snowblindrpg | [log] Event: Lavender's Green, Part Two [open]

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[log] Event: Lavender's Green, Part Two [open]

Characters: everyone
Location: mysterious, white hallways
Date: Day 193-194
Summary: Find friends. Get lost. Don't look.
Warnings: Potential for gore and psychological horror. Please note any specific warnings in your subject lines!

While confusingly similar, the area is split into a few different sections:

The Core
The hallways here are narrow and twist at a rapid rate. With how dazzlingly white everything is, it's easy to not realize you're coming on a turn and slam right into the walls. There are no rooms here--no one starts here, though they may find it while they wander. At the center is a large, round area, like the center of a spiral. There's a lot of air pressure here.

The Inner Hallways
The largest area, filled with dead ends, gentle slopes and twists, and, occasionally, difficult-to-see drops where a higher hallway intersects with a lower one without a wall to separate them. The whole place tastes vaguely like blood. Most rooms are here--most people start here.

The Outer Hallways
The outer ring of the ball of yarn. It's not as thick with halls and twists as the other two areas, leading to a lot more boring walking in one direction. It's totally possible to circle around the same path multiple times without realizing it, as everything is so similar here. Occasionally, footsteps can be heard just outside the farthest walls. Sometimes, something breathes. There are a few rooms here--some people will start here.

Remember to note what kind of eyes your character has in their top level!

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[ His shoulders droop as Jim lets go. After a moment or two, Zell shifts around to put his legs under him. Looking at Jim, then down, and back again as he weighs something. Then he moves to lay on his side and put his head on Jim's lap. Crossing his arms against his chest to keep himself from touching more than that until he can trust himself again. ]

How's this?

It's perfect.

[ Jim lightly runs a hand over the undamaged part of Zell's forehead, pulling back a much of the hair as will go, and then - because he can't help himself - he's touching Zell's arms where they're tightly crossed, too.

He undertands why his boyfriend's withdrawing the way he is, but he wants so badly -

It doesn't matter.

With gentle efficiency, he's producing one of the precious few waterbottles they were given when the rooms released them and pouring a tiny bit over the end of his scarf. He uses that to clear away the blood that's already clotted on Zell's head around the wound. ]

I don't think it's deep.

[ Whoever it was hadn't been aiming to kill Zell. ]

[ He breathes out a sigh as gradually bit by bit he relaxes under Jim's touch. Just yesterday, he would have done anything to feel Jim like this again. To be back with the person that is synonymous to safe and warm to him.

He's trying to remember their talks of what partners are supposed to do. How the conversation with Zach went even, but he does feel a knot of worry. That he may end up hurting Jim.

While Jim dabs at the wound, Zell stretches his arm over to his boyfriend's hip. Tracing lightly the designs he drew into the skin as he concentrates on that. He's still not entirely sure this is real. Sure, he felt the rock's initial impact, but what if this was like those dreams? ]

It probably nicked a vein. [ And produced an annoying amount of bleeding. ]

Head wound.

[ Jim's agreeing with him. His hands, if Zell's paying attention, are shaking slightly as he finishes the cleanup. It's still bleeding sluggishly when he's done, but it's clean, and good enough to wrap snuggly around Zell's head. ]

There. You're okay. It's going to be okay.

[ Just because Jim's focusing on the most immediate problem doesn't mean he's not thinking about the rest. ]

[ He doesn't respond immediately. Once Jim is finished he does roll onto his stomach. Moving to link his hands together some where behind Jim as he rests his cheek against his thigh. ]

Yeah. [ The words comes out in a long breath. ] Yeah, it's going to be okay. [ Repeating it in hopes it'll actually come true. The fear and anxiety from the room is gone, but now he has to worry about hurting the people he cares for.

He doesn't really have the will to move at the moment, but he knows they need to actually get moving. To kick ass and find a way out. ]

Did. Did they do anything to you?

[ Jim rests one hand on the nape of Zell's neck, running his fingers through the hair there. He doesn't want Zell to move, or go anywhere; maybe they can ride out whatever it is in this hallway together.

(They can't. Jim wishes he were a little better at lying to himself.) ]

No. Nothing's touched me. Ran into a few people here and there, but we keep getting separated.

[ Jim bites his lip around the question he wants to ask - did Zell run into anyone? Had he killed anyone? Surely there would've been more blood if that were the case... ]

[ He feels a mixture of ease and guilt. Zell could kill Jim or someone they care for, and here he is seeking comfort in Jim's lap. He is relieved at hearing that nothing has gotten Jim. ]

Ran into a few people. Steph, Tony, Ecks, and Brian. [ A pause. ] Brian was the only one with me after the rock fell.

