[log] Decoherence [open]

[snowblindmods]

Characters: anyone
Location: In Norfinbury, and yet not.
Date: At all times, and yet not.
Summary: What you remember isn't what happened, probably. A place to play out situations that happened in the test drives or elsewhere. Things that happened and didn't happen.
Warnings: general horror warnings; please include more specific warnings in subject lines as necessary!

Comments

[devoutish]

Kill me.

[His voice is dull. He knows he won't.]

[bywolves]

I can't. [ Royce says, frowning. He crouches next to Alfie, tapping the syringe. ] That'd waste all the hard work I've put into you. I want you to succeed, Alfie. I want you to be like the rest of us, but you can't get there without a little pain.

[devoutish]

Royce.

[His ruined hands twitch again, flexing into each other where they're sewn together.]

I want you to know--

[bywolves]

[ He flicks the syringe again, and then shifts aside Alfie's clothing so he can try to find a place to use it. ]

Yeah?

[devoutish]

[It would be pretty difficult for Alfie to resist at this point, given the state he's in, and he doesn't even try.]

Not your fault. You remember that.

[bywolves]

[ It's a pain reliever, the liquid in the syringe. Royce administers it, just instinctively knowing how to do it, and then pulls it away, watching Alfie for a moment. ]

You'll be better. [ Royce tells him. He pats Alfie on the arm. ] You'll get through this and be even better than you were before. Just like before. Both of us, together.

[devoutish]

Remember.

[He insists, hands twitching more violently.]

I wanna hear you say you'll remember. I know this isn't you; tell me you'll remember that.

[bywolves]

It is me. [ Royce sighs, watching Alfie with a frown. ] It's alright. This will end soon.

[ He reaches down, petting at Alfie's arm. ] Do you see, yet? I'm trying to help you see.

[devoutish]

[He closes his eyes tightly. He doesn't want to look at Royce like this.]

[bywolves]

[ It hurts Royce to see Alfie like this - in a lot of different ways, ones he doesn't even know how to approach. ]

It's alright. [ Royce says, faltering. He almost feels like he can't breathe, like something inside him is struggling. ] I...

[devoutish]

[He's quiet as the pain ebbs. It feels odd, and uneven. In a way, it had been easier to deal with all this when the physical pain matched the emotional, distracting him from it rather than leaving him alone with it.]

My beard.

[There's no mirror in here, so he can't see all of what Royce has done to him, but he'd felt it. He can imagine the prophet's symbol littered all over his face, his neck, his bald head.]

[bywolves]

Had to get rid of it. It was in the way. [ Royce says, but he's less firm than he was before. ] You can't have connections like that. Not when you're serving the Prophet.

[devoutish]

Royce.

[There's a pleading note to his voice that he hates, not because it's weakness - he has no problem showing weakness in front of Royce - but because he knows how hopeless it is. He's never going to be able to convince him of anything now. Not while he's like this.]

[bywolves]

[ There's another hesitant pause, Royce swallowing hard as he stares down at Alfie. He looks wrong, without the beard, the hair. He understands what he did, when he shaved it. It was necessary. Royce breathes in shakily, and stands up. ]

Rest, for now. Think. I'll be back later to check on your progress. I'll be with you every step of the way.

[devoutish]

[Alfie doesn't respond; doesn't look at him. He just breathes, shakily, his cheek pressed against the thin pillow on the cot.]

[bywolves]

[ Royce pauses, and then very carefully reaches to pet Alfie's shoulder, before turning and fleeing. He doesn't like how this feels. Things were very cut and dry, black and white, but now... now he has some things to think about. ]