[network] @genresavvy; video; night 199 [open]

[theurgy]

Hey.

[Cassel gives his tablet an exaggerated wave.]

So I was talking to Winter earlier, and she agreed to make an app for me. Whatever it is will interface with the technology around town wirelessly, or so she says, so we can use it on the servers in town hall. You know, assuming we ever get there. Anyway, she didn't actually give it to me yet, but I'll keep you all updated.

[A shining beacon of positivity. He sighs, raking his hand through his hair.]

In other news, my feet are fucking freezing, because no one gave me the heads up that I'd be taking the vacation from hell in the middle of Bumfuck, Alaska, so I need some shoes. Or socks, whatever, I'm not picky. I'll trade for them, but don't waste my time and try to scalp me. [There's the slightest pause.] Uh, thanks.

Comments

[jumpthegun]

[That's sounding uncomfortably close to his relationship with Sherlock.]

No, well, that's just the difference between mates and your best mate. You do anything for them, including stopping them from doing something that's liable to get them punched.

[quadrangle]

OH OF COURSE, WHAT WAS I THINKING! OBVIOUSLY THE HUMAN WHO DIDN'T GROW UP WITH THESE CONCEPTS HAMMERED INTO HIS THINK PAN AND DIDN'T SPEND LITERAL SWEEPS THOROUGHLY INVESTIGATING THIS AND OTHER ROMANTIC PHENOMENA AND COMPARING AND CONTRASTING THEM WITH THOSE OF AN ALIEN CULTURE WOULD KNOW BETTER THAN I, WHO BOTH HAS *AND* WHO'S HAD A MOIRAIL BEFORE.
IT'S FUCKING DIFFERENT. YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A PUNCH TO THE FACE, NOT LIFE AND DEATH AND STARING THEM IN THE EYES KNOWING YOU'RE THE ONLY THING STOPPING THEM FROM MAKING THE WRONG DECISION. OR THEY'RE THE ONLY THING STOPPING YOU.
AND NO IT ISN'T ALWAYS LIFE AND DEATH BUT YOU'D BE THERE FOR THEM IF IT WAS AND THEY'D BE THERE FOR YOU, LIKE YOU'RE THERE FOR EACH OTHER FOR EVERYTHING ELSE. STOPPING THEM GETTING PUNCHED IS ONLY THE START.
LOOK I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE FORMAL QUADRANTS ON EARTH BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE ENTIRELY SEPARATE FROM WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW. THERE'S BOUND TO BE SOME OVERLAP IF NOT THINGS THAT ARE COMPLETELY IDENTICAL. AND MAYBE YOU DON'T THINK OF THOSE RELATIONSHIPS IN THOSE TERMS BUT COULD YOU FUCKING NOT TRY AND TELL ME THAT MOIRALLEGIANCE IS JUST A FANCY NAME FOR BEING SOMEONE'S BFF??

[jumpthegun]

That is not romance. You said yourself it's platonic.

[quadrangle]

GUESS WHAT ASSHOLE THE ONLY TIME I USED "PLATONIC" WAS WHEN I WAS TALKING ABOUT ROMANTIC VERSUS PLATONIC PITY AND ROMANTIC VERSUS PLATONIC HATE. *THIS* IS ROMANTIC PITY.

[Although. Wait. Oh my god.]

HOLY FUCK TELL ME YOU AREN'T THIS STUPID. DO YOU MEAN IT ISN'T ROMANCE BECAUSE IT ISN'T CONCUPISCENT? IS THAT SERIOUSLY YOUR SOLE CRITERIA. YOU CAN STILL HAVE A DEEP EMOTIONAL CONNECTION TO SOMEONE WITHOUT WANTING TO FUCK THEM, OR ISN'T THAT HOW YOUR WHOLE "FAMILY" SYSTEM WORKS? OR HOW SOME OF IT WORKS?
JUST TRUST ME IT'S POSSIBLE.

[jumpthegun]

Family members aren't typically romantically involved with each other. If they are, they're either royalty back in the 1800s or they're doing something illegal. Deep emotional connections aren't romance. For humans, that term implies you're physically attracted to someone, as well as any other way you're attracted to them.

[quadrangle]

NEED I REMIND YOU THAT I AM NOT, IN FACT, HUMAN. NEED I ALSO REMIND YOU THAT THINGS WERE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ON MY PLANET? WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS THE WHOLE REASON WHY I STARTED EXPLAINING THIS AT ALL.
SO HERE'S THE XENOSOCIOLOGY FOR MORONS VERSION: WE THINK ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS DIFFERENTLY THAN HUMANS DO BECAUSE (GASP!) WE'RE NOT HUMAN.
TRY TO CONTAIN YOUR SHOCK, I KNOW THIS MUST BE DIFFICULT FOR YOU. DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG TO BREATHE IN? OR MAYBE YOU SHOULD LIE DOWN, THAT MIGHT HELP TOO.
IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE'S TELLING YOU TO ADOPT THIS SYSTEM YOURSELF YOU KNOW. UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I DON'T TRY TO MAKE ANYONE TOTALLY ABANDON PREVIOUSLY HELD NOTIONS ABOUT IMPORTANT SOCIAL MORES BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT WHAT I'M PERSONALLY ACCUSTOMED TO.

