[Beckett does, admittedly, feel that he deserves quite a bit of sympathy. When he isn't feeling that he deserves what he got. It's a complicated mindset.

He glances at Stephen from under his tinted glasses, a spark of anger at the question.] Living enough to be hungry and cold. And sick more often than not. Feeding feels good but it does nothing. Breath, a pulse, the lot... and it isn't a gift. It was never what I wanted.