[ Touching the small of Jim's back carefully as he traces new designs down. It's easier having an eye full of lap or stomach at the moment so not to stare into the false eyes of the prophet. That's what makes this whole frickin' thing hard to believe.

Sure, creepy ghosts giggling and dropping rocks is pretty hard to swallow normally, but this place has shown it's not normal. ]

[ Jim's heart's in his throat and his hand still in Zell's hair as Zell rattles off the list of people. Brian was the only one.

It's a terrible kind of relief, but it's enough to make him force the words out: ]

Did you...?

[ Well. Some of the words. ]

[ It doesn't really take long for Zell to make the leap to what Jim means. Sitting up as he shakes his head, hands moving to clasp Jim's shoulders. ]

No. No, I didn't. He stayed behind me the whole time. [ There is something left unsaid. The part where Brian could have taken Zell out any time he felt endangered. It didn't come to that thankfully. ]

[ Jim puts his hands over Zell's on his shoulders, a clasp of reassurance, and nods. He's thankful Zell didn't do anything. He's thankful Brian didn't do anything.

God, everything about this sucks. ]

-Okay. Good.

[ It's lame, but heartfelt. ]

Good. It's - [ Jim chews his lip. ] It's going to be okay. I think I have an idea, but you're probably not going to like it.

[ He could have been lying on the cold hard ground

If Brian could actually bring himself to do it. At the touch he does look at Jim's hands for a moment or two. Then back at Jim as he tries to figure out what he's going to suggest. Not going to like it, huh? Moving his hands off as he looks at Jim. ]

You're going to go?

[ Shoulders droop and he tries his best not to show just how much the idea hurts that Jim might want to actually leave him. But it's also for the best, which is what makes it worst. He knows it's for the best. Jim needs to stay away until whatever is effecting Zell leaves his system. Swallowing back the tide of emotions as he just nods quietly. ]

[ Jim flinches. Even if Zell's doing his best to hide his feelings, Jim knows. Not going to like it is an understatement; alone, in the maze, when his mind's not his own? Jim couldn't design a harsher punishment for Zell if he tried.

He stares at his knees, unwilling to meet Zell's eyes. ]

I'm going to get the rock away from you.

[ It's not leaving, Jim tells himself. It's not leaving, and this isn't the last time they'll see each other - it's not - ]

If it gets worse, or we ran into someone else... I couldn't stop you.

[ And he's without a working tablet to remind himself of what anyone sounds or looks like. The flinch has him lifting his hand up, to try to reassure his boyfriend, but he doesn't make contact. Jim doesn't want contact. Jim doesn't want him right now.

Shakily, he drops his hand back down as he just nods again. Trying to work out the words Jim is saying, but the meaning isn't quite reaching him. He's going to be alone in here because he's dangerous.

Because Jim can't stop him.

If Zack or Kunsel was there... would it be safer?

He doesn't know and this whole place isn't helping at all. ]

I could hurt you.

[ Leaving isn't what partners do, but... ]

It's. [ Choking back a sound. ] It's better for you. Safer.

No.

[ Jim grinds the words out, but it's all that he can manage to say. He's not letting Zell get away, though, not yet. He closes the space between them, hesitates for a second - what if Zell doesn't want him anymore? - before trying to pull him close. ]

It's not for me. If it were for me I wouldn't care.

[ About any of it. Zell had grabbed too tight, but out of panic, not out of any desire to hurt him. He's safe. ]

I don't want to. I just don't think there's another choice.

[ He freezes as he feels Jim pulling him close for only a moment, but Jim's words are enough to spring him into action. If it were for me I wouldn't care. Wrapping his arms tight around Jim as he starts shaking against him. Burying his face against his shoulder as he sniffles loudly. He doesn't want to cry. He doesn't want to fall to pieces, but it's so easy to do here. It's easy to fall apart here in this stupid dream or whatever the hell it is.

Jim doesn't want to. Jim doesn't think there is another choice. Circling that in his head as he tries to steady his breathing and put himself back together. ]

We'll meet back up?

[ Zell returning the hug is such a relief that Jim can't help but melt into it, clinging for all he's worth. He can feel Zell shaking, or maybe he's shaking - ]

Of course we will.

[ Jim's not abandoning him. He just has to keep repeating that - Zell will be alone for a while, but not abandoned. ]

Just let me help you.

[ He repeats those words, his mouth moving to sound them out, but nothing actually comes out. Shift his mouth against Jim's cheek and saying we will in a quiet murmur. Bumping first their foreheads and then their noses against each other. Reaching up to gently trace the side of Jim's face much like he has done in the past when the idea he may die before Jim weighed heavily on his shoulders.

Now it's the idea that they may never see each other for a long time. Or something else may befall his Stars the moment he can no longer see him.

Giving a slow nod as he leans back. Keeping a hand on Jim as he rubs his face against his arm. Swallowing. ]

As you wish, Stars.

[ Jim nuzzles the hand touching his face, trying to hide his own fear and doubt deep so that Zell doesn't have to look at it. He's got no way of knowing when they'll next be together, but he wants to keep Zell safe. He wants to keep everyone safe. ]

I promise I'll make everything okay.

[ His voice breaks, betraying the lie. ]

[ There is a part of him that hurts over the fact that Jim is trying to shoulder everything. He's trying so hard to make sure Zell is okay all on his own.

The other part of him is hit like a hammer with a reminder just how much Jim cares for him. Jim does his best to remind him with letters or those moments here and there where they hold each other. This really hits it in hard. ]

Jim. [ It's raw with emotion again as he nods. Trying again to put his thoughts into words. ] We're partners. We both will. We both will make everything okay.

[ Jim's idea. Jim's choice. Jim's fault if it all goes horribly wrong.

Partners, though. He'll always feel like he's scrambling to stand equal in situations like this, to shoulder the same weight as his more experienced friends. The reminder that it also means he has to share his own is a hard one, always, when it already feels like he can do so little.

He's quiet for a moment before kissing Zell on the forehead and nodding. ]

Then let's do it. We'll be together again soon.

Yeah, we will be.

[ Jim is saying it, so it must be true. A part of him still wants to resist. Wants to just grab Jim and pull him into one of the rooms they were in earlier. Just to hold on tight until all of this is over with, but he knows inaction is the worst kind of action. That they need to keep moving.

And he trusts Jim on this. Even if everything screws up and they don't see each other again, he'll still hold on to these words. They will be together again soon.

Hands move to Jim's sides to find his waist to hold him gingerly. Lifting his head higher to press a kiss against his mouth. It's quick, maybe with a little force, but it's all he can really manage at the moment. Any other kind of smooches doesn't seem right, especially when something else could happen to Jim while he's occupied. Lifting his hand up to brush his knuckles against Jim's cheek a final time and then he's standing up.

Flexing his fingers and having the vaguest feeling of missing the weight of something it before he offers it to Jim to help him stand. ]

We should go. The longer we wait the more I want to...

[ Change Jim's mind or pretend like nothing is happening beyond the two of them. ]

[ Jim ignores the hand for a second too long. He's not even looking at Zell, just staring at the opposite wall blankly as his mind tries, and fails, to run over the situation. It keeps shying away from the enormity of it, so Jim shoves one hand in his pocket to brush against the rock - something to ground him - before he takes Zell's hand and pulls with just enough force to bring him to his feet.

The more I want to...

Jim knows. He also knows they have to do this, but suddenly everything's moving too quickly and he just wants it to slow until the choices get easier or more fair.

It doesn't, though, so instead he pulls Zell close and kisses him for all he's worth, maybe lingering too long, but he doesn't care. If it is the last one, it's gonna be worth it. When it breaks, his voice is rough. ]

I know. Me too. Don't say goodbye.

[ Zell is taken by surprised by the move, but eases into it. Wrapping his arms around Jim tightly as the kiss is returned with equal fervor. Once they pull away to breathe, he's going to nuzzle his face against his shoulder and neck. He really doesn't want to let him go. The endless possibilities of what might happen hurt.

Swallowing back the wave of emotions at the way Jim's voice sounds and his words. Don't say goodbye.

Making an almost broken sound in his throat as he presses a breathless kiss again Jim's hair. ]

I. I won't. We will see each other soon.

[ He can't help but feel it won't be soon enough. ]

Soon.

[ Jim takes a few deep gulps of the comforting smell that he associates with his boyfriend - with home. It's overlaid with blood, but it's the bet either of them are getting right now, and Jim will take it. Memorizing you - the thought comes without Jim's permission and he shoves it violently away.

It gives him the strength to step back and straighten his coat on Zell's shoulders before he gives a satisfied nod and - though it hurts to do - tries to meet his eyes as he takes another step away. ]

Go.

[ He hopes it sounds like an order. ]

[ At first he can't move. His feet feel like lead. It feels like everything hurts for the first time since he got injured. Everything feels cold, but where Jim's hand brushed against him when he fixes the jacket.

Go.

Jim is telling him to leave. Instantly his attention drops away from his boyfriend as he nods. His hand lifts up for a moment before he drops it to his side. He tries to manage a smile, but it doesn't light up his face or reach his eyes. It's just there, as he clenches his fists and starts walking away from the only light he has in this place. ]

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rattlingthestars - 2017-03-10 20:30 (UTC) - Expand

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