[network] @besame; night 122; end of the line [open]

[1946redvelvet]

[When the video starts, it shows Peggy's face; she's not looking at the camera, but the way her jaw is clenched and how she keeps on taking deep, hard breaths betrays how upset she is. As background noise, the sound of her nails clicking against the wood of the table she's sitting at is loud, rhythmic. Her hair is disheveled, and there are tracks of mascara down her cheeks, clumped around the corner of her eyes. She's looking haggard.

She's trying to find the right words, and she's trying not to break down in front of the whole town of Norfinbury.

She knows Steve was important to a lot of people, and that he tried to keep the peace. She knows she has to do this, to tell everyone before the Admin comes out with an impersonal message. She was there; she saw it, she saw him, and she couldn't do a thing to stop him. Her heart lies in tatters at the bottom of her stomach, the guilt bringing fresh new tears to her eyes.

Losing him once was already too many times.

Running a hand under her nose, unattractively sniffling, Peggy turns to the camera, hoping her eyes are not so red-rimmed that they betray just how much she's been crying.]

This isn't an easy message to send. [Peggy lets out a chuckle, sounding watery and weak. She takes another deep breath.]

Steve is gone. He - [A pause, pain twisting in her chest some more, feeling like she's being carved hollow.] We were attacked, and he - he died. Steve is dead.

[This time, she can't help the tear that falls, even if she brushes it off quickly, smearing yet more mascara over her cheek. Saying the words out loud somehow makes it all the more real, the images replaying in her head as she sits there, holding her tablet and broadcasting the words to the whole of Norfinbury.]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't - I couldn't save him.

[There's so much she wants to say; she knows that he meant a lot to a lot of people, but he meant the world to Peggy, and she's just lost her heart and her will in one fell swoop. Peggy looks away from the camera once more, the back of her fingers to her mouth. The video feed cuts as a strangled sob escapes her lips.]

Comments

@jwatson; video

[jumpthegun]

[Today? Today can go ahead and shove itself. Angel, Rhys, so many other people, a man dying while they watched, and now Steve. For the grief and helplessness John feels, though, he knows Peggy must be feeling it worse. He keeps his voice quiet so-as not to disturb the others. John looks rather haggard from today's ordeals, but he does his best to look calm and collected.]

Ms. Carter I'm so very sorry for your loss. We'll be heading out of the tunnels in the next few days. Are you still near the entrance? I'd like to meet up with you, if we can.

[She needs to be with someone.]

[action]

[bookofnope]

[It's the nature of the beast in Norfinbury that information spreads. Even though his own tablet is a little pile of twisted metal and bits of glass - thanks ever so much, House, destroying everything in his path - Beckett hears Peggy's voice from John's tablet, gets the gist of the message even as he finds himself trying not to listen, not to hear. One more.

How many is it up to, now, in one day?

He doesn't want to get out from under his blanket. He doesn't want to move. But he stands up and shuffles over anyway, hovering over John's shoulder, looking down with hooded eyes. He and Steve had so much unfinished business...]

[His voice is very low, careful.] Pardon me, doctor, can I borrow this for a moment?

[action]

[jumpthegun]

Yeah. Go ahead. [John just hands his tablet over to Beckett. There's no reason not to.]

video to Peggy

[bookofnope]

[A quick nod of thanks, and Beckett takes up the tablet, now appearing to Peggy on the screen. He too looks rather a mess, bloodied and hollow-eyed. Good thing he's already pale as death as a standard feature.]

Ms. Carter. [He clears his throat.] Peggy. I'm sorry. He deserved much better.

[1946redvelvet]

[Peggy's breath hitches when Dr Watson's face comes into view on her tablet. He's looking as good as she feels, but his eyes are kind, his voice is soft, his words are gentle. Peggy swallows hard.]

Thank you, Doctor.

I've been walking a little...aimlessly. It happened this morning, and since, it's all been a bit of a blur, but I continued the way we were going, so I imagine I'm closer, yes. I can sort of see the gas station from where I am.

[It's nice, to think about something else. Something practical. Not the look on Steve's face, just before he was...taken - by the anomaly.]

[jumpthegun]

All right. We should reach the entrance to the tunnels in two days if the weather holds and we don't run into any more anomalies. We'll head east toward you. How are you doing on supplies?

