[network] @gravedigger; We shall see that at which dogs howl in the dark; video; Evening 107 [open]

[harlequinofhate]

[For the first time the Joker shows his face to the Network. His features are gaunt, slightly crazed, and oddly clown-like.

He smiles into the camera almost flirtatiously and waves with his fingertips.]

Hello, honeys, it's your pal Jack White here... Or the Joker. Jeepers me, I guess that little secret is out by now.

[He coughs into his fist.]

Anyhoo, let me get to the point.

By now everyone is probably deciding that the next logical step is to dig deep.

Before you all grab your shovels and ice picks I advise you to think.

[He taps the side of his head.]

Don't go doing anything crazy now! Hahah...

If you do, you might find the punchline to this whole cruel gag is not terribly funny.

[A thoughtful pause.]

Oh, and if anyone sees the United States tell him I think he has my stuff. I want my stuff back.

Comments

[rubikscomplex]

if this is the middle of "i have no mouth, and i must scream" i'm gonna be really pissed
where's the chinese supercomputer, though?

let's say it is andromeda
what's the endgame?
we can't get out of this town
if it's a program, if it really is some kind of game or experiment
we need to meet the win or completion conditions
or just blow the program up
you don't seem to be a fan of that, though

we're being led toward the city center
we can worry about digging or not once we get there and see what we have to work with

[harlequinofhate]

Maybe we're in War Games and the secret to winning is not to play?

[Something between a sigh and a giggle. Not playing isn't very fun.]

Of course my solution is cheating. Hard work and cheating.

If the game is rigged against us then hack the game.

I intend to get to the Town Hall. It's the digging part that might be a lousy idea.

[rubikscomplex]

i'm pretty much physically incapable of not playing where interesting puzzles are involved
addict, remember?

good to know we're on the same page, though

you actually know anything about hacking or are we relying on angelcakes, rhysie, and the dog girl?

[harlequinofhate]

I am an expert hacker.

Just not when it comes to computers.

[rubikscomplex]

you seemed more like a twister to me when we were playing
but it's good to have more than one skill in the toolbox for murder
i mean if it's your day job and all

unfortunately that makes you useless for this
but thanks for the punnery
i'll call up the dog first if we need her

[harlequinofhate]

I mean I'm a bio hacker.

Which, yes, includes some limb severing but I also breed cultures under my fingernails.

[He grins and hooks his fingers at the camera.]

And I am an expert engineer.

My point, Doc, is I am a scientist. A killer and a scientist.

You need me if you want to find the punchline to all of this. Sorry to break it to ya.

[rubikscomplex]

[Gnarly. Also incredibly gross.]

well, that's letting you ever scratch me right off the table

also
anybody ever tell you
you've got this, like, massive ego thing going on?
pot and kettle
but seriously, dude

[harlequinofhate]

Well that's why you and I get along. We're so much alike.

[rubikscomplex]

except the whole murdering psychopath racket
wonder what your medical record would say about that
apparently the admin thinks i'm depressed

[harlequinofhate]

Does she? Well, happiness isn't a sustainable condition anyway, Doc.

But if you need laughter in your life, well, I can help with that...

[rubikscomplex]

well, gee
as horrifying as that offer sounds
i think i'll pass

[harlequinofhate]

Poo.

Why? You're not still angry that I stabbed you in the chest, are you?

[rubikscomplex]

angry isn't the right word for it
dicking around with you and telling you no is fun, though

[harlequinofhate]

[He waves a warning finger at the camera.]

I've killed people for less than that, you know.

[rubikscomplex]

[House bristles automatically, in spite of himself.]

you kill elric?
because there's no way in hell you're still with him right now if he hasn't piped up once in all of this

[harlequinofhate]

Now why would I do something like that?

[rubikscomplex]

to escape
because it was funny
because you were bored
dude
i can think of a laundry list of reasons
yes or no?

[harlequinofhate]

America whacked my noggin really hard, honey.

I can't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning.

[He squints.]

...Did I have breakfast this morning?

[rubikscomplex]

guess i'll just ask him or wait for the obits, babe
terrified to know you're back on the street, though
stay alive
i don't want you respawning anywhere near me

[harlequinofhate]

Well then I have some terrible news for you.

[rubikscomplex]

if you're dying, go whine at epps
he likes defending and healing the crazies
he'll throw himself on a sword or something if he thinks he can use the opportunity to manipulate you

[harlequinofhate]

HAH!

Who's whining?

[rubikscomplex]

fine
if you're dying, go hack on epps

[harlequinofhate]

You think I wanna off Epps?

[rubikscomplex]

are we really doing this?
go cough on him
you guys can share cooties
think he's still got a ~mysterious cold~