snowblindrpg | [network] @Enoch; voice; Day 279 [open] [cw: torture talk, child death, murder/suicide]

Entry tags:

[network] @Enoch; voice; Day 279 [open] [cw: torture talk, child death, murder/suicide]

[The events of the tower have weighed heavily on those involved, of that, there was never any doubt. For Enoch, it was doubtlessly the deepest blow the town has ever dealt against him. He is certainly stronger than he was in the days immediately following, but his recovery is a slow one, for the things that hurt him most are things he cannot affect. His mind returns to it often, whenever it's quiet, and it's been too quiet of late.

At least this allows it to wander where it hadn't before. Tonight, rather than the victims among them, his mind turns to the people who had came before. Specifically...]

I keep thinking of them lately. The parent and child in the house where all this began for us, near the school, I want to say. They barricaded themselves in with everything they owned, and then-...

[He trails off, thick-voiced, unwilling to recount it directly.]

There was a note written in blood, apologizing for the mess, saying it was the only way to prevent them from being "taken". I wondered what could be so terrible killing one's own child would be a better alternative. [A wet breath, ending on a sniff.] ...I suppose we know now, don't we? Without any room for doubt...

[A long silence, heavy with tears just held back, for those who had hurt, those who he hurt, those who had been made to hurt; and those who had come before. Those poor people. How must it have been to watch the entire town crumble, the sick and dying on one end and the cultists tearing people apart on the other? How must it have been, when the conversion tower was operating at its peak?

Did the native converts give their prisoners access to the town's network in their cells, too? Did the rest of town have to watch, too?]

...Someone closer than me, please tell them we understand. Tell them they avoided calamity. If the child is anchored by resentment, I- well, we cannot tell them that is wrong. But please tell them both we understand now. I think they need to hear it. We didn't know anything when we found them.

((ooc: the house in question is building 89 in residential zone 2, yes he misremembered its location.))

Text:

[Some time later, Enoch replies to his own entry with a text message.]

I apologize. It is here: [he links to this conversation, having forgotten how to embed links in a sentence.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[It takes Rhys a while to answer, after listening to Enoch's heavy words and pain over the story he's shared.

It's part of the reason why Rhys is grateful that he doesn't have his powers here. He's pretty sure that it would kill him, even more quickly and surely than this town already is. Death leaves scars on a place, violence and despair wears deep into the fabric like stains that never come out. Feeling that every day would be just as much torture as anything they did to him with a scalpel.

When he finally speaks, it's quiet, but sympathetic.]

I'm not exactly sure where the place is, but if it's anywhere near where I'm going...I can perform a funeral rite and blessing, to try and move the spirits on.

[He might not be able to perform a full exorcism without his powers, but the power of the normal rituals of his faith are always there.]

[It probably won't do anything, he knows this. Nobody has reported any moving on - Rhys might get a reward for trying, but the spirits will probably remain. Even if he knows it's not likely to help them the way they want, the offer relieves him just the same. Maybe, just maybe...this time...]

Thank you, they deserve to move on as much as any of the others trapped here. I could look for it on the map...

[Except he's examining all the brief descriptions written in around the school and...nothing?

Until he looks in a much more suitable place for it, closer to the industrial zone where all this was happening. Whoops.]

Ah-...I was wrong, incredibly so, about its location. It's along the eastern snow wall of the residential area, north of the entrance to the tunnels that lead to the museum.

[It might not do anything, but honestly, Rhys would do it even if there was no promise of reward. It's his job as clergy, even if he's a church of one, and it's something that might make both him and Enoch feel a little better.

Comforts are small in this place, he'll take them wherever they can make them.]

...that's actually really close to me. I'm just coming out of the tunnels, heading toward the grocery store, if I can find it. I'm going to have to stop for a night or two anyway, so I'd be happy to do it? It would be a pagan ritual but it's still...a really nice ceremony. I did weddings, birth blessings, and funerals back home. Never got any complaints.

