snowblindrpg | [network] @username; text; night 164 [open]

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[network] @username; text; night 164 [open]

[It's all over.

He's almost glad that he has John and his grief to focus on right now, because otherwise his paranoia would be burning a hole through his head. His username is out there, linked with his real name, linked even with photographs. They're public, anyone can see them, so many people already have. He has to do something about this, stop people from coming after him. Not that he doesn't deserve their anger, or their revenge, but it will just lead to more people getting hurt.

There's only one thing to do.

He can feel fear twisting in his gut as he picks up the tablet and sends out probably one of the shortest messages that's been broadcast.]

My name is Bucky Barnes. I'm not safe to be around. Stay away from me.

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I didn't miss it. But whether you meant to or not, showing people those pictures, telling them I'm his battered boyfriend or whatever? That's going to cause a panic, Davesprite. Yeah, you have every right to be afraid of him. But we were getting him to help and you knew the others were coming.

[He's been talking to others in the meanwhile, including direct messages from Natasha, and the more it's dragged on the more tired he's gotten. It keeps going, and going, and the one thing it comes back around to is that he fucked up, and that people are bound to freak out and get hurt because of it. It doesn't feel too great to go through.]

ok fine
natasha just knocked it into my head so good job you were right all along
everythings my fault and i should have never opened my mouth about any of it
"sorry"
i guess is what i should say
whatever

[John makes a frustrated noise that Davesprite obviously can't hear.]

Jesus Christ, that's not what I just said. You made a mistake. I didn't actually tell you to keep mum, though. Nothing that happens is your fault, but just be aware that this place is like a powder keg. Everyone here is waiting for the spark to set them off. Just be more careful if anything like this happens in the future.

[He and Nat can keep rephrasing it however they like, but it all boils down to the same thing in his mind. He said it, he let the cat out of the bag, and whatever results from it never would have happened if he hadn't said a word.]

i said whatever

[He's not feeling up to arguing it much more.]

And I'm trying to explain to you why stewing away in guilt is pointless. Because that's what you do. You feel guilty and then something bad actually does happen and it feels like everything's crushing down on you. You, you particularly, screwed every single bloody thing up.

It's not a good way to think, Davesprite. Don't start it.

dont project your problems on me

[He's stewing, alright. He's been stewing over a lot of stuff for a long time.]

You've got plenty of them, mate. I can just recognize them for what they are.

list them for me then
what issues does the bird dude have
tell me my life for me watson

I'm not here to play that game, lad. Look at our conversation. Maybe you were being facetious. Didn't seem like it.

saying i fucked up isnt me pouring out my heart about the massive guilt complex youve got
if rose ever shows up im pointing her at you
shed have a field day picking those neuroses apart

I don't have neuroses.

[He totally does.]

I'm a doctor and I'm a soldier. I've just seen things like that.

[He's also a terrible liar sometimes. Like now.]

what did i say about not bullshitting a bullshitter

Look, just take care of yourself, okay? And don't put any weight for this on your own shoulders. This is Bucky's fault and my fault, and anything that comes of it is with the pair of us.

sure

[It's not so easy as that, Watson, but he's not going to argue it further.]

[Nothing had better come of this. John doesn't know how much more he can take before he hits a complete breaking point.]

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[network] @username; text; night 164 [open]

private;

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