[log] In which two idiots pick a fight with their shadows that are each other [closed]

[heroproceeding]

Characters: Lancer (croi) and Zack (heroproceeding)
Location: Building 35 in Square E06
Date: Backdated to Day 26, Night because there's nothing like a belated hallucination party!!
Summary: Thundersnow blah blah blah hallucinations suck blah blah blah good chances a fight's gonna break out blah blah blah their lives suck.
Warnings: Fighting, cursing, being jackasses to each other without meaning to be and all that other nonsense. FUN TIMES. FUN. ...TIMES.... sob

At first, he'd been okay. Really. Bored, certainly. But he had also been tired from all the traveling. Well... All the traveling and the strain of unease from seeing all those bodies in the morgue. That hadn't been a pleasant investigation, that. He hadn't been there long, but he had certainly been there long enough, matching up names to bodies. No one he had known personally. But plenty of evidence that if they weren't careful, they would all end up stone cold in that morgue. Though why the administrator allowed some to live while others to die, he hadn't an idea.

All he could perhaps attribute to it was that they either hadn't made it to them in time... or it had been allowed. Another sacrifice for the cause... At least that had been his primary concern at first. But it hadn't lasted. Not when he'd gotten in contact with one of the last people he had expected to ever hear from again. Someone he had immediately agreed to locate as soon as he could and he was thankful Lancer was more than willing to go with him. If it hadn't been for the weather...

But no matter how long they waited for things to die down, the wind only continued to howl, the odd thunder forever booming. The house protested with creaks and sighs that more than half the time made it sound like it would give at any moment. But even by evening, it still held its ground to the progressively nastier weather. By then, had they looked, they would have seen that the snow had gotten to the point where it was covering the view from the windows.

But... by then, Zack hadn't been looking anymore. By then, he'd quit his squatting routine, stopped with the push-ups and planks and every other move he could think of to keep himself active to stay warm and unfocused on the fact that he felt so trapped. Now, he was in the living room leaning tightly in a corner in good view of all entrances but yet not eyeing them at all as he dug his fingers into the fabric of the coat he always wore, tighter and tighter...

Comments

[croi]

He'd left his shit in the other room - normally at this point he'd be pestering someone with stupid comments over the network to kill time. And yet he just didn't feel like it. It was the sort of night in which he could go outside...desperately, but the weather. The snow was everywhere and the thunder grumbled. (It muttered in a way which was almost familiar, like back when he was a kid.)

He sat, crouched, loose on the balls of his feet before rolling up to his toes and-

"Hey." Louder than he had anticipated. "You hear that?"

It was like whispering, almost.

[heroproceeding]

Zack had been in the middle of a staring contest with nothing when he'd thought he'd heard something- no, someone. Blinking, his eyes fell on Lancer on the other side of the room. What had he said? Something about...? Something... He strained to listen, but after a moment, he started to shake his head.

Stopped abruptly- wait.

There was some kind of... humming? He continued to listen only to jolt at the sudden boom of thunder. But the humming didn't cease, slowly gradually growing in volume. Enough to make him push off from the wall with feet planted firm and ready for... something. He wasn't sure what. Sharp almost-glowing eyes glimpsed around the room, but nothing was out of place... or was that really true? It definitely felt like something was... off. Like it was getting darker... "...I don't like this."

[croi]

He didn't move. He stilled to Zack's sudden movement, like he was a beast which sensed something; if he had a tail it would've stopped moving, ears would flick back, mouth widen into something closer to a feral grin filled with fangs. As he was a man, the closest he managed was a slightly anticipatory grimace which hid the fact that he really didn't like this. Humming? More like whispering. And a familiar tug on his body.

He found himself flexing his fingers to make sure they were all still there. "They found us."

[heroproceeding]

As soon as those words left Lancer's lips, multiple clicks of trained and cocked rifles suddenly drummed in his ears and Zack jolted in the direction he'd thought he'd heard them with a back step, but- no. No, there was nothing. Nothing at all. He had to have been hearing things... Had to have been... But that humming didn't dare to stop. And the thunder that rattled the house now... Was that really thunder? It sounded more like the pounding of at least a dozen or so boots on rough terrain. The logical side of him should have been screaming thunder. That was just thunder.