[He chuckles quietly, a bit self-deprecatingly.]

I'm still learning my way around here.

[Pagan as a word to describe religions outside a certain sphere is old, but not old enough Enoch would know it. His closest guess is closer to its etymological roots: simple or rustic.]

I don't think they would need anything special. Knowing that someone wants to help them is more than they expect, I think, considering...well, the nature of their deaths. I don't doubt for a moment guilt anchors the poor child's parent to this world.

[He's not far off: Rhys is religious in the oldest way, in spiritual tune with the earth and the forces of nature. That's where all his power comes from, and that's where he expects his spirit to go when he finally shuffles off this mortal coil. Assuming he doesn't get too much further tangled up with the other Powers of his world, but even then...they're just renting, not buying.

It's complicated and simple at the same time, oddly. But here, it's very basic.]

That's what I'm hoping. Anything that moves on the ones that are confused, hurting and stuck...that's what matters. It's just a matter of reaching them, letting them know that it's over, that they can go.

I'll, uh, try and record it, if you like.

If you think that would be best - I don't doubt your sincerity. I can hear it in your voice.

[He's considerably calmed by the promise of help. He can't ease the pain of those he harmed in the tower, but maybe he can help set in motion some healing for the poor souls trapped here.]

I'd be happy to. This should...

I mean. There's not much we can do here most of the time. Ceremonies are as much for the living as they are for the dead so I'd be happy to tape it for you.

I rarely found much comfort in them, but then-...no, this isn't a last farewell with nothing more to it. It's not the same at all. Exorcisms are-

[He lets out a little sigh as he talks himself out of the circular thought that threatened to break into a downward spiral.]

-yes. Thank you. Are trapped souls common where you come from?

[Because he had spoken of it in the same breath as a funeral rite.]

Ritual is an important part of life, I think. We mark important things, recognize them with rites, and then we can let them go.

[He chuckles quietly.] We're weird, I guess. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But I think in this case, they need to know it's okay to go. This whole place is a mess.

[He huffs in a deep breath, and leans back.]

Most people don't run into a lot of hauntings, because the majority of souls move on by themselves, but I can sense them naturally, so yeah. I see them a lot. They know I can see them, so they either try to get my attention for help, or attack me because they know that I can get rid of them.

...it can be a tough job.

Ah- you're sensitive to them. It's good that you've decided to try to help them - though it would be difficult to refuse one reaching out to you. The spirits I see almost never consciously want to move on. Many don't believe they should. Some don't think they can. Almost always, they're stayed by something left to do, or something to protect. Or...or mired by the same sorts of things that stay our hands when alive. Pain, sorrow, fear...

[He pauses. He's rambling. Should he go on? Yes, if it makes him think about something that hasn't been clawing at his brain for days...]

...though, the ones that don't move on by their own hands are few that I've met. Most were bound by another. A Fallen Angel I knew kept the souls of deceased lovers at his side, so they could stay with him and the Nephilim they bore with him forever.

Wow. That's...terrifying.

[He hesitates, feeling the moth tattooed on his ribs as though its wings were made of flaked ice. Rain on the windows, a queen in skulls and black feathers. A little too close to home, but at least Rhys chose his bargain.]

...maybe. I wonder what kind of gods would be in a place like this, honestly. What kind of Powers.

Normally, I can sense that sort of thing. The fact that I can't, here, with my abilities gone...I don't know. It's like being in the dark and wondering what's there, you know?

What kind of thing would you worship in a place like this. Because even back home, there was some stuff that sane people...just didn't think about if they were smart.

[He's been trying very hard not to think about it, actually. But maybe it needs to be discussed.]

...They were the lucky ones, all things considered. I could send them on to their proper resting place.

[He falls silent, his mind revisiting a thought it hasn't toyed with here for months.]

