question strikes at the core of his being and his pride, prods him to try anyway.]

Quite the contrary, Mr. Holmes. I believe it's you who is getting sidetracked by these sentiments because they are precisely what I'm trying to avoid in order to keep a clear head while navigating a traumatic experience.

You asked me about the point of the finger biting so you do seem to wonder about the purpose. But overall? You're asking about the who, not the why. You're making it personal, emotional. Which is fine, it's just not... what I expected of you. Knowing who did it would definitely sidetrack me, make me lose sight of the bigger picture. Maybe it sidetracks you.

You're making it about yourself, your individual injury, which, given your inclination for egomania isn't that surprising. But our little exchange right now has provided us more input than your prodding at people who clearly can't remember a thing. All of this is ample proof that you are looking in the wrong place.

We need the pattern, not the culprit.

[Well.

Honestly, Mycroft wasn't expecting all this, and it's decidedly familiar.

And decidedly annoying.

His voice is nothing but ice.

Just who do you think you are?]

Sentiment?

Mr. Carsen, you're projecting your own fears and sentiment upon the situation. I'm not bothered by who it might or might not be, knowledge of who it is will not affect my analysis of the situation. It's clearly bothering you.

I will, however, acquiesce that the pattern is of course, just as important. Obviously.

Yes, sentiment, Mr. Holmes. Everything you do is sentiment. Even when it goes with, quite frankly, terrible morals.

[Flynn closes his eyes. What did he use to do when trying to read people? He can't even remember at this point, it was just a thing he did, like you don't actively do anything when you decide to see. Now it feels like pulling teeth. But Mycroft's reaction suggests that maybe he's on the right track this time.]

All your actions are guided by emotion. It's to protect your brother, or to feel superior to us mere mortals [please do note the slightly unnecessary stress on feel here] or to avoid the unknown.

This inquisition here? You're doing that because having your finger eaten sucks. And it's scary and enraging. And I know that because I'm scared and enraged.

Yes, it's bothering me. I'm not scared to admit that. [Unlike you, but deduce that for yourself.] Of course it is bothering me, why would it not bother me?

You know what your problem is? You think emotion and intelligence are incompatible. You act like feeling something might literally make you dumber. If that were true, your intelligence would be quite vulnerable, don't you think?

[Yes, sentiment, Mr. Holmes. Everything you do is sentiment. Even when it goes with, quite frankly, terrible morals.

Could you possibly offend him any more, Mr. Carsen? Mycroft's outright scowling now.

Because Flynn's right. He hit it right on the mark, even if he refuses to let himself admit how much emotion guides his actions.

You know what your problem is? You think emotion and intelligence are incompatible. You act like feeling something might literally make you dumber. If that were true, your intelligence would be quite vulnerable, don't you think?]

Mr. Carsen, you may...think you have a...proper grasp on things, but you're completely off the mark.

Emotion clouds intelligence. Emotion causes people to do terrible things, make snap decisions with faulty reasoning--ever see someone in the throes of fight or flight? Tell me, how much are they thinking and how much of that is their lizard brain desperately trying to preserve themselves?

...unlike everyone else, I can move past, yes, whatever temporary emotions I may have been suffering in the moment. Everyone else, including you, is projecting their own fears onto a perfectly logical inquiry.

You think your analysis makes you sound so...intelligent. It's a good try. But any student who's read their first psychology book could have come up with that. It's amusing, really.

Edited 2018-06-06 06:03 (UTC)

[Emotion causes people to do terrible things, make snap decisions with faulty reasoning. Unlike everyone else, I can...

Flynn just stares at the message for the longest time.

And then he laughs, out loud. Emphasis on loud. Sorry, he can't help it at this point, the cognitive dissonance is just so outrageous.]

Mr. Holmes, ever since my arrival I have yet to see one instance where you move past whatever temporary emotions you are suffering in the moment. Shall we go through them? Because by all means, enlighten the student.

[That last bit does sting, however, and despite himself Flynn can feel himself trying to reach out again, to reconnect with that part that should give him answers. It digs at an insecurity that's been eating at him since the day he got here. That maybe he didn't just lose his ability to read people but his knowledge, his intelligence, too.]

[Why are you laughing? That's a ridiculous laugh. Stop laughing.]

Then I shall be happy to prove you wrong, because my suffering has always been tempered by the bastion and refuge of logic. First of all, we will have to throw out anything that is the result of immediate acute stress response by the actions of this town--or to be more specific about some of the criteria, the actions of my brother that resulted in further actions of this town.

As you must well know [Another dig--] the amygdala, triggering a neural response in the hypothalamus, is far faster than conscious thought in the face of stimuli, and therefore must be ruled out in your conditions of 'moving past whatever temporary emotions you are suffering in the moment.'

Considering that...well, everything we've been through since you've arrived has involved stressors that involve the fight or flight response, I cannot be held responsible for the initial reaction. But clearly, as I stand proverbially before you now, I have moved on from these particular problems, including when my brother switched bodies.

[No, he has not moved on from that and likely never will.]

[Stop being so tragically funny then.]

Alright, so you're saying what I've been seeing were merely the onset responses. Interesting but okay, I let it count.

What were your actions after these initial reactions then? Have you talked to people? Apologized for your actions?

[There's a long pause.]

...why should I? There's nothing to apologize for.

[So there.]

So you are not responsible for what you did under duress and stress but seek out those who acted under the influence of the city?

[What's the British term for hypocrite?]

What's the problem, are you scared to talk it through?

Am I not allowed to be angry over what happened to my finger? Regardless of what I did under duress, it's very possible and likely that those acting under the influence of the city had some kind of predisposition to either disliking me, or cannibalism, or both.

[Also he's better and smarter than everyone else, didn't you know?]

There's no problem.

So you are angry.

[That's good, we're getting somewhere here! Let it all out, Mycroft.]

Are you angry that they might have a predisposition to disliking you? Are you scared they might try again?

[network] @theiceman; Audio, Night 363 [open] [cw cannibalism, gore]

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