[log] clint barton's no good very bad week [closed]

[awwnoun]

Characters: Clint, Steve, Ecks, Natasha and Tony
Location: Building 108
Date: Days 155 and 156
Summary: Clint finally meets Steve face to face after he revives - and also finds Ecks again. Nat and Tony catch up the next day.
Warnings: Will update as necessary!

108: A standard single-story house with a kitchen, living room, dining room, bathroom, and bedroom. The bed in the bedroom is a loft-style bed, giving extra space for the desk beneath it. One of the desk drawers is empty, and the others have countless small plastic cases that look like they could have been SD cards, although there aren't any computer chips in them. These are only plastic shells.

Comments

[ecks]

You cannot pinky swear through a door. You have to touch pinkies to pinky swear.

[Or pretend over video, but never mind that. Point is, she'd have to open the door for him to pinky swear, and that's sort of the problem in a nutshell. She's silent a moment.]

Did you read Watson's thing?

[awwnoun]

You could just stick your hand out? You don't have to come all the way out

[ But he gets it. He sighs, and rests his forehead against the door. ]

I read it. I'm not gonna do anything to you because of it
Hey, listen, can you keep a secret maybe

[ecks]

I can keep secrets.

[A pause, as she's been furiously texting on her tablet.]

Doctor Watson says that I am scaring you.

[awwnoun]

No, you're not scaring me

[ He sighs, even if he can't make any noise. ]

Cause that's actually what my secret is
I used to hurt people all the time, I've killed people
But I stopped, even if it would be easier to do it
So you're not the only one ok?

[ecks]

[Someday, maybe, she won't be so surprised to learn that others have experienced the same things she has. Clint does not seem like someone who would hurt people.]

I used to hurt people where I was before this. I wanted to stop hurting people. I was here for weeks and weeks and I did not have to kill anyone, but then he --

[She clenches her hands on the desk shoved against her side of the door. She starts haltingly, but quickly picks up steam, the words tumbling out in an increasingly rapid run-on sentence.]

I did not think I wanted to hurt Duster -- I did not think I wanted to really hurt Duster, I wanted to scare him and make him sorry, but he was not sorry, he was not sorry at all and it was not difficult at all and then he was dead and Doctor Watson said it was wrong and it was not in my rule book and I do not know if I am sorry but I am not happy I did it like Duster said and if I do not follow my rules then my rules do not mean anything and I am dangerous like the other murderers.

[awwnoun]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[ Wow, that's a lot at once. He listens, though, to his credit, and sorts through it the best he can, typing as fast as his fingers can possibly go. ]

Ok. Ok, first off, you know you're allowed to make mistakes, right?
You can. You're learning how to do things the right way.
So you get that this is wrong and that you have a rule against it, which means you gotta try your best never to break that rule again, right?

Even people who have rules break them on accident
Doesn't make those rules any less valid or meaningful, ok?
The difference between you and the other murderers is you feel bad - you feel remorse about it, guilt. So you're not like them.
You don't wanna hurt people. It takes a while to train yourself out of that, ok?

[ecks]

[And, to Clint's credit, he gets her to listen. Ecks quiets down, though the blood is still rushing in her ears, and though she can't just agree with all of it.]

It was a big mistake. Duster died because I made a mistake and I do not know for sure that I would not do it again if I was with him again.

[She doesn't want to be like the other murderers, though. She has to hope that he is right. She doesn't want to be like Handsome Jack, or like the Joker, or even like Duster.

There's a scrape as she moves the desk far enough to crack open the door, and then her hand pokes through the opening, pinkie extended.]

[awwnoun]

Then maybe you oughta stay away from Duster, huh?

[ And he's gonna say more, but she stops him by scooting the desk away to pinky promise him, and like hell is he gonna leave her hanging. He reaches to link their pinkies together, making that promise. ]

[ecks]

[She crooks her pinky around his -- someone taught her how to do this right. Moments later, she withdraws her hand and moves the desk further out of the way, still standing on the other side of the door but letting it swing further open.]

I know that I should stay away from Duster. Doctor Watson said that he would not trust me with Duster anymore.

[awwnoun]

Well, yeah. You killed the guy, I wouldn't trust you to be around him either. But by what I hear about him, he's kind of a dick anyway, so you're better off.

[ He's gonna carefully scoot his way into the room with her if she'll let him, and sit on the desk so he can have a real conversation, here. ]

Do you wanna kill him again or no?

[ecks]

[She's hesitant at first, but she'll back up to let him through. She remains standing, head down but body needlessly tense.]

I do not want to kill him again.

[That isn't the whole story, though, and it's not what worries her.]

Right now I do not want to kill him again.

[awwnoun]

But you might in the future.

[ He gets that. ] You just have to not give in to the urge to do it. You're capable of that, I know it.

[ecks]

I do not know it.

[Her voice is devoid of bitterness. It's devoid of anything, really.]

I am trying, but I have been trying since I came here.

[awwnoun]

Well then I'll know it enough for both of us.

[ He huffs, though he still can't make sound. ] That's not something that goes away, the trying. It'll get easier, but once you get into it it's really easy to start up again. I believe in you, though.

[ecks]

Not ever?

[She knows that she is very young compared to many of the people here. Even Hsiaoke is older than her. If it is this hard to keep trying for a few months, how will she keep trying for decades?]

I hope that you are right, Clint Barton.

[awwnoun]

I have the same problem, promise. It gets easier. Someday you're not gonna think twice about not killing someone, okay?

[ Look, he'll even put out a pinky finger. So you know he's serious. ]

[ecks]

[He promises. He's even pinky promising -- and of course she'll take his pinky in hers. That is how they know they are serious about it.]

Okay. If you promise.