If there was a dead bald eagle on my rooftop I'd have to turn myself in to the FBI, Cassel. Sburb is cancelled, I'm felon now and my American citizenship has been stripped for life.

'You want to explain to me how the raw feathery spirit of our country wound up dead at your home, boy?'

Listen, Mister Agent, I was going to revive it in this glowy orb like new again—

'Not good enough, son. No true patriot lets America die on their doorstop.'

Besides, the crow was already in there when I went back.