snowblindrpg | [log] clint barton's no good very bad week [closed]

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[log] clint barton's no good very bad week [closed]

Characters: Clint, Steve, Ecks, Natasha and Tony
Location: Building 108
Date: Days 155 and 156
Summary: Clint finally meets Steve face to face after he revives - and also finds Ecks again. Nat and Tony catch up the next day.
Warnings: Will update as necessary!

108: A standard single-story house with a kitchen, living room, dining room, bathroom, and bedroom. The bed in the bedroom is a loft-style bed, giving extra space for the desk beneath it. One of the desk drawers is empty, and the others have countless small plastic cases that look like they could have been SD cards, although there aren't any computer chips in them. These are only plastic shells.

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[ Clint is absolutely frustrated with how much he feels like he can't get his point across with text. It takes so long to type out what he wants to say that he feels like he's losing effectiveness. ]

It isn't about that and you know it
Its about me disagreeing with you and you - someone I consider a friend and a leader - telling me you can't trust me or I can't trust you because I have a different opinion
That's bullshit, Stark, we're not FORGETTING anything

I know, and that's why I'm saying we should just forget that talk. It didn't do anything except make everyone mad.

I'm clearly not where I thought I was, and, no, you can't trust me. What I said wasn't even- I was just angry at him because he said that we were collateral damage. Like it was our fault he'd accidentally sent that information to Natasha! And- and of course I'd read- I was as surprised as everyone else, but you know the others were reading it, and some of that could have just put targets on them. And he made it sound like we were the ones with the guns. He's teamed up with a man that used a knife to shut him up and keep him from investigating a murder, but we might be coming after innocent people based on some file we couldn't even confirm was true. And then you wanted to know what we'd done to him. I don't know what he told you.

What I said was stupid. I asked for your opinion. I wanted it. I don't want him to know about me, because he's acting on these impressions he has of us, and I can't get that out of my head. And Steve too.

[That came out a lot more awkwardly than he'd meant it to. He hadn't meant to say half of it at all, but there it is.]

I didn't mean what I said about you being on the team. I was just trying... I think I forgot how Avengers should be.

I didn't mean to imply you did anything to him

[ Is Clint's reply after a minute, his expression sour, still. ] He was panicked and scared and my instinct kicked in. I just didn't get a master manipulator sense out of Watson when I talked to him and I didn't want us to paint him as one just because he has a crime boss for a best friend

[ Clint sighs. Noiselessly, of course. He scrubs at his face and then types a bit more. ]

Stop telling me I can't trust you
Because I do
You're my friend before you're my teammate, Tony, you've just been being an asshole about it

No, you were right. You were concerned about him and you didn't know what I had said or done.

That's what it comes down to. You--none of you--know what I might do here. Thank God I'm still offline, because I don't know-

I've done a lot of things you don't know about. The obvious ones are just scratching the surface. Sooner or later, we're going to find out how right all of you are, and I hope that I'll be able to prove you wrong when that time comes.

But I just stood in a room with a ghost that told me that, in another world, it only gets worse.

That said, I don't trust someone that hides that much and then doesn't trust anyone else to read it. Maybe he knows more than he wrote down.

[At least he's calm now and not making wild accusations or throwing a fit.]

I asked Barnes what he thought. He said he'd talk to him, so maybe someone with more distance will have a better head for it. Anyway, I'm sorry for lashing out at you. It was unfair and out of line.

I mean a lot of it was private stuff. I don't think he was worried about us as much as he was worried about other people seeing it and deciding that revenge needed to be taken. He was scared about the Joker.

[ Clint has turned down the volume on his tablet, at least. ]

Its fine I accept your apology
I don't know what you mean by "how right all of you are"
Are you trying to make me not trust you or

I'd be worried about him too. I'm sure the Joker saw it and it's only a matter of time before he finds a way to use it. He wanted me to help him delete the file, but it was too late for that. I guess he thought I was refusing because it had information about me. I still think that the Joker will be the biggest problem. He's going to search actively for a way to make that file do the most harm. I don't know anyone enough to pick up what might be dangerous, but he will.

[It's a professional analysis. Like debriefing for SHIELD. Numbers are safe.]

No, you shouldn't trust me. You of all people shouldn't trust me, because you've seen some of what I'll do when pushed. I can't break into the Administrator's system. She's using nanites to control us, and maybe I don't want to break her security. I don't know. I wouldn't be able to tell if it were something like that.

I thought I was in control earlier, but when I started talking, all I could hear was him. Before I was just- [Okay, maybe talking about delusions is too much confession. He reels it back.] Anyway, I don't think they're entirely wrong. John said that we are what we are, and, given the bits we've been told, that doesn't carry a lot of hope. I believe John knows the same world that Steve does, and he was afraid of other people using his confidential file as a weapon.

