[log] I'm Stuck in Hell [closed]

[rubikscomplex]

Characters: House, the Joker, and Wilson
Location Building 29/30
Date: Day 141/142
Summary: House had been hoping to escape from the Joker. Unfortunately he ran into the second person he least wanted to see in proximity to the Joker: Wilson. They escape manage to escape from him. Doctor power!
Warnings: The Joker is his own warning, as is House. Violence is likely during the escape.

Comments

[harlequinofhate]

[The Joker looks back and forth between the two men.

They're talking and it doesn't seem like they're talking about him. How annoying.]

Yes, well, this story is terribly boring. Let's talk about something else. Like the number of times Greg here has kakked it.

It's more than zero!

[oh_negative]

[Wilson nods as House speaks. Making a break for it early tomorrow is clear enough, and that bit about locking her up doesn't sound familiar, so that's likely the plan. The part in the middle... He's not so sure. Maybe it's irrelevant, just filler meant to distract the Joker, but this is also House. Does he have a taser? If his memory serves, though, a taser was actually part of the diagnosis...

In any case, he figures he's got the important bits.]

Ah, sorry. The practice of medicine isn't nearly as glamorous as one might imagine. It's an awful lot of paperwork, but sometimes clinic duty will shake things up. [He gives House as meaningful of a look as he can manage without attracted the Joker's attention. Listen carefully.]

You get all sorts of crazy things in the clinic. Stab wounds, overdoses, BDSM gone wrong... You know, one time I even had a patient that managed to accidentally mix ammonia and bleach. The idiot gassed himself. Can you believe that?

[His bag, House. Do not let the Joker get ahold of his bag.

He chuckles and shakes his head like he's remembering good times.] Anyhow, yes, I've heard House has been rather busy lately.

[rubikscomplex]

[Oh, Jesus Christ, Wilson. On the one hand, having ammonia and bleach is useful. On the other, he'd really rather not give that to the clown. The Joker hadn't looked through Quark and Luna's things, so House can hope he's just the lucky guy the Joker's decided to make his pet. Oh, joy.]

I'd believe it, but if we're talking clinic, the naughty nun was way more fun.

[That's mostly just to get the Joker's focus off the ammonia and bleach.]

And we want something even more interesting, how about we talk about that time America beat the crap out of you? I still haven't heard the full, gory details. I'm a horror movie guy. Call it academic interest.

[Call it also distracting by being petulant.]

[harlequinofhate]

He hit me with a bat. But that's just an occupational hazard when you're a clown.

Some folks don't get the joke. And bats hit you.

[Joker drops his head into his chin and smiles.]

At least I don't have an addiction that almost ripped the whole dang town apart, what was going with that?

[oh_negative]

[Wilson's not sure if he's supposed to get anything out of the nun reference. He vaguely recalls that case, but he doesn't remember the details beyond all the questions over whether or not House administered the right amount of epinephrine. Is that the clue?

He glances at the Joker. Hm. Medical mystery. The issue with the nun had something to do with allergies, he remembers, and the usual treatments for allergies didn't work. Wilson's not sure how that one shook out in the end, but the best he can guess from House's reference is that there's no point in worrying about the Joker's health. The usual medical approach isn't going to do much here.

Wilson briefly zones out of the conversation as he tries to riddle out the puzzle, but he figures House is done with clues anyway. It's not like Wilson would be able to pick up on subtle hints in references to events he wasn't around for.

At the Joker's mention of House's addiction causing some, um, tension, he checks back in. What's up with that? But Wilson doesn't say anything. Instead, he shoots a look at House. Do tell.]

[rubikscomplex]

[House's gaze flicks over to Wilson only briefly before focusing on the Joker.]

Ever been through detox in the middle of a winter hellscape while you're physically crippled in a way that already makes it hard to get anywhere? [There's an irritated edge to his voice.] Super fun prospects. Some asshole stole my Vicodin, taunted me, and didn't give it back when I gave him an ultimatum. I made sure he regretted it.

[harlequinofhate]

Aw, he's being so modest.

[He looks at Wilson.]

Housiekins shared someone's darkest secret on the network then a vampire beat the heck out of him. Folks have had issues trusting each other ever since.

I'm actually kinda impressed. He causes almost as much mayhem as me.

[oh_negative]

[Wilson isn't quite sure how all of this fits together, but all of it does sound like House... And he may as well use this opportunity to dig up some intel while they keep the Joker distracted.]

I see. This sounds like a very interesting story.

[rubikscomplex]

[House can't help the reflexive eye roll at Wilson's comment.]

You can read the whole thing on the network. In fact, why don't you do that? I'm hungry and about to eat dinner, thanks. I'm assuming you're gonna steal my food anyway, clown, so come get it.

[He can give Wilson a temporary reprieve from the Joker, perhaps, and it might give House a chance to claim the seat next to the other doctor while the Joker is preoccupied. House isn't actually hungry. He's never hungry these days, even with as little as he eats. With Wilson's arrival, he's been making more of an effort to eat anyway.

House turns from the other men and crouches down to dig school rations out of his pack.]