But his pulsing heart screamed move and he did so. "The kitchen!" While whispered, his voice still carried a sharpness. An order as he started for it. The kitchen was smaller and could bottleneck them- could force close quarters and that was exactly what they needed.

[croi]

"No," he said - preoccupied, almost. It was time. He had a good run. It was almost enough to make him laugh if he wasn't half-expecting his tongue to dissolve in a puff of prana and the rest of him following after. Instead, he just snorted, flexing both of his hands (was everything still there?) and feeling the ground with his feet. What was left of them. "You get in there, barricade the door, don't open it no matter what you hear."

And he was prepared to shove Zack inside and close the door, shove furniture if it would get him to stay put.

[heroproceeding]

"What the hell are you talking about? We need to move!" The words he whispered with a hiss as he glared Lancer's way. Not just him. Both of them. Don't give him that 'I'll say behind and die while you go on' bullshit. That didn't fly with him and it showed as much when reached to grab for Lancer's arm instead. He wasn't going to take 'No' for an answer. It was both of them or neither. Never mind the way his vision seemed to swim a moment while the clatter of steps grew louder, the hum reaching higher and higher in scale...

If this was a TV show this would be the point in which a thousand bad fanfics were birthed.

[croi]

"It's not safe," Lancer said, and then at the arm grab (and he still had an arm: surprising) twisted to-...he'd punch, but then if the moment came Zack would need all of his wits to run (and the logical part of him asked to where, but there was no point in logic because he was there, out there) or fight he couldn't do it if he had a broken nose, a headache, or was just knocked out entirely.

"I'm not safe," he repeated, louder. "He's here! Get in there before he comes for you, idiot." And then was the most awkward of one armed shoves as Lancer tried very hard to pull his arm away.

AH-HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD, IT WOULD BE. ALL THE SENSUAL LANCER/ZACK. Zancer? Lanck?

[heroproceeding]

Zack was experiencing some kind of resistance, so the shove was only met with a tighter grip. It didn't stop the way he stumbled back uncharacteristically. His SOLDIER strength expectantly made him easier to push around and Lancer was a seasoned fighter like he, himself. But Zack was also stubborn.

"What are you talking about, he? Lancer, you don't know any of them!" He knew Lancer wasn't one of them, wasn't part of the army following him- right? Yes, that was right! They'd been through too much that he would just turn around and betray him now, lured that monster away in the school. He wouldn't! ...Right? Why was he saying he wasn't safe all of a sudden? He'd once threatened that he might have to kill him if Zack found out too much, but...

Damn it, they didn't have time for this! "Let's go!" And there was Zack, yanking him instead. Trying desperately to get the stubborn fool into the kitchen while the footsteps seemed like they were just outside the door at the far wall...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJFpFOWfv4Q

[croi]

He made an angry noise at the yank, though his eyes widened at the fact that he stumbled - both for the fact that he stumbled as well as the fact that he had legs to stumble upon still (didn't his right foot vanish? isn't it gone? it felt gone.) - forward. Almost fell forward because of the lack of feeling to catch what was left of him, like he was a bunch of atoms that threatened to scatter in a puff if something too hard hit him.

"They?" Who the hell was they. "I don't know everyone who's here, but I can feel my Master's here, and if he-" Zack was right. They didn't have time for this. A shake of his head and he inclined his head towards the kitchen. "Let's go." He sta- slumped towards it. Odds were pretty good he wouldn't last long enough to do a thing anyway, the way he was scattering apart. Weak. He was weak. And the bastards couldn't even give him back his spear at the very least. (Then again, given how things ended the second time that was probably for the best.)

AH-HAHAHAHAHA WHHHHY

[heroproceeding]

The admission to being pulled along was all the invitation Zack needed to follow through with what he'd meant to do in the first place just seconds ago. He didn't let go of Lancer, dragging the other man along in case he decided to do something stupid like tear off at the last moment and slam the door behind him or whatever --Master? What in all of Gaia was-- but he hadn't exactly planned for the slumping.

His eyes darted back at Lancer while he backstepped, arm automatically sweeping to curl around the other man almost instinctively to support him. "Hey, come on!" What was wrong with him? Zack had to wonder as he tried to get him to do likewise around his own shoulder. It wasn't the first time he'd had to help someone out like this through enemy terri--

The rat-ta-tat of gunfire made him dive for the floor all of a sudden and good chances Lancer was going to join him unless he somehow managed to pull away in the process of.

