[log] Noisy Black, Part One [closed]

[snowblindmods]

Characters: anyone who signed up for the Noisy Black event
Location: an office building
Date: Morning and Day 260
Summary: You wake up in a room.
Warnings: nothing of note for this part, please note any specific things that happen in the comment sections of your posts

Sinners Top Level
Converted Top Level

Comments

[rubikscomplex]

Well, detective, consider that we're here. What's missing?

[himalayanyeti]

I don't even fuckin' know how we're in the same place, honestly. You were fuckin' around a few country miles from where I was, if memory serves. But, uh...everything's missin'? Our stuff, and all. No girls, either, it seems like.

[rubikscomplex]

No girls. No anyone apart from the, what? Fifteen or sixteen of us? Where is everyone else? If we're in cells, what are they getting? What have they been doing since that Prophet bullshit first came up? They're dividing us into groups. The ones with the Prophet, and the ones with Andromeda.

We're with Andromeda. And that means, the people we know are probably being mind controlled to work for the Prophet. They'll probably be the ones torturing us.

[House thinks of Quark when he'd met the kid on that night with the murders. He'd managed to hold back long enough for House to lock him up, but if he hadn't? If they have Quark again? Christ...]

[himalayanyeti]

Mm. Well, I don't know enough about any of the things you just said to really argue with you, so I guess you're right. We're all boys, and we're all...Ant-dromedas, or whatever the hell it was. I reckon I'm sort of out of my depth with all of you, then.

[There's a thoughtful pause.]

I hope you go first, torture-wise, and I hope it hurts worse than anythin' you've ever felt.

[rubikscomplex]

[House rolls his eyes.]

Yeah, you're useless. Bet you're a screamer, though. Can't wait to find out.

[himalayanyeti]

Well, I wouldn't say useless. Just because I'm not in on your weird bullshit code words for this place doesn't mean I don't have other talents! Like not screamin', or...firin' guns, or other things. I'm a halfway decent cook.

[rubikscomplex]

Too bad. I only accept decent cooks. Had a guy living with me for awhile. He could've been freaking chef if he wasn't a doctor. Stingy, though. I had to steal everything from him.

[himalayanyeti]

Oh, that's tough.

[...Well, hold on.]

If you're makin' some kind of reference, I gotta remind you that I don't get it. I don't get any jokes you're makin', either. So, at face value: that sucks. I really hate those kinds'a folks. Stingy ones, not good cooks.

[rubikscomplex]

What would I even be making a reference to? He was just a good cook. And then he moved out. [Wistful sigh.] And into a patient's house. Super awkward when we found out about that on one of my cases.

[himalayanyeti]

Jeez, that sucks. Is it a common thing for all doctors to be absolutely fuckin' nuts? I don't know too many, but it seems like there's always a catch. "Oh, Doctor So-and-So is great, but you have to watch out for this bizzaro goddamn quirk of his." I guess maybe some just sleep with patients. I've met one like that.

[rubikscomplex]

No, that was just him, basically. He's an emotional vampire, feeds on neediness. And sick people? Well, they need him like stat. He's not crazy, though, he just can't keep it in his pants. And who the hell do you know like that?

[himalayanyeti]

I mean, you're a fuckin' creep, is all. And all the other doctors I've met, in their own ways. But that's shitty! He's not crazy, maybe, but he is an asshole. The guy I know--well, I didn't know him too well, I just heard about him ex-ten-sive-ly from a friend and met him once--was some kind of surgeon in Italy who got with his patients. He also shot my eye out.

[rubikscomplex]

Remind me to send the guy a gift basket if we ever get outta here. [There's a pause.] Didn't you stab Watson? How's he a creep? [Give him all the dirt, Magenta.]

[himalayanyeti]

Oh, Johnny's fine! Mostly. He has a harem, but nobody's perfect. I'm fond of him, at least.

[rubikscomplex]

A harem? [What does a guy have to do around here to get a harem?] I've almost banged four chicks here. [He can have a harem, too!]

[himalayanyeti]

Yep, definitely a harem. He denied it, but I was there, and I traveled with them, which I guess makes me a part of his gang. He's alright, though! For a doctor. Could stand to loosen up a little, but everyone here could. Also: please, please don't tell me about your escapades. You're, like, sixty.

cw: mention of lacerations, sexist commentary

[rubikscomplex]

I'm forty-seven, Curls. And let's see. There was Cissnei. Red-head. Hot. Wore a suit. Little fire-cracker. Hale. She's still around. Blonde's aren't my favorite. She's been around the block a few times here, though. I'm not looking for sloppy doctor seconds from Epps. Temple. Now she was a babe. Got all kinds of handsy with me. [While she was patching up the lacerations to his face...] And then there was Miri... She was sex on two legs, man. The bod', the attitude. Then her girlfriend turns up and suddenly it's 'Oh, House, I can't. I'm bi, but my bae.

[Some of this might be exaggeration. In fact, most of it is.]

[himalayanyeti]

I do have a name, you know. And you have bad taste, it seems like! I bet most of 'em weren't even good lookin', and you're just tryin' to make yourself seem like some kind'a hotshot. Like anyone's lookin' for a forty-seven year old shithead.

[rubikscomplex]

You have a stupid name. And wait until we get our tablets back, Maggie May. There is no way you won't say these chicks are smokin'. Even if you're gay, they're hot. Objectively hot.

[himalayanyeti]

It's not stupid! I have a better name than Greg House. It has flair, and personal style. You're not gonna find a finer name anywhere you look--and it's unique, too! And I'm not gay, either. Obviously. You just have bad taste.

[rubikscomplex]

Your name is a color repeated. It's stupid. And dude, seriously? You're gayer than a two dollar bill that's gone over the rainbow into the local Norfinbury pride parade.

[himalayanyeti]

It's a fun color repeated, though! It has a good rhythm. Magenta Magenta. I like being called that; it makes me feel special. Anyways, though, I don't know what you're talking about with...parades, and things of the sort. You shouldn't assume things about people, y'know!

[rubikscomplex]

Name five chicks you've banged or thought about banging. Then name five guys.

[This might be a trick, Magenta.]

[himalayanyeti]

Well, listen, that's useless, 'cause you wouldn't know anyone I'd say. Certainly nobody here. No guys, though, I can tell you that! It's a silly question, because there's none of 'em.

[rubikscomplex]

Just 'cause I don't know 'em doesn't mean you can't say 'em. Personally, I'd go Cissnei, Temple, Hale, Miri, and Cuddy on the chick side. Harrison Ford--Hans Solo era Harrison Ford--Freddie Mercury, Dizzie Gillespie, Mick Jagger, and Wilson on the guy side. I guess Jesus, too for the bonus. I'd wanna see what that sweet 'born of a virgin' ass is really like.