[network] @Mnemosyne; video; the light we cannot see [open] Night 165

[bookofnope]

I can't sleep.

[The tablet is on the floor, lighting its own patch of paleness on the ceiling above. Beckett is lying next to it, prone on his back - that's what the angle of his arm, raised half-heartedly into the frame, suggests. He pulls more clearly into view for a moment, rising to a sitting position, to squint at the camera. His glasses are off, and his eyes glow a faint red in an ashen face.]

For all I know, I imagined it - the girl, the eyes. I'm certain the red pen was real, though, and the choice that came with it.

[He falls back again. Too tired to sit up. The tablet records to show nothing but light and shadow as he speaks.]

It may have been just me. Doubtful, but possible... but it was not just me who saw things. Perhaps we all did. I'd like to know what. Piece of some whole, or just another attack on what's left of our collective sanity... either way. For the sake of the record, if not any kind of answer.

[His relationship with answers isn't getting any less complicated. His voice drops low, dreamlike as he speaks on.] I saw a girl wearing a cloak. She was drawing the eyes, all around me... around me... until I was surrounded. She climbed on my back and drew her eyes on mine, and I knew there was no leaving. There has never been, not for me. Perhaps we are all...

[Too much. He stops abruptly, and rises again, grabbing for the tablet.]

It's all in my notes.

[The recording ends. In its place he sends his notes file out again.]

Comments

[bookofnope]

[It was a cold thing to do. He doesn't regret it, doesn't spare a thought to the idea. This is something he needs, and he doesn't spare a thought for people's feelings because the world doesn't, Norfinbury least of all.]

I need to know whatever you know. Both of you. Let the child speak, Enoch, they've been through more than you know.

[despiteeverything]

[It should be a nice thing, to be acknowledged as more than just a kid. As maybe someone with adult experiences of their own. And yet, something in what he says makes something flare inside of them. They're still fighting to keep their voice steady.]

I- I already said what I know! I'm sorry I'm a kid and that I'm upset and useless and I waste time we don't have but I can't just know what I never did!

[Had he thought they were lying, or hiding things? The last thing he'd asked was if Enoch knew anything they might not have. Enoch just confirmed that he didn't. They don't know what Beckett wants from them anymore.]

[warriorscribe]

[At almost the same time, Enoch is set off in a similar way.]

Don't assume what I know, why do you think I-

[But he stops himself. Both because he hates this sort of feeling and because he's realized Frisk is angry, too, Frisk is even more upset and Beckett hasn't asked anything more specific at all.]

...We've given you what we're able to offer alone. If you have anything more specific, something we might not think to look at... I thought that might be why you were trying, still.

[bookofnope]

That is why I'm trying. [His voice is still strained, still letting through the honest desperation. It's more Enoch who gets this response out of him, but he doesn't care if Frisk hears. There is no pretending, no covering up when these questions are at stake. He can't try to pretend he isn't desperate.]

I ask because she was not human, and her perspective may have been very different, in addition to being strongly influenced by MN. And as far as we know she was the only person to die while these events were taking place. You are certain her behaviour was no different? That she was lost, and not -

[He doesn't mean to stop there. He would have gone on. It's only by sheer luck - good or bad - that on that word his agitation outpaces his breathing and he has to stop, coughing.]