[network] @ASolomons; audio, morning of 265 [open]

[devoutish]

The fuck is going on?

[He sounds exhausted, as per usual, and his voice is hoarse and raw - he's been doing a lot of non-stop talking these past few days, trying to keep Royce engaged.]

Right - the lot of you, sound off. What happened, and what needs to be done?

Comments

private

[mrcreamsicles]

[Davesprite doesn't begrudge him the wait. It's a difficult subject to say the absolute least, and he took enough in getting back that it's only fair to leave him the time he needs. Perhaps not in the kind of compassion he would lend a friend, but in a selfish way it lends him another break, too. He doesn't like talking about it. Thinking about it is unavoidable; that little, condensed self-realization sits there perfectly uncomfortable for a good portion of the wait.]

[He's not even surprised at the answer he does eventually get.]

ok
i didnt expect you to
and i dont really want to explain anyway

[But he's not really done speaking, either. His thoughts gnaw at themselves.]

but i guess
i do want to say
that this doesnt mean i like or trust you
i want to keep my distance
because seeing your or hearing your voice would just put me back in that place
so ill take the apology for

[God, there he goes again. For being fucked up by it? He is, but that's the part he hates, even as much as he's been glad earlier that he's not the only one. And that's the frustrating part: too often it feels like his thoughts can't just settle down and pick one way to feel.]

for stuff
whatever
im dealing with it my own way

private (cw: suicidal ideation/depression)

[equal_shots]

[How can I help? doesn't get spoken. He could help by ceasing to exist, by not encroaching upon the freshly-scarred wounds on Davesprite's fragile self--and the only way he is able to truly do this would be to no longer be.

He is not unwilling to oblige, however...]

If there is anything else I am able to do, please let me know. Otherwise, I will do everything in my power to leave you be.

I am so, so sorry.

private

[mrcreamsicles]

for now
honestly
just give me space
if something comes up later when shit is more behind us ill point you at it
promise

[He doesn't want it to be bad forever, despite everything standing in its way. It's just too raw here and now.]

private

[equal_shots]

You have my word that I will do whatever I can.

private

[mrcreamsicles]

[A part of him wants to say thanks, but it just feels too uncomfortable after everything that's happened.]

yeah
ill talk to you sometime later i guess
just dont beat yourself up about things in the meanwhile
ive just gotta deal with my side of it too