[network] @standardissue; Will You Still Call Me Superman? [open] [Night 200]

[deus_ex_phs]

[Someone is up way too late at night with nothing better to do. Or maybe he's deliberately providing something not-so-serious in the wake of everything that's been going on. Either way...]

Norfinbury, I need your help. My PHS is working again, giving me access to all my old mail, and I came across this entry from a news source in my world.

Subject: Flying SOLDIER man: Dead or alive?
--------------------------------------------

From: Reporter

Contents: Unidentified flying objects are being reported from every
town and borough. Witness accounts point to several common
traits--and lead to the conclusion that it is, in fact, Angeal.
Angeal's death was thought to be certain after [redacted]
so what could these sightings mean?
Have reports of the highly-regarded SOLDIER member's
death been greatly exaggerated--or, perhaps, has
Shinra perfected the technology of bringing back the dead!?
This reporter is committed to bringing you the truth,
no matter how sinister it may be.

Flying SOLDIER Man. Flying SOLDIER Man. Surely there's a better name we can give a super hero with wings. Help me come up with ideas!

Can provide more details about Angeal if needed. I have access to all his fan club mail now, too.

Comments

@Spoiler ; text

[spoileralert]

I need a hair and/or clothing color.

@standardissue; text

[deus_ex_phs]

Black hair, black clothes. Wings were white, if that helps?

[spoileralert]

The Raven. Or Magpie, whichever seems more appropriate.

[deus_ex_phs]

Raven sounds fittingly ominous. On the other hand, super hero names are sometimes a bit ridiculous.

Case in point, your Superman.

[spoileralert]

Superman can kill you with a look, he doesn't have to sound intimidating.

[deus_ex_phs]

What about Batman? And Wonder Woman?

[spoileralert]

Princess Diana is a demigoddess, and, well, you've met Batman.

[deus_ex_phs]

For a given value of "met."

So what I'm taking from this is that the more ridiculous your super hero name is, the more dangerous you are?

Seriously? A demigoddess?

[spoileralert]

The vigilantes that were named by the newspapers got attention because they were kicking ass and taking names. That Batman ranks among a demigoddess and an alien with the power to bench press a planet says something.

[deus_ex_phs]

I concede the point you're trying to make.

Though I do feel like I should remind you that newspapers don't always make their decisions on what to print based on logic. They could have chosen to name and print about Batman because of bizarre, sensational behavior instead of ass kicking abilities.

"Bat-man" Found Under Bridge

Police report that a man has been successfully rescued from the Junon Street bridge after he hung himself upside down by tying his feet to the support struts. He was there for three days, screeching at passersby and flapping his hands... [More on page 6]

[spoileralert]

I see your argument, and raise you this drawing of that exact scenario:

[ The image she sends depicts Batman, in full regalia, hanging upside down from a bridge and waving his arms madly. He even has an angry face and a speech bubble declaring "I AM THE (K)NIGHT!" ]

[deus_ex_phs]

[Good job, Steph, you just made him laugh.]

Don't tell me this actually happened. I was just making things up!

[spoileralert]

Who can say?? He's a secretive guy!

[deus_ex_phs]

THAT wouldn't exactly be secretive, though!

[spoileralert]

You don't know what he gets up to when nobody is looking.

[deus_ex_phs]

I worry about your super heroes, Steph.

[spoileralert]

We all do.

[heroproceeding]

are all those super hero types secretly like that or something?

[ He has to poke a little bit of fun for her efforts, okay. ]

[spoileralert]

They are in my heart.

[heroproceeding]

so does that mean you happen to have a lot of heart to heart with your tablet that I'm missing out on here or something?

[ Look, not that he's one for shitpost drawings...

...but he's totally one for shitpost drawings. ]

[spoileralert]

I know you want me to answer that, I'm just not sure if it's ethical.

[ She has so, so many doodles. ]

[heroproceeding]

this coming from the one reading erotica on the network.

[ HIT HIM WITH YOUR BEST SHOT.

You know.

Just not with actual bullets, thanks. One and done there. ]

[spoileralert]

I mean if pornography is what you're looking for I guess I can do that too

[heroproceeding]

nah I'm not much of a reader. you could always ask Kunsel if he wants some though. he's pretty fond of romance after all.

[ Though whether that strays into purple prose smut, no one knows. Except maybe Zack. Or maybe he doesn't. NOBODY KNOWS. Yet. ]

[spoileralert]

you're asking me for art, bro