snowblindrpg | [log] Did the devil say to you, you can make it through [closed]

Entry tags:

[log] Did the devil say to you, you can make it through [closed]

Characters: Steph, Zach, Al, Church, Luna, Kesara, Watson, Quark, Tifa
Location Building 58 and environs
Date: Days 157/158
Summary: A meeting of many people
Warnings: In comment headers, please!

58: A simple single-story building, the snow weighs uneasily on it, and it creaks and groans under the strain at the best of times. It's very dark, and only the kitchen and living room are intact. The kitchen has a back door. Two snowmen have been built outside. A message has been written on the wall in blue ink: "Don't wreck the snowmen! That's super mean!" "ALPHONSE ELRIC, MAMI TOMOE, FREYA CRESCENT, GREED, EDWARD ELRIC, STEPHANIE BROWN, DAY FORTY ONE, TRAVELLING EAST." has been carved into one of the walls. The following has been written on the wall in blue pen: "This is Building 95 97 on the composite map. Contact @CaptSteveRogers for details." Underneath this is a fairly accurate map showing the house in relation to the school and buildings 29, 35, 35, 37, 40, 41, 47, 48, 50, 53. House 34 is labeled "Medical assistance; hot, clean water. Contact Dr. Epps @claytonator". The school is labeled "School. Food available in cafeteria; DO NOT STAY HERE OVERNIGHT." The shed is labeled "Shed".

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

And you kept reading once you realized it was personal. [Still a light tone, but Al may be able to sense the wall that John is pulling up between them, invisible and very thick.]

[There's nothing he can do about that, he doesn't expect Watson to trust him, but he has to try and offer what comfort he can.]

Mm. But none of the information had anything to do with being stuck here or how to get out, not really, so I would never use any of it. I'd never tell anyone it either.

[That's what he thought. John tries not to just shut down. Al is a kid, and a good kid from everything that he's seen, but that uncomfortable crawling sensation over his skin has intensified.]

You don't have to tell anyone. The Joker has a copy. He'll do it for everyone. Public servant that he is.

[Oh.

Well, he's not going to do anything stupid like reassure him that probably won't happen, because it probably will.]

Then-- I guess I need to catch up to him faster and confiscate his tablet until I can figure out how to delete it from there, huh?

[Okay, that's enough to have John looking over at Al again, expression incredulous.]

You need to stay away from that man. He's dangerous and already given you far too much trouble.

[No, Watson, this is not the take away from that. That was meant to be comforting and lighten the mood.

So he just chuckles awkwardly and waves a hand to dismiss it.]

I think that's getting a little off topic, what I mean is-- there's got to be a way to stop him abusing that document.

[It's exactly the take away, Al. Stop going after murderous psychos. Only John is allowed to do that.]

It's fine, Al.

[It's not fine.]

I can deal with it, myself. He's already taken what he wants from it, anyway.

[He supposes that's true. Erasing it from the Joker's tablet somehow won't erase it from his memory. He falls silent for a few moments, at a loss for what to say to potentially help. He doesn't know Watson that well, but he can't just sit by and watch someone suffer without at least trying to alleviate it. And he is suffering, even if he pretends not to be.]

I guess it's kind of a mess, huh?

[Not helping, but true.]

For what it's worth, I'm sure most people who read it don't think any less of you or the people you wrote about. I know I don't.

[John's gloved hands ball into fists for a moment. There's a not-insignificant part of him that wants to snap at Al that this isn't helping, just stop talking about it. He has enough to deal with between that and Alfie's death yesterday. But that's not going to help and it's not going to be entirely fair for Al.]

There are going to be people who think less of me, which is well within their rights. I shared secrets that weren't my own. The fact that I wrote them down in the first place is enough for some of them. You should be thinking less of me.

[And there are people who are going to think a lot less of him for falling in with a criminal like Alfie. There's that, too.]

But I don't.

[He shrugs. It's not hard to notice the tension, but Al wilfully doesn't draw attention to it, keeping his voice steady.]

Maybe I don't know you well enough to have my opinion of you impacted too much, but I think even if I did then it would still be unfair to judge you on this. There's nothing wrong with writing information down, especially when you don't expect it to be seen by anyone, and what happened was a mistake. You didn't share anyone's secrets maliciously.

[He sighs, spreading huge hands before him.]

I know this probably doesn't mean a lot coming from me; I'm just a stranger, and one you probably don't trust because I read it too. But sometimes secrets coming out-- it's not always the most terrible thing you might think it will be. People might surprise you.

[He knows they always have for he and Ed, he knows whenever his secret has been revealed that he's found people far more understanding than they ever should be.]

People turn once they think they know the story. [That's muttered, though it's more to himself. There's definitely a bitter edge to it. He pushes down old resentments to deal with the current problem.]

Sorry. I know they might. Yes. I'm not... I'll get over it Al. It's fine. Really. I'll deal with it and I'll get over it.

[Dealing with it will be easier. But John can pretend with the best of them.]

I'm British. We carry on.

You don't have to keep saying it's fine when it's obviously not.

[He's not fooled, not even a little.]

You said people turn, have they done that already?

[He hopes not.]

It will be fine. [There. Have your future tense, tin man. John's not really used to being the one who gets fussed over apart from a few select people. He falls silent for a few moments.]