Seemed legit.

[croi]

He didn't, but Zack did get a fist for his trouble.

...it wasn't a deliberate hit. If one were to describe the action, it was less 'and that was when Lancer punched him in a smooth deliberate action' and more akin to 'and that was when Lancer's limbs flailed and a hand happened to reflexively flail in Zack's direction and as they were heading downward in the first place it basically hit him.' Sorry. Not sorry.

If this was a different point - a different time, a different place with a different situation - this would be the point in which he'd apologize. It wasn't. It was actually confusing, what with the whisper, the tug, the fact Lancer could just feel him out there, he half-expected the radio to crackle to life and he was offered an opportunity to linger. Still. Dirty survival tricks kept him intact. (Because clearly there was no other reason why he needed prana but was still there.) Kind of.

Well, I cannot deny. I suppose.

[heroproceeding]

In a different time, in a different place with a different situation, Zack would have known that hadn't been deliberate. That they had clearly been on the way to the ground and Lancer had clearly been off balance and messed up in the first place. But already, Zack's vision had been a hazy mess. The landing all but jostled the rest of it into a blur of adrenaline, of fight or flight and that fist did neither of them any favors.

No, that fist got a pronounced yell out of him in turn as he suddenly twisted his body in the direction of where it had come from with a sudden backwards elbowing to boot. Because no, no way in hell was he just gonna take things laying down! Didn't matter if there were five troops or five dozen that had finally tracked him down. He was going to get out of that mess. He was going to make it out alive.

[croi]

And he heard, in a deep voice with a slight rolling laugh, "Kill him, Lancer." He was ordered. He obeyed.

He took the backwards elbowing with a grunt and lunged, his hands grasping for a spear which just wasn't there. (Where was Gae Bolg? Everything else returned.) So instead he tried to break some ribs. His fists would do. There was a chair over there, one which he probably would try for but he probably wouldn't succeed at reaching.

[heroproceeding]

It was that lunge that became Zack's saving grace. He didn't have the time to stop Lancer's fists, but he had time to block them so that that his arms got the brunt of the hits instead. His breath caught as he felt what he was certain would be later bruises on his arms from that connect, but he didn't hesitate to try and grab at one of Lancer's arms while he was still in reach.

Hell no, they weren't getting a hold of that chair! He was gonna get to it first if he could help it! If he even got lucky, he'd be trying to pull him close and knee him as the rest of his body twisted to face his attacker now.

[croi]

Hey, guess what grabbing someone's arm and pulling them in close to knee them (which fucking hurt, you son of a bitch, he could feel it bruise and- well, it would be fixed soon enough assuming his Master was so inclined to do so) also puts that aforementioned someone in position for? An attempted headbutt!

(And his grasping fingers from his free arm managed to knock the chair...backwards, putting it further out of reach.)

[heroproceeding]

SON OF A FUCKING FLY EYE THAT FUCKING HURT.

This was Zack, dazed and aching to all fuckshit. But he was pretty sure he wasn't the only one that felt that one ow, ow, ow...

Yeah, okay. A little bit stunned from that still and also just... what in the hell was going on with his vision now? First, sickly green. Then- ...still kinda green but more of that kind of ugly, polluted yellow? Seriously, what was happening? That humming was back now, stronger, and-- were those pods outta the corner of his eye? ...what?

[croi]

Damn straight it did.

...to both of them. He was going to stagger to his feet, because his Master had ordered him and he'd obey. He was going to immediately regret that, stagger back down to his knees, and the combination of the knee and the headbutt caused him to heave up what was inside of him - not much. Dog biscuits, honey, some jerky.

And he said, to a rich mocking baritone that he could only hear, one which was laughing, "Don't call me a dog!" Shit. He was back at the church, wasn't he. Yeah. And at least this time he could maybe get in a fight before he died again.

[heroproceeding]

He was totally going to lay there and take that sound of disgusting vomitting with a smirk of pride. Except he was now trying to keep the own contents of his stomach down. Gaia, that smelled, ugh.