[He'll just keep her focused on some practical matters, what she still can do, what she needs to do. He knows that Peggy is a soldier... it's what he'd want. Some purpose and focus. But his voice is still gentle when he speaks.]

[1946redvelvet]

I could do with some restocking of food. The weather is still good; I might be able to get to the school and get some food there, and then I'll be just north of the tunnels when you come out.

[It's nice, to be good at maps. She pulls out House's map on her tablet, looking through it. Yes, it should be doable this way, if they get to keep walking as much as they have in recent days. She can do it.]

How are you for food? I have extra carrying capacity.

@j; audio; private

[advanced]

[Bucky doesn't know what snapped him out of the Soldier, but he knew he was grateful that it happened before he reached Steve. And now it seems it didn't matter anyway, that Steve was fated to die regardless.

It makes his heart twist inside him. Grief, sharp like a serrated blade, tears through him and makes his throat feel tight. He can see Steve, skinny and small, standing up after being hit down so many times and refusing to stay down. He should be getting up again now. There should be nothing in the world that could keep Steve Rogers down.

He regrets not contacting him, and at the same time he's glad. Glad that Steve didn't have to be in the line of fire for this last loss of control. It's better for his friend that he was with others who he could trust. Bucky assumes that Steve would have warned Peggy that he was here and, apparently, gunning for them both. So, for once, he doesn't take the precaution of text. This is too important.

Besides, his hands are shaking too much to type.]

I'm sorry.

@besame; voice; perma-private

[1946redvelvet]

[The voice is familiar, in a way Peggy can't quite place. She replies to him in the way he communicates, just because she knows that he is quite a flighty, paranoid person, and she doesn't feel like having a fight today. She has no fight left in her.

She's not sure why he's replying; maybe he and Steve talked some. Still, she appreciates the sentiment, and she appreciates that he's talking to her, and not just sending her a typed message.]

Thank you, J. Did you - did you and Steve get to talk much?

[She can't help herself; she's a curious being, it makes her a great spy.]

[advanced]

[Steve didn't tell her?

That doesn't seem right. But then, he doesn't know that Steve was suffering with his own ill effects after the dream and there hadn't been time. He still hasn't really equalled what happened to him with the dreams yet. So either Steve really didn't tell her, something he can't quite believe, or she's trying to help him keep his anonymity.

But why?

He doesn't know how to handle this situation, it already feels like a mistake to have contacted her.]

No, he tried.

[He swallows and it's hard to do it, like the air gets trapped in his throat.]

He'll come back, right? That's how it works here.

[It's how it's already worked. He's seen Tifa and Cloud talking to others, as if their deaths were just a bad dream. It doesn't take away from the horror that they died, though.]

@Spoiler ; private video

[spoileralert]

[ Steph's voice is quiet. She's not sure she wants to share a secret that isn't hers with Al or Tim, but if Peggy was brave enough to use video she feels like she owes her the same in return. ]

Was it Bucky?

@besame; video; perma-private

[1946redvelvet]

[Shocked, Peggy stares at the camera for a moment, her brain refusing to process the words, the name. That name. Bucky; was it Bucky? Is -

Peggy goes back to her conversation with Steve about Bucky, on Christmas morning, when he told her about the torture, the brainwashing, HYDRA. Bucky's still alive - Bucky was on ice, Bucky tried to kill him, Bucky Bucky Bucky.

Peggy snaps back to the moment, licks her lips as she tries to come up with an answer.]

It - no. It wasn't. Bucky is here? Is he all right? Did Steve - did Steve know?

[Did Steve even know? They barely managed to speak at all in the few days following the new arrivals, and -

Oh. Oh. Things are starting to click into place.]

[spoileralert]

[ First she's relieved. Then she freezes, thinking she's royally fucked up. And either way, Steve is still dead. What is there to be relieved about? That it isn't her fault? ]

He didn't tell you? I-- I'm not sure I should.

[ What the hell is etiquette here, it's Steve's secret and Steve is dead and Bucky may or may not be dangerous and Steve may or may not come back. What do??? ]

@gravedigger; voice

[harlequinofhate]

Well, gee, it's about time.

What kinda critter was it?

