[log] Noisy Black, Part One [closed]

[snowblindmods]

Characters: anyone who signed up for the Noisy Black event
Location: an office building
Date: Morning and Day 260
Summary: You wake up in a room.
Warnings: nothing of note for this part, please note any specific things that happen in the comment sections of your posts

Sinners Top Level
Converted Top Level

Comments

[thewarningafter]

You picked a hell of a time to start rehab, kid.

[Hah. Ha.]

I could give you more advice. Explain it step by step.

[mrcreamsicles]

Zell sent me a video doing that with Jim's help last night, but I'm not going to say no if you've got extra pointers. I haven't exactly got my tablet to refer back to.

[He wishes he has something more to hold onto than just the bars on one side. Don't people in rehab have those bar things to support themselves with? His legs aren't even weak, but if he could get the hang of that much, it would make the rest so much easier.]

[Too bad the morgue was bound to kick him out come morning, but what can you do in a place like this?]

[thewarningafter]

I never really listened in physical therapy.

[And it wasn't for his legs, besides.]

It was...step by step. A joke.

[mrcreamsicles]

[Well, now that he says it. He hangs his head, shakes it, looks back up.]

You really punning with me now, Strange? I should have caught that. I've been fired from the baseball league, too many fly balls gone on my watch, and now the umpire's pitching a fit because how are they going to run a game when the catcher's out of strikes?

[He knows jack and shit about baseball.]

Don't mind me, man. I can't even pay attention to everything going on when we're stuck like this.

[thewarningafter]

[Stephen chuckles, pretty sure Davesprite got his metaphor wrong but no more an expert on sportsball himself.]

I think that's when they walk you to first base, though.

[mrcreamsicles]

Is it? Do they just rotate the players like that? Shit, maybe that's why they call it the outfield.

[He is seriously considering this.]

[thewarningafter]

I don't know. Between innings, they do.

[mrcreamsicles]

Well I know the innings are when an out player gets to come back in. Nine of them, right? And if your team gets more than nine outs, then you have to make do with whatever you've got left. Bottom of the ninth is crunch time because you're working with a limited team.

[thewarningafter]

Right, nine innings. And...sure? I always thought it was kind of weird that it was all odd numbers.

[mrcreamsicles]

Not all of it. There's four quarters, aren't there?

[thewarningafter]

That's basketball. And football.

[mrcreamsicles]

No, dude, no. Football runs on halftime. You've got the first half, the second half, that's how it works.

[thewarningafter]

I don't think that's right.

[mrcreamsicles]

Are you sure? How much football have you watched?

[He's watched like, none, except for maybe snippets when channel surfing back in Houston.]

[thewarningafter]

Some. I've watched some football. How much football have you watched, huh?

[mrcreamsicles]

Not much, but come on. How many games does a guy need to see to know what halftime is?

[thewarningafter]

Halves can divide into quarters. You can have both. I thought you were supposed to be from Texas, Texans love football.

[mrcreamsicles]

Then why don't they call it quartertime, Strange? It doesn't follow.

[rubikscomplex]

Oh. My. God.

[House has taken about all he can take.]

Football has four quarters. Strange is right. You have the first two quarters in the first half and the second two quarters in the second half. Basketball has four quarters. Baseball has nine innings.

Catchers catch the ball the pitcher's throwing if the batter doesn't hit it. They don't run out of strikes. It's three strikes and the batter's out. Four balls and you walk to first. Teams rotate offense and defense. Individual players don't just rotate positions. Nine players are on the field for the defense at any one time, but you have a 25-guy bench to pull from for the nine. It's called the outfield because it's not the infield. It's just the distance from the plate. Every inning consists of each team getting a turn at offense--hitting balls and scoring runs--and defense--pitching balls and and either striking players out or tagging them out on base or by catching hits straight up.

And this isn't soccer. You don't just lose teams because you're out. You have the same guys come out for the next inning.

Jesus Christ! It's like listening to a couple of engineers try to talk about deep sea fishing.

[thewarningafter]

[Stephen starts chuckling about halfway through and doesn't stop until House is done. A smile tinges his voice.]

Okay, but where does the quarterback come in? He's the one that does all the home runs, right?

[rubikscomplex]

Strange, I swear to God, I will find a way to break out of this cell and strangle you.

[thewarningafter]

Oh good, you've found your motivation.

[rubikscomplex]

Yeah, yeah. Everybody's a comedian in this joint.

[thewarningafter]

Yeah, well, let me know if you have any other sports wisdom you have a burning need to share with me. I'll absolutely pay attention.

[rubikscomplex]

[House just grunts and doesn't reply for the time being. He is listening, though, and you assholes need to stop being Wrong about sports.]