Perhaps it's fortunate our souls seem firmly anchored to our bodies here, even in death. Whatever rules here seems neither kind nor forgiving.

[Rhys goes silent, processing that.]

yeah. I mean. It's incredibly wrong to be bound to your body, to not be able to move on, but if there's nowhere to move on, then...I guess coming back is the better option. Considering how much worse it could be, at least if you get shoved back into your body, it's...something like the way it's supposed to be. There's some protection, some...

Hell. I don't know. It all seems wrong, but it's the least fucked up of the possible options.

[He doesn't like any of it, having seen more atrocities against human spirits than he likes to talk about, but at least getting to keep hold of your own soul is something.]

[He makes a quiet noise of assent. Clearly they've both seen some abuse of human souls, and there isn't much he can say that the other doesn't already know.]

Better we remain aware than...than the spirits who have lost track of reality. We've had possessions here before. The original residents, even inhabiting our living bodies, did not see this world as it is.

[Oh, Rhys does not like the sound of that.]

None of my powers are working here, as far as I know. The things I'm seeing and sensing seem to be things that everyone can see, these spirits showing themselves openly. So I can do the rituals, but my normal abilities aren't behind them.

Did you manage to exorcise the possessions before? Or did they have to run their course?

They ran their course. The hosts weren't harmed, and I don't believe the spirits were, either. The only time any of their activity changed was...ah-

...When we found a recording of the moment of one of their deaths. The house belonging to that spirit suddenly began to feel...well, empty, no matter how many people were inside.

[Except these spirits, they stood watch over their own skeletons for years. It couldn't be as simple for them.]

I still don't understand exactly how this place works. It seems like there's this weird mix of technology and... Something else, that makes it close to what I'm familiar with, but just different enough to throw me off.

It's... Not fun.

[It's confusing and irritating and even a little terrifying, and makes Rhys feel constantly off-balance.]

But I'm happy to try. Even without magic, proper human rites should mean something, you know? Even if it's just comforting symbols.

We know they respond to us. That's enough for us to show them the compassion they need.

[The mysteries can be unraveled in time. The truths, those can be acted on right now, even if the reason they exist isn't clear yet.]

Yeah. And I think that's the important thing. Not what it gets us, but that it buys them a little peace.

I'll let you know when I get there, and I'll record the ritual, if it lets me. I have everything I need, and anything else I can improvise, I think.

So...probably in a day or so, I'll have something?

[Oh, he's that close?]

That's wonderful, I can't thank you enough. I don't know why these spirits came to mind, but if we can bring closure to anyone this cult harmed...

[Maybe, just maybe, it will stop hurting quite so much.]

No problem. To be honest, it's good to feel like I can do something meaningful here.

[There's a faint smile in his voice. Not that this is a happy matter, but...his job brings him contentment. That's something.]

I'll let you know as soon as I can. And, uh, by the way, in case I forgot, I'm Rhys. Ink Rhys, apparently, is the nickname that's stuck.

Ah... For all the tattoos?

[He remembers those. ...From seeing them in the cell when he paced the entire way, even if they never actually spoke. They kind of stand out, even if he hates thinking of his time as a convert.]

Yeah, for the tattoos. Easy way to tell us apart, so I figure it works.

[The other Rhys does have tattoos, it's just that this Rhys has a lot more of them.]

[Yeah, they don't really compare in that department.]

Do they have some significance for you? That is- most do, but...

[If he doesn't want to talk about them for any reason, that's an out right there, is what he's getting at.]

Protective magic, some of them.

[He pauses. Enoch has been good to him, so he can share a little more than that.]

And some of them are memorials. People I've lost, things I've done and places I've been. Kind of a life map, you know? Blood and ink is pretty powerful magic.

I'm afraid I wouldn't know. My world doesn't exactly have magic as such...

[There are blessings, but innate power in humans doesn't extend beyond sensing the supernatural without outside help.]