[1946redvelvet]

The kind that would kill you, too, if there was any justice in this town.

(let me know if this is okay!)

[harlequinofhate]

HAH! Yeah, but there isn't.

If there were any justice around here I'd be able to get a decent meal. And a new coat. I'm thinking something in lavender.

[He coughs.]

Answer the question. What'd it look like? Did it do anything?

I'm trying to figure out if these beasties change with the time. Or us.

@lockhart; voice; private

[powersouls]

[Tifa is exhausted. Too exhausted to be as comforting as she usually is, but she tries to keep her voice quiet and soothing. There's a tired edge to it still, but there's nothing she can do about that.]

I'm so sorry. Are you...

[She trails off awkwardly, but nothing she can think up is worth saying. Peggy obviously isn't all right, and Tifa knows there's not much she can say to make any of it better.]

Is it... was it an anomaly?

[The question pops out before she can stop herself. Usually she wouldn't ask, but she can't get the thought of Bucky getting to Steve out of her head.]

[1946redvelvet]

Oh, darling, didn't you just - oh, Jesus. [Peggy's not making sense, and she knows it. She just doesn't want to ask about Tifa having been dead herself so recently, being alive now, she doesn't want it to give her hope that Steve will come back. Just because others have doesn't mean he will.]

I'm glad to see you are back, Tifa. It - [Getting to the question, Peggy nods.] It was, yes. Steve died protecting me from an anomaly.

[A small voice at the back of her head says, and I hate him for it, because she's selfish, and it's unfair.]

[powersouls]

[Tifa exhales. It doesn't surprise her. Of course Steve died protecting someone else.]

But you're okay? I mean...

[So many people have died in the last few days, and she's not going to let herself think too carefully about the fact that Steve is one of them. If she doesn't distance herself from it she knows she's going to start crying, and that wouldn't be fair to Peggy.]

If you need to talk, or... If you need anything, I'm here.

Private Video | @Summoner

[ninjainviolet]

[ Look who's no longer a kid just in time to hear this. ]

Peggy... I am so sorry.

And you can't blame yourself.

[ It goes nowhere; she knows. ]

[1946redvelvet]

[When she sees Sheena's face, Peggy is glad she's sitting down; if she'd been standing up, she's sure she would have collapsed. She's just so tired, she's so sad.]

Steve would say the same thing, you know? He kept on telling everyone it wasn't their fault, and would take the blame in on himself. So pointless.

[She's not angry at anyone but herself, but she could slap Steve anyway.]

[ninjainviolet]

[ Sheena understands, Peggy. ]

If that's true, then listen to what he'd say. This isn't your fault.

But I will agree that it happening in the first place is pointless.

[ Slap him when he comes back... Right before hugging him. ]

@LELRIC; audio

[armoured]

[It hits Al like a punch to the gut every time this happens.

Some people have become used to it over the months, but Al just can't. No matter how long he's been here, no matter how many people he's lost, he can never get used to death. It's worse with the uncertainty of revival thrown in the mix. Worse knowing that even if he does see his friends again, their lives will have been bought with a terrible price.

His voice is shaky, quiet.]

I'm so sorry.

[He knows what it's like to lose a loved one to an anomaly.]

Are you-- are you hurt?

[1946redvelvet]

[Hearing Alphonse's voice, even this shaky, even this sad, sends something akin to relief through Peggy's limbs. There's a thought that flies through her brain, something that tells her, at least Steve didn't do all of this for nothing. At least other people survive, other people keep on fighting, on having the same ideals. Alphonse is one of them, to Peggy.

He still sounds so young, so small, and she wants to hug him close, tell him it's okay. She never thought herself extremely maternal, but Alphonse, and Quark, and Frisk; they wake these feelings in her. They make her want to protect them.]

THank you, Alphonse. I'm - okay. I'm not hurt. [She's been feeling ill, but it's not a new thing. Dizzy spells, some issues with balance - nothing she isn't used to, even if she hasn't bumped her head recently.]

[armoured]

Good.

[About the only thing in this whole situation that could be classified as good. Not that she probably feels the same way, it's even worse to be a survivor with no actual injury, makes the guilt more intense.

He knows that all too well.]

Are you travelling with anyone else? You shouldn't-- you shouldn't be alone right now.