No. It's not here. [It's here, too, but like hell is he telling Al about Tony and Natasha.]

[Will be fine isn't actually fine, and Watson had been kind to him the other day when he had been attacked over the network for his failings, so he's not about to give up.]

I'm so sorry, but I promise more people will surprise you than you know. Trust me, I've been kind of in your situation before.

[Okay, not exactly, but he does know what he's talking about.]

Really? When was that?

[Mainly, he's trying to turn the conversation away from himself.]

[Watson, no.

He might get the impression that Al is frowning down at him, even though his expression can't change.]

Back home, here too with a couple of people. There are things about me that I don't like people to know, but people have been a lot more understanding when they did find out than I thought they would be.

Like why you're in that suit of armor. [He's not unobservant, just relatively so compared to Sherlock. But everyone was unobservant compared to Sherlock. He had been in a league of his own.]

How are you doing with that? I heard you had another run-in with the Joker.

[Watson, yes. He has learned through many years how to quietly shift conversations when they get too personal for his liking.]

Edited 2016-09-16 15:18 (UTC)

[He stiffens a little, tiny clanking noise echoing down the ice tunnel.]

We're not talking about the Joker right now.

[Nope, he will not be deflected. Watson needs to know sometimes people can be trusted despite all the odds.]

But-- yeah, I understand because of my body.

[My body, not my armour.]

I never wanted anyone to know, but people kept finding out-- back home and here-- and even though they should be disgusted with me, even hate me, they keep surprising me. If you give them a chance, people will stand by you.

Given it doesn't sound like anything you did on purpose, I can't see why people would be disgusted with you, Al. You don't need to think that way. You're a kind, sweet, decent person. None of that changes because you're like that.

[I'm sorry, were you meaning to connect with him? Please have John earnestly reassuring you, instead, Al.]

I'm not asking for you to reassure me, Dr. Watson.

[He sounds kind of touched, but also amused.]

And for your information, it was something I did on purpose. I did something that I knew was wrong, and I paid the price for it.

[You're getting it anyway.]

What were you trying to make happen?

[Because ending up in a suit of armor clearly wasn't it.]

[He's not surprised by the question, and he already decided to tell Watson. Maybe it would help him understand that terrible secrets can be shared without the world ending, or maybe it would just make him feel better to be in possession of someone else's secrets since Al had all of his now.]

We were trying to bring our Mom back.

[He glances behind to make sure nobody else is in earshot before continuing.]

It's forbidden for an alchemist to try and create life, it's-- Alchemy is based on equivalent exchange, that means you can't create something without giving something of equal value in return. So to make a human... it wasn't just forbidden and immoral, it was deemed impossible too. But Brother and I thought we could do it anyway, that it would be our secret.

You see... our Mom died when I was five, Brother was six, and it was just us left. So we left school a year later and went on our own to find an alchemy teacher, and to study everything we could find about human transmutation. We tried it when I was ten.

[Four long years of effort, four years of trying to find a way to get their mother back, they wanted to see her smile again so badly.]

It didn't work.

[There's an understatement.]

The transmutation rebounded on us for the price needed, the equivalent exchange for a human soul. Brother lost his leg, and I lost my entire body. Ed gave up his arm to bind my soul to this suit of armour and save my life. But-- it didn't change what we did, and that what we made... it wasn't even human. What we did was unforgivable, and we're paying the price for it every day, but we're trying to make it right.

[He won't go into how, he's talked enough. So he just reaches out to try and lay a hand on Watson's shoulder comfortingly.]

It's been five years since then and some people know what we did, and yet we still have the support of so many wonderful friends that I can't believe how lucky we are. What I'm trying to say is that it might seem like it's too hard now, or that the worst has happened, but-- I promise, having your secrets exposed isn't always the end of the world. A lot of people will still stand by you - friends, even people you don't know that well.

[He can't smile, but the expression is there in his voice.]

I know I will, for what it's worth.

[That's very kind of you and all, Al, but John's full attention is wrenched over to Al with that story. Dear God does that ever explain a lot. And... 5 and 6? They'd lost her and went and studied up on something forbidden and... Al's spent 5 years, a third of his life like this. John does have the benefit of an expressive face, and there's nothing but sympathy now, his suspicious demeanor falling away.]

Al... you were just kids. And your mum. Of course that's not- no one would blame you for that. No one would blame either of you. You did something to try to get her back. You were ten. Of course that's forgivable. Of course, it is.

[He'll put his hand atop Al's larger one on his shoulder this time. At least John's not putting up a solid wall now? He's off on another issue, entirely.]

I'm so sorry people would expose that secret here or anywhere, but that's nothing for you to be ashamed of, Al. Just sounds horrible for the pair of you. I'm sorry.

Please don't be sorry.

[No, Watson, that was not the point of this story.]

I don't make excuses for what I did, and you don't have to either. We knew what we were doing was wrong, it's one of the worst crimes an alchemist can commit, and we did it anyway. But I'm sorry too, to have your secrets spiller like that isn't easy and you must feel scared. Just try to remember you'll move forward from it. You can move forwards from anything if you're determined enough.

Al, in my world, there's a reason we have different justice systems for adults and minors. You aren't fully responsible for your actions, not at that age.

And I already told you I'll be fine. Really. I'm dealing with it.

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