snowblindrpg | [network] @ASolomons; audio, morning of 127 [open]

[When the morning comes and Watson is gone, it's not really a surprise - Alfie had woken him up in the middle of the night for a "discussion" at scalpelpoint, after all. He figures that Watson had snuck out as soon as lockdown ended, purposefully not waking Alfie. That's fine. Alfie has warmer clothes now, and better shoes. He needs that far more than he needs company.]

Good morning. How's Kesara's tunnel coming along? 'Cause I'm headed in that direction today.

[And aren't you all just thrilled about that.]

Yeah, I should get there in four or five days. Big discovery like this, I'd guess there's a lot of people in the area, and I thought it'd be a good idea to talk a bit more with all of you - find out who's digging, and who's staying where. Because the thing I do not want, right, is to walk into a pileup - five, six, seven people trying to cram into one house for the night. I would like some confirmation of coordination.

[And he talks, he's heading for the door, giving the little room a quick once-over with the tablet light to make sure he's not leaving anything behind.]

I'm seeing on the map there's two houses very close by, and a few more that are only a bit further. Might I reserve myself a spot in--

[But he cuts himself off, because he's tried the door, and it's still locked. He double-checks the time. It's definitely after lockdown is supposed to be over.

There are a few explanations here. Two stand out to him as being the most likely.]

Right - bit of a problem here, yeah; I'm having a bit of an unexpected issue. Either lockdown has been extended and Dr. Watson has been spirited away in the night, or he's found a way to lock me in. So I ask you - are any of the rest of you experiencing this, or should I be considering it a punishment for my very naughty misdeeds?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[The clown switches to video, and to a private conversation. He's sitting in a corner somewhere and the poor lighting does at least reveal that he looks as sick as he sounds.

He winks at the camera and starts unbuttoning his shirt with his free hand.]

[House stares for a long moment. He'll even acquiesce to audio because what the hell?]

Are you about to show me a really cool growth you think might be a malignant tumor? 'Cause I kiiiiinda don't need your clothes off to diagnose the pneumonia, dude.

[Once he has his coat and shirt unbuttoned halfway he reaches in to the folds and pulls out a plastic vial which he holds over the tablet camera, close enough that House can see that it's labeled as Vicodin.]

Would you help me for a Scooby Snack?

[There's silence. Mainly because the Joker suddenly has House's undivided attention. He's getting more Vicodin from Solomons. He technically has a steady supply from that angle. He has several month's worth at this point. They probably only have another three or four months left before this place eats itself.

But if he can get more that will buffer him if he needs a little extra... or if assholes like the Joker try to steal from him again.]

Show me what's inside. I never trust the dressing.

Oh, ye of little faith.

[There is some shuffling as the Joker twists the cap off and taps a few tablets out into his gloved palm.

He shows them off. It is, indeed, Vicodin.]

Deal.

I'm stipulating that you leave all of that at a place downtown and let me know exactly where. I'll send someone down to get it. They find it and you don't kill 'em, I'll write you your script.

A dead drop, House?

Don'tcha trust me?

See, when you say it like that, I just think of dropping dead.

Still got your calling card, babe. Not looking to make it a pair.

Well, poop.

I had a different idea.

See, I was thinking you should come to me. I need an exam.

I need...someone to take care of me.

Used to have a guy for that but now, well, he's kinda dead.

[He reseals the vial.]

[House lets a long, judgmental silence pass.]

Well we both know that's not happening. I don't take care of people. I'm an asshole like that.

BAH!

Useless.

[He waves the vial in the air.]

I'll just toss this, then, I sure won't be needing it.

Pain never bothered me.

[God damn it.]

One exam. I'm not sticking around. And I'm bringing someone with me.

Oh, no, sir, you are not.

You're coming alone.

And you're not gonna tell a soul about it.

[And that's not happening. But hey, everyone knows he's a liar. Be it upon Joker's own head. He'll haggle a little more to keep up appearances, at least.]

Yeah, so what guarantee do I have you won't just drag me off with you then, stud? I know I'm hot and you want my body.

You want my body.

[He gestures towards his open shirt then starts coughing.]

Really, ya do.

You like puzzles. You don't think charting the progress of MN hoozits in person is worth doing?

I think there are patients who are less likely to shank me in the night.

... You'd need to come up near the school. I'm not lugging the microscope downtown.

You can drag it wherever you dang well please and you know it.

Well where do you wanna meet? Since apparently you're gonna be a whiny bitch about it.

Post office.

[At least then he can trap House downtown.]

Just let me know when you're nearby, Doc, and I'll be there in a jiff.

Do come alone, and no funny business. Mmkay?

You mess with me again and I promise you'll regret it.

[That's going to be a problem from the tunnels side...]

I'm giving you one exam. I'll decide later if I wanna do more. We're not traveling together after that.

[There are a couple of nearby buildings from the post office. He can hit one of those and then contact the Joker to meet at the post office. Along with other people.]

Just so you know, Doc, for once I'm not trying to kill ya. Or anyone else.

I just want this nasty bug out of my system.

But if I show up and you set some dogs on me again I'll kill 'em. Then you.

Then things will get much more annoying.

Don't ever say I'm not generous. I'm giving you the chance to end any carnage before it begins!

[The image of Al stabbed over and over again, blood pouring out of his armor, Joker spraying House's face with acid, pain as his own makeshift weapons had been turned against him, running scared... not making. All of that flashes through his mind. He'd seen Al after the Joker's escape from custody, as well. In spite of himself, House has to turn his tablet off briefly to take a shuddering breath and compose himself. This. This is why he wants to be nowhere near that man.

But when the tablet comes on again, his tone is light, nonchalant.]

Well, take all the fun out of it! Whatever, clown. Just stick to the not kidnapping me thing, I'll hold up my end of the bargain. Post Office. It'll be awhile. Helping Freamon with her tunnel and it'd look wicked suspicious of I ran off before that was done.

[network] @ASolomons; audio, morning of 127 [open]

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[private] cw: reference to graphic violence and blood