But leaving traces of your life on your body, that I do know. It's good, to have reminders. To never forget your mistakes or your triumphs. I don't think I could manage something like that; I'd run out of skin eventually.

[Rhys has to chuckle at that.]

I'm almost out of room myself, and it hasn't been that long, not really.

But...

I think in a way, it's a sort of penance, too.

I survived, I lived through this, so it's going to cost me a little bit of blood. A little bit of flesh. That's the price for surviving, you know? This is what makes it balance out, at least a little.

[He shakes his head, then gives a small, brittle laugh.]

...it's probably easier to just get a t-shirt, if you can.

The price for surviving...

[Yeah, that...that gets him. He can relate all too well, because:]

When I think of survival coming with a price, it...usually means someone else didn't.

[And that's part of why, for his very human she if 33 years, Rhys feels so very old, at times.]

Yeah. I've...left a lot of people behind, in one way or another. And a few crashes with Fate myself that didn't go so much in my favor. I'm still standing, though. That's what I keep telling myself, y'know?

[Does he ever know how that feels. Immortality among mortals inevitably means loss, and plenty of it. He nods along, speaking with the same grave weight. He gets it, he does, more than he ever wanted to.]

Keep going. That's all you can tell yourself, sometimes. You're still here. You can keep going.

Yeah.

[He goes quiet for a long few seconds, then adds,]

I keep thinking of what she would have said to all this. That helps. I have an angel on my leg...the Temperance card. Balance, healing, moving on. Because I know that's what she would have wanted for me. I'm not good at it, but...we lost enough when we lost her.

It... [His voice is soft, in respect for the lost and the left behind.] It sounds like she was good for you. A good memory to keep in your heart.

[Rhys's response is just as soft.]

She was the kind of person that... The world was just a better place for having had her. Even if it was way too short a time.

...sorry. it was only a couple of years ago. I'm still getting over it.

I understand all too well. Would you like to talk about her?

[Because for every point where he refuses or neglects to practice self-care, he is quick to offer support for others to do so.]

It's. Still kind of hard.

[It's amazing just how sad you can be and still smile.]

She was an artist, like me. A really brilliant one. She did a lot of Mexican folk art, especially. Sugar skulls. Her name was Soledad, but I called her Sunny, and it stuck. That was what she was like, really. She just...lit up a room, when she smiled. You met her and there was something peaceful about her, just something...

I don't know. It's hard to find the right words for it.

[He wants to say sacred. He worshipped her.

And she died on their kitchen floor because of someone who wanted her light all for himself.]

I know the sort of effect you're talking about. The kind of person that can make life seem better for anyone...

[He's met people like that, in all his years. He may have been someone like that for someone. He hopes not. It's a terrible thing to lose, and they would lose him.]

I'm sorry you lost her.

Yeah. I was lucky to have her as long as I did, but...it's still hard, sometimes.

[There will never be enough justice for the way she died, but Rhys has done everything he could to set things right. There is literally nothing more he can do, so he just have to move on, and let it be enough.]

Thank you. And, uh. Thanks for listening. Considering you don't even know me, I appreciate it a lot.

Listening is all anyone can do sometimes, especially here. I hope it was helpful in some way.

I...I never introduced myself in return. My name is Enoch.

[Not that the username didn't make that one fairly obvious, but. A lot of people seem to not recognize it as a name. Maybe it's highly uncommon now.]

It was. It's strange, after everything I never really talked about it. It kinda became this big, taboo thing that no one ever mentioned, and then I moved away and I didn't have anyone in my life to talk about it to.

[Isolation has been a big part of the past four years of Rhys's life.]

Enoch. Huh. Okay. Yeah. It's nice to meet you. And hopefully I can return the favor by doing something good here, and laying some old worries to rest for you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[network] @Enoch; voice; Day 279 [open] [cw: torture talk, child death, murder/suicide]

@hexappeal, voice - cw: references to torture

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject