[network] @ADMIN; Arrival

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Comments

[exequies]

[The one major flaw with Sherlock's current plan is that they're doing this over a device. He can't tell if Undertaker is actually laughing, or not. Which, he doesn't.]

didnt work.

[howdull]

[Interesting. Time to test a theory.]

Make yourself sneeze. Keep your eyes open.

[exequies]

for a consulting detective you arent very good at deducing whats funny.

@jwatson; text

[jumpthegun]

Do you take substitutions?

Why are cemeteries surrounded by walls?
Because people are dying to get in there.

[Look, it's the first joke he can come up with on the fly when he's looking at this guy who is apparently an undertaker.]

[howdull]

[Oh John, thank God.]

Substitutions weren't against the agreed rules.

[exequies]

[My, this is almost nostalgic.]

if its good enough i dont really care who gives it to me.

that joke though is a bit... whats the word... unimaginative.
try again?

>audio

[jumpthegun]

[Hm... something better than a simple pun. Unfortunately, Jokes really require timing, which is difficult over text. John switches over to audio. His voice is nasally, but his accent may be generally familiar to a fellow Londoner.]

Right. How about this?

After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for the standard orientation. They're all asked the same question: 'When you're in your casket, friends and family all round to mourn you, what would you like to hear them say about you?'

The first bloke is quick off the mark saying, 'I'd like to hear them say that I was one of the great doctors of my time, and a great family man.'

The second bloke takes a little longer, but he comes back with, 'I'd like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a difference in our children of tomorrow.'

The last bloke, he has to think a good long while, mulling it over. He'd never really thought about it, of course. Finally, he lights up: 'I'd like to hear them say... Oh, god! Look! He's moving!'

>video

[exequies]

[It's a better effort, but Undertaker is a serious critic of comedy. He switches his video on just to submit evidence to the fact that he hasn't cracked much more than a resting smile.

The inside of building 144 is in the background around him, though his face and shoulders take up most of the frame. He appears to be laying on something with his chin resting directly against it, one hand covered by his long sleeve and resting near his jaw. The other is assumingly keeping the tablet propped up in front of him.

What can be seen of his face doesn't look particularly old, despite his grey hair and voice, when he speaks.]

Haven't heard that one, before. You're doing better, but still lacking that certain spark.

[Undertaker tilts his head, cheek mushing down on whatever surface he's laying against with an utterly bored look.]

Oh well. I'm sure the consulting detective might figure things out without any of my help.

[jumpthegun]

[Well, John doesn't doubt Sherlock will find a way, but he does want to prove to Sherlock that he can still be useful, even with his leg how it is.]

You've got to give me a little direction. What sorts of things d'you find funny, Mister...?

[exequies]

[Lifting his head to set it straight, he gives the camera a bigger smile.]

I'd think that someone like yourself and your partner would enjoy solving mysteries~ It's not as satisfying if I have to walk you through it.

[jumpthegun]

He's the brains. I'm just the beauty, mate. That's why I ask questions.

[exequies]

Is that so~?

[His hand raises, long sleeve falling back to let a few of his fingers show. They're tipped with black nails of an excessive length, and he scratches one lightly against his chin.]

I don't recall Watson being described as much of a looker. But I only read the story once.

[jumpthegun]

[John's hackles rise, but he beats that down. There's still a certain clip to his words that suggests irritation.]

Good thing I'm not out of a book, then.

[exequies]

[And in response, Undertaker grins.]

Might think about changing your name then, hm? I bet people make that mistake all the time, don't they? ^Hee hee hee...

[jumpthegun]

No, not really.

Also, I'm pretty sure that was a laugh there. So, I think that's us winning. Yeah.

[exequies]

What, that? That's just my natural state of being. More of a chortle [or a giggle] than a laugh...

You'll learn to tell the difference, I'm sure~ But alright; I'll agree to help you find your corpse. Or our consulting detective's corpse, if you prefer to leave that to him.

[jumpthegun]

All you asked for was a laugh, not one outside your natural state. [You can practically hear the shrug in his voice.]

And he'll tell me off if there's a corpse lying about that he doesn't get a look at, so might as well focus on informing him. Like I said, he's the brains. I'd like to examine one of the bodies, if I can, but he'll take enough notes and videos if I can't get there.

[exequies]

He planning on sharing any information with the rest of us, you think?

[jumpthegun]

Eventually. Probably if someone asks directly.

[Sherlock likes showing off, after all.]

[exequies]

Glad to hear it.

[It'd be a shame if he went to so much trouble and didn't get any information out of it, on top of an unsatisfying laugh. Next time he does a favor he's going to set a higher bar for payment.]

Well, best be going, then. I have a lot to do and I wouldn't want to be caught out before reaching shelter.

[jumpthegun]

Keep warm, sir. You can call me John, by the way. What should I call you?

[He will get a name or at least a pseudonym. Just you watch him!]

[exequies]

Just the undertaker will do, Dr. Watson.

[And with that, he gives a little wave of his hand at the tablet's camera.]

Bye-bye for now!

[The feed ends.]

[howdull]

That wasn't supposed to be funny. It's an experiment.

[exequies]

was it now? either way i still havent laughed once.

[howdull]

[This is annoying. And embarrassing. He really hates failing at things, and he hates even more being made to jump through hoops.

So he'll just go off in a sulk now. Let John get the laugh.

YOU WIN THIS ROUND, UNDERTAKER.]