He at least resisted (although spoilers: barely) and ended up fighting to his own feet. Which was more to a kneel and just that. But that was really all he needed. Because, excuse me, just going to try and-- WHAT.

Cat-slit. Eyes.

'What?' This time, he mouthed it dumbly.

[croi]

What do you mean what. He'd say as much, but the effort of talking seemed...dangerous given recent events. Instead, he gestured. Broadly and angrily (which was almost a mistake in itself) in the direction of the priest who was very clearly standing over there, a gesture that said, what, didn't you hear what that asshole said? That asshole over there.

Okay. No. He's a hero. He can talk. He can breathe.

"Wh-" No. Mrmph. Taking a second to stop before he went in for a second round of vomiting. (Because that smelled disgusting.)

[heroproceeding]

This was the part where Zack was totally and utterly going to wreck the man's face in front of him because that sick and twisted smirk on his face after all he had done was infuriating and yet also made him just as panicked because seriously. He was his superior and comrade in arms (friend might be pushing it!? Wait, why was he pointing? Was he trying to taunt him about Tifa and her dad or trying to prove further point again with the pods or something? WHAT A DICK EITHER WAY.).

...But then he gracelessly just. Freaking. Vomited. At the foot of his boots.

You know what was suddenly a great idea in form of retaliation? Emptying his own stomach. So much for that gaiadamned resistance. UGH. THIS IS NOT A PUKING CONTEST, DAMN IT.

[croi]

Shit. Just. He's going to give the growing piles of vomit a look, give the priest a stare, try to stagger to his feet, nearly fall back down (and then probably land in the partially digested dog biscuits if he had - shut up, priest) and then stagger backwards a little. And then a little more. And then he slumped again in what he tried to make some kind of battle ready stance but was more like...a slump. Because his head hurt. And his chest hurt. And the place smelled.

"Look, use a command seal if the smell bothers you that much." Even the priest was affected. It was nice knowing the bastard had some problems with some things. And it was nice knowing the kid, Emiya, had gotten better with putting up a fight.

/THROWS YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE REASONS

[heroproceeding]

...

Okay, what in the hell was the former general prattling on about? A command spell? There was that smirk again, too. Maybe it was some other twisted joke. Something Zack only hedged came from one of those old tombs that gave him the heebie jeebies when he'd gone down in that dungeon of a library to check on him before he'd gone nuts.

"I'll- give you- command spell!" ...And almost hurled again through that shout. Hell. Gulping back that acid was not fun- and probably not a good idea. But there he went, slowly dragging himself back to his own feet, too. "Still can't believe- someone like you would-" Ugh, no. No more talking. Talking bad idea.

How about lunging forward? Lunging forward works! Trying for a fist to the face for real this time!

I don't know what you're talking about.

[croi]

Go ahead and try, because guess who's landed near the chair. He grabbed it.

He didn't quite raise it in time to knock Zack back, only parry the blow and simultaneously render the chair useless as it splintered and broke. (Apparently, it was bought from the closest equivalent Norfinbury had to Ikea.) The chair back landed, with a slight squish in one puddle of vomit. The seat shattered.

Which left Lancer holding one chair leg. Which he threw at Zack as he went in for the long awaited face punch.

YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

[heroproceeding]

We salute you, Ikea chair! Or rather Lancer might while Zack might be raising a finger in its general direction instead. Or at least he would if that were really his thing and if he wasn't so busy trying to duck out of the way of that thrown chair leg.

Fortunately, he succeeded. Unfortunately, he wasn't quite ready for that backup fist that came flying with. Zack swore harshly as it connected to his face, sending him sprawling back and landing right back to square one. Yep, right back on his ass. So much for progress! Nursing that likely nasty bruise would have to come later though. Right then, he decided to go for something new. Namely pushing off the ground but rather than moving to get up again, he went for a sweeping kick. TAKE THAT, ASSHOLE. HE HOPES YOU LAND FACE FIRST IN VOMIT.

[croi]

...there was a squish.

If he hadn't been command sealed to kick Emiya's ass this would be the point in which it became deeply, deeply personal anyway and he would do everything he could to kick his ass.

"Now you're going to die." He spluttered. We'll leave the subject of if his mouth was open or closed when he landed unanswered.