@w.graham; night 299 - video [ Let reports of questionable life choices continue! ]

[ex_this_ismydesign36]

[OOC - CW: Mention of self harm]

[ Good evening fellow snobos, it would appear that the reports of questionable life choices continues to roll in; Rhys started a trend.

It is another video, coming from the user name w.graham and featuring that same gentleman. It’s hard to tell if he looks worse than before, because he tended to look terrible in general. What is different is he looks a bit more exasperated than he had the last time.

As he takes a breath to start speaking, the voice of one Gregory House, comes across first, calling from somewhere off screen. ]

Don't forget to call them snowhellions! And remember it's Hotstud first! Then Graham Cracker.

[ Will just sighs and rubs his hand over his face, before he gets started. ]



Good evening.

House and I have a couple of new discoveries we've been tracking over the past week or two and inspired by Rhys, we thought we'd share...

First things first! If you change something in a place, freaking tell me. I maintain the building guide and map, people. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not psychic. You move crap, paint new symbols, or smash in symbols tell me. And get before and after pics. I don't need a conversation. Neither of us wants a conversation, just where, what, and pics or it didn't happen!

[ Will pauses for a moment, his eyes casting towards the direction the voice is speaking, and he’ll inquire, with polite sarcasm. ]

Done? [ There is a pause and a slight narrowing of his eyes, before he remarks in a flat tone. ] As a doctor you know that’s a physical impossibility.

[ A pause, an eyebrow lift -the rude gestures were getting more creative here- and Will shook his head and turned back to the camera. ]

I’ve been told to keep this short, so here goes. We also discovered in building 217 that a combination of blood and fire will result in instant cult membership. [ Here Will rolled up his sleeve, exposing his forearm, complete with healing laceration and the prophet eye burned into the skin above where he’d sliced himself open.

After giving the audience a good view he lowered his arm and took a breath, only to be interrupted again. ]

Don't let Graham Cracker sell you on the platinum membership, folks. The fees include your first-born child, two pints of blood, and a patch of skin. And that doesn't even get you access to the topless lounge. But if you're really in for it, just drip some blood, light a little fire, and you’re good to go. Matching brands and everything.

Did you want to do this? Because I can turn this camera around and... yeah, that’s what I thought.

In building 213 we tried a little tyger, tyger burning bright at night. For those of you who have just arrived, that is the building where Winter died. Apparently if you set the walls on fire, it makes them scream. Like a woman, or a child and the screaming only lets up once the fire wanes.

I think we should light a fire somewhere else. Test this more thoroughly; we’d need a lot more wood though.

Or some bodies.

And this is why people don't wanna be friends with you, Graham Cracker.

Okay back to what matters. Woman or child makes me think Winter or Sam, take your pick. Also the knives stuck in there still won't come out but I couldn't taste anything interesting on 'em.

We do have record of the screaming, if anyone wants to listen for themselves.

Finally the pool in building 216 is a bust. We cracked open the eyes at the bottom, I tried to get a read on the scene, but came up blank, and Mr. Oral fixation over here tried tasting the paint, nothing.

About the only evidence we could nail down was that the symbols look like they were all done around the same time, at least, and same color, but no way to tell if it was more than one person.

[ House's disembodied voice is still coming from somewhere off screen as he takes the wrap-up. ]

Anyone else wanna share? Already tracking the magic brigade over at the high school so we can skip that.

[OOC: House is all comments in blue
Will is all comments in purple
Responses will come from both of them! Assume House is audio only, unless otherwise noted in the comment header! ]

Comments

[harlequinofhate]

I'm saying shut up a tick, I have need to clarify somethin'.

[ex_this_ismydesign36]

By all means?

[harlequinofhate]

House isn't psychic?

[ex_this_ismydesign36]

That's what he claims at least, though I wouldn't expect someone to advertise the fact.

That would just be silly.

[harlequinofhate]

He told me he was, I'd hate to think he was lying to me. That'd be rude.

[ex_this_ismydesign36]

[ Will chuckled softly. ]

Let's cut the shit. Which is more rude; the fact that he's doing these experiments without you? Or the fact that you're not the one here to help inflict the pain?

[harlequinofhate]

It's rude that he lied about being psychic!

[ex_this_ismydesign36]

It's rude that you're insulting my intelligence by pretending to be an idiot.

[harlequinofhate]

Oh, I'm sorry.

Howzabout this:

[He clears his throat]

"I'm angry because blah blah woof woof jealousy or some such. So angry that I'm gonna cave the skulls of the next five people I meet. Daddy has to vent."

There.

Is that the response you're looking for?

[ex_this_ismydesign36]

[ Again he had to chuckle. ]

Well, it's at least less pedestrian than 'wah wah, he lied to me about being a thing I don't even believe in but I'm being theatrical'

With jazz hands at that last bit or perhaps an over the top smile.

If you're going to be a loony tune, try to pick something that's not in the basic 101 textbooks. There's a note here saying you're dangerous. Do try to live up to billing at least.

[harlequinofhate]

Of being dangerous?

You kill folks for a lark and people label you this and that.

Once you get to know me I'm actually very nice.

[rubikscomplex]

Nice enough to forgive me my trespasses?

[harlequinofhate]

I dunno...

Say "please".

[rubikscomplex]

[Will will see House tense and narrow his eyes at the back of the tablet from where he's propped himself up against one wall in the room.]

Well, we both know that's not happening.

[harlequinofhate]

Say "pretty please".

[rubikscomplex]

With a cherry on top, right?

[He probably shouldn't have stepped in and just let Will keep going.]

Sorry, watching my sugar intake these days. That much saccharine bullshit is bad for my diabetes.

[ex_this_ismydesign36]

[ He saw the tension. After all these days traveling together, not to mention bleeding and other bad life choices together, he can see the tension. ]

Oh good grief you two are textbook.

[harlequinofhate]

I think he just insulted us, House!

Hit him for me.

cw: mention of skinning

[rubikscomplex]

I skinned him a little earlier. Does that count?

[Only a little for the experiment. And Will skinned him back, but...]

[harlequinofhate]

NO, HOUSE, IT DOES NOT!

[rubikscomplex]

[Will will see House tense again at that shout.]

Too, bad. So sad. Put on your big clown pants and deal.

[harlequinofhate]

Geeze, fine, I'll kill the two of you later.

Do I have to do everything?

[rubikscomplex]

[Well, hell. His eyes flick up to Will and there's a momentary spark of terror before House manages to shove that down.]

I thought killing me was getting old. You've played that joke out too many times, bro.

[harlequinofhate]

I dunno, there is something to be said for a running gag...

[rubikscomplex]

Uh huh... you're okay with Holmes thinking you'r his pet assassin, too, after this? 'Cause you're basically doing his bidding, even if it's your bidding.

[He's going to attempt to backpedal this to some degree. Mostly because Will isn't supposed to be looped into this particular game.]