[ Clint watches Tony closely through all of this. Look, he's not Natasha, but he's also not that bad at people. He'll tell Natasha about this later. Might not be too much of a surprise. ]

Don't tell me what to do

[ The tone is off because it's a tablet, but Clint kind of just gives him a look, stern but... mostly kidding. It's a joke. ]

You tried like once, that doesn't mean you can't break into the system.
Look that's not how you are now. For me, I mean, you're the Tony I know but further back so I'm having a hard time with this

[ He's trying to remember what, exactly, went on with Tony back then - he remembers a lot of it was Not Good, remembers everything having to do with the huge split, but... mostly, Clint's not really one to hold grudges. He wants to move past it, it's just that Tony hasn't even begun to, yet. ]

I've seen what you can do but I think you can be a better person than that if you try

Edited 2016-09-09 18:24 (UTC)

I'm not.

[He actually sounds slightly hurt, despite the attempt at humor. Tony avoids eye contact where he can, although he tries not to make it obvious. Looking toward Clint. At his forehead. At his nose. Not really into his eyes, but he's tired and that could just be the cold and general stress wearing him thin.]

Not how I am now.

[It's supposed to be comforting, he supposes. Except how he is now is just a step away from how he was. Each day is just one day where he didn't lose to something like mind-control or hacking or--surprise!--just some guy in a suit telling him he needed to sign on the dotted line to do a better job. Tony had thought he was beyond things like that. And he still believes that his actions were right for the most part. He has to believe that. The alternative is knowing that he's already lost that last day. Clint is telling him he can be better, which make him wonder if he hasn't already let that day slip by. He lets out a breath and surprises himself with the noise of exhaling.]

Thanks. I'll try.

[ Clint frowns at the slightly hurt tone. That's not what he wanted. And he doesn't want to shut Tony up either, doesn't want Tony to shut everybody out. That never ends well. For anybody. There's a long pause where Clint kind of just watches Tony, expression worried. ]

I know you're going to blow me off but while we're here together I'm gonna help you figure this out
However I can
You're a good guy, Stark, quit kicking yourself so hard

[It's sad that Clint is trying to help him. He was so angry just minutes before and he should be angry. Clint is just too nice, really. But that's what makes him a hero.]

Look, I don't need help. If anything happens, it's not like there's much you could do about it. Luckily, I highly doubt I'll be much of a piece to use in the long run, so we can count ourselves lucky for that much. I'm sorry I threw all that on you earlier. I was thinking clearly.

[ Oop. Here's that anger again. It's concern-anger. ]

for fuck's sake
You do realize you are a person right
You're a person with like feelings that matter not just some pawn on a team and every time you talk about yourself like you're not both Nat and I get more gray hair
I'm gonna be a silver fox by the end of this

Yes, I think I know what I am, but thanks for clarifying that point.

[Tony all but rolls his eyes. He respects Clint for his heart, the same way he respects Steve, but sometimes they can be downright frustrating in their crusade to paint him in a better light. He already lost one of them.]

Of course I have feelings. That's what I'm worried about. If I think I'm in control, I won't stop. I don't want any of you getting caught up in the wake of that.

Ok but I don't really care
Because you don't need to protect me from you, I'm a big boy who can look out for himself
Someone needs to call you on your shit, we both agree on that
So that's what I'm doing and I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to

[ So suck it, Tony. ]

You're a pain in the ass, you know that?

[He's arguing with a tablet voice. There's something so wrong about all of this.]

I don't need you wasting your energy to watch me.

[ He does know, and he's proud of it. Clint makes a face at him. ]

I'm not wasting my energy
You're afraid of what you might do? Then who is better to keep you in line than me and Nat
Nat especially but I'm kind of a package deal with her honestly so you're gonna have to take one for the team on that

[The look Tony shoots him is exasperated and angry again, but far too worn to actually fight. He's hit his limit, so his shoulders drop in defeat.]

You're going to do whatever you want to do anyway, so there's no use trying to talk you out of it. I trust you'll do the right thing if you have to.

[ See, if Clint just bullies Tony a little it's fine. ]

See now you're getting it
Don't make me do the schmoopy I care about you thing alright I've spent enough time trying to get through your thick stubborn skull

[ Will you accept a hand on your shoulder, Tony? Because that's what Clint's gonna do. ]

[Sadly the light bullying makes him feel better. It's the boundary he needs. As much as he argues with them at times, having Clint and the others push back keeps him grounded. He gives Clint a rueful attempt at a smile when he feels the hand on his shoulder.]

You make me angry. I trust your judgment, Clint, and I want you on my side.

[It's unfair and he knows it is.] I'm tired of having people I trust decide that I can't be trusted.

[ Good. The attempt at a smile is enough for Clint to grin a bit and squeeze Tony's shoulder, shaking him lightly before letting go. ]

I'm on your side right now, ok
Lets figure this stupid place out.

Right this second though you should probably take a nap, you look exhausted, man
I could just knock you out if it's easier

[ Okay, that's a joke. ]

I'm fine. I- There's something I have to do.

[As if Tony could sleep at all after getting so worked up. He's exhausted, yes, but there's no relaxation left to gain. Steve has walked out, he got into a fight with his friends, and he doesn't know what to think of Watson after he started trusting him.

And then there's Al. What is he going to do about that?]

Thank you, Clint. I'm glad we were able to talk. Really talk.

Yeah. Get some rest at some point today, alright, that's all I ask.

[ He gives Tony a little smile and another pat on the shoulder before turning to move out of the room. ]

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[log] clint barton's no good very bad week [closed]

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