[jumpthegun]

[Okay... that's a legitimate argument and John finds himself feeling moderately chastised. He probably just shouldn't have asked for the clarification on the moirails things.]

Fine. Sorry.

You said there were four quadrants. That's three.

[quadrangle]

[He would switch to video to emphasize the whole HELLO I AM A TROLL thing, but he has a feeling he's going to need to just send people to this whole conversation in lieu of explaining troll romance again because holy fuck. Or maybe he should just hold a Q & A? It's not like there's anything to do most nights here.

... hmm.]

OK LAST QUADRANT. THIS ONE IS ALSO CONCILIATORY AND NOT CONCUPISCENT, SO PLEASE KEEP YOUR INEVITABLE THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW IT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM ROMANCE AS YOU KNOW IT TO YOURSELF.
THE ASHEN QUADRANT, ALSO KNOWN AS AUSPISTICISM, IS WHERE TWO TROLLS WHO HATE EACH OTHER VERY VERY MUCH GET, TO BORROW YOUR HUMAN WORD, COCKBLOCKED BY A THIRD TROLL BECAUSE THE TWO TROLLS ALREADY HAVE A KISMESIS OR BECAUSE A KISMESISSITUDE BETWEEN THE TWO WOULD BE CATASTROPHIC ON EVERY CONCEIVABLE LEVEL.
SO LIKE MOIRALLEGIANCE IT'S ABOUT STEPPING IN BECAUSE NOT DOING SO FUCKS EVERYONE OVER. AUSPISTICISM CAN ALSO OCCUR BETWEEN A FLUSHED OR CALIGINOUS COUPLE IF THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS HAVING ISSUES OF WHATEVER KIND, BUT THAT'S MORE TEMPORARY.
AND BEFORE YOU EVEN ASK, YES TROLLS HAVE PROBLEM MASTERING THIS QUADRANT BECAUSE IT'S SO FUCKING COMPLICATED. BUT IT'S INTEGRAL TO SOCIETY THE SAME WAY THE OTHERS ARE AND **JUST AS VALID** AS FLUSHED, CALIGINOUS, AND PALE RELATIONSHIPS.

[jumpthegun]

[Way to be a condescending little cock, but John supposes he's earned it to an extent.]

Do you only have one of these at a time for each color? I mean, do you only have a flushed girlfriend and you have to break up with her before you can have a caliginous girlfriend? Or you can only be a moirail or an auspictism? Not both?

Or does it run the other direction? It just seems like someone might get jealous if you were 'pitying' or 'hating' someone else at the same time you were doing it for them.

[quadrangle]

IDEALLY YOU HAVE ONE OF EACH AT THE SAME TIME, BUT YOU CAN ALSO BE AN AUSPISTICE IF SOMETHING ELSE IS AUSPISTICIZING BETWEEN YOU AND SOMEONE ELSE.
AND JUST TO PUT IT OUT THERE, TROLLS DON'T HAVE TO DATE MALES OR FEMALES EXCLUSIVELY BECAUSE OF WHATEVER WEIRD SOCIETAL TABOO HUMANS HAVE ABOUT IT. I NEVER EVEN HEARD THE WORD "HOMOSEXUAL" UNTIL MY FRIEND JOHN BROUGHT IT UP, NOT THAT IT WAS RELATED IN ANY WAY TO THE CONVERSATION WE WERE HAVING AT THE TIME.

[Yes. Totally unrelated. Haha. Uh.]

[jumpthegun]

Your friend John brought up the word 'homosexual' out of the blue?

[Gay, yes, John can understand that. Homosexual is a rather clinical term for it... especially for someone in the same age bracket as Karkat.]

[quadrangle]

UH

[Fuck.]

LOOK IT'S COMPLICATED AND THERE'S TIME SHENANIGANS INVOLVED BUT BASICALLY YES.
I MEAN

[He does not want to provide any more context he does not want to provide any more context why is this even]

HE MAY HAVE BEEN UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT I WAS FLIRTING WITH HIM, WHICH I ABSOLUTELY WASN'T. I JUST SAID A FEW THINGS THAT MAY HAVE LIBERALLY BEEN INTERPRETED AS A CALIGINOUS OVERTURE IF YOU WERE COMPLETELY ROMANTICALLY INEPT AND CONGENITALLY STUPID.

[jumpthegun]

[Given that John's been on the wrong end of someone mistaking his conversation for romantic advances, he isn't actually inclined to pry much beyond that.]

Oh. Tough luck, mate.

So, you said you've got a moirail. Have you got any of your other quadrants?

[quadrangle]

[And there, John has somehow managed to hit the one topic Karkat actually wouldn't rather talk about.]

HAD. *HAD* A MOIRAIL, AND FUCK THAT GUY.
NO I DON'T. WHY?

[jumpthegun]

[Oh. John stares at that reply feeling awkward.]

Sorry it didn't end well. I was just curious.

Thanks for the explanation, then. Don't want to inundate you with too many questions, I suppose.

[quadrangle]

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'M DISGUSTINGLY USED TO THIS BY NOW.

[jumpthegun]

[To losing moirails or to answering romance questions? John decides it would be better not to ask that.]

Well, I'll leave you to it with Adelina and the others for now.

[quadrangle]

RIGHT. TALK TO YOU LATER.