[network] @gallowsCalibrator; voice; backdated to 102 night [open]

[iustitia]

This is a public service announcement courtesy of your friendly neighborhood troll, reporting now for the Dragonyy'yd News Network. I am deigning to use voice here so that no one can get uppity about not being able to read my quirk even though it's just a simple alphanumeric substitution, that's how serious I am! Potentially disturbing news will be mentioned, so audience discretion is advised!

I am afraid that I will not be the bearer of any good news tonight. Zach, Kesara, and I have been heading towards the tunnels to get downtown these past few days. Earlier today, we ran into professional douchebag Handsome Jack. There was an altercation between him and Zach, and Zach... didn't make it. Kesara was injured in the crossfire, but fortunately suffered no life-threatening injuries. She got a pretty nasty bump on the head, though, and will be under close supervision Jack was also killed shortly after the fight. Please check your local morgues for a follow-up on this event.

This has been Terezi Pyrope with the DNN. Please call or mail in if you desire further details on this story.

[Terezi pauses for a moment before continuing.]

My condolences for those who know Zach. I hope he revives soon.

Comments

action;

[fairygodtroll]

Oh my god could you have announced that in a dorkier way. My only comfort is that I was mercifully unmentioned, and therefore nobody can associate this shameful display with the quality content they have come to expect from me!

[ Yyyyyyeah someone's still sulking because okay Jack being a douchebag is pretty fucking legit ]

action;

[iustitia]

I am presenting the facts in an official and unbiased way. Professionalism is important!

Also, I didn't know how much you wanted to be connected in the killing of a guy you've been pretty vocal about defending. I can be open about that if you'd like!

action;

[fairygodtroll]

Bullshit fakey-fake made-up news networks for wigglers have absolutely nothing to do with professionalism! For one thing, you don't have the buttery-smooth vocal caress of a legitimate newsbearer. You didn't even cut to the weather afterwards! So inauthentic.

[ HURRGrhgHRGHRGhhhhhhhhhhhh. Time to overdramatically flop onto the floor like a wiggler preparing for a tantrum? YEAH. ]

And shut your flaps, I don't want to be in your shitty dumb report. Because it sucks! Not because everybody will jump on me to say I was wrong about Handsome Jack, which I only kind of was.

action;

[iustitia]

What is there even to say about the weather! I think it is pretty clear by now that today, tomorrow, and the week after that are all going to be cold enough to freeze your shameglobes off! Nobody needs me to tell them that.

[poke. poke poke poke. really vriska?]

Only kind of???

@lockhart; voice

[powersouls]

[This is kind of infuriatingly vague, especially since it concerns Jack. Angel had been so insistent that Jack wouldn't target anyone else, and even if she was wrong on that, Tifa had been hoping that at least he wouldn't be targeting multiple people so quickly. And to think Kesara was hurt...]

"An altercation"? What do you mean? What happened?

@gallowsCalibrator | voice

[iustitia]

When we ran into Jack in the tunnels, Zach started a fight. Jack defended himself with deadly force.

[powersouls]

[TEREZI PLEASE. DEETS.]

He what? Do you know why?

[Was Zach trying to take Jack in again or something?]

[iustitia]

He was super mad. Which is reasonable, because. You know. Jack.

I don't know if it was anything specific or recent. He seemed pretty edgy while we were in the tunnels! This is just conjecture, but he might have just been itching for a fight.

voice; @frfujimoto

[lionson]

[He is facepalming so hard right now, but thankfully this is a voice connection so Terezi can't see that.]

Damn kid, I should've known he would do something stupid.

@gallowsCalibrator; voice

[iustitia]

[Not like Terezi would have been able to see him, even if he had. She's blind, remember???? >:] ]

Same, tee-bee-aych. I should have stopped him before he got too far.

[lionson]

[O rite, the blind thing.]

I'll be sure to give him an earful when he comes back. He really overdid it. You have to work as a team to stop Jack, one person alone isn't enough.

[iustitia]

As much as he deserves it, I think he knows on his own by now how much he screwed up. I'm not sure how helpful a lecture will be!

Not that that's going to stop me from yelling at him to be more careful, too.

@Ecks | text

[ecks]

Did Zach break Handsome Jack's nose?

@gallowsCalibrator | text

[iustitia]

UH
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
1 DONT TH1NK SO!
Z4CH GOT H1M 1N TH3 F4C3 PR3TTY GOOD, BUT 1 TH1NK 1T W4S ON TH3 J4W
WHY DO YOU 4SK >:?

@Ecks | permatext

[ecks]

[Oh! She had forgotten!]

W3 W3R3 SUPPOS3D TO BR34K H1S NOS3 IF W3 S4W H1M
4ND STR1K3 H1M 1N TH3 GRO1N 1F H3 TR13D TO CHOK3 4NYON3

TH343 W343 1NSTRUCT1ONS

[iustitia]

OH!
D4NG, 1 W1SH 1 H4D R3M3MB3R3D
SUR3 WOULD H4V3 L1K3D TO G3T 1N 4 GOOD F4C3PUNCH 4T L34ST
1T 4LL H3PP3N3D SO F4ST >:[

text - @claytonator

[dr_unconscious]

What kind of state is Kesara in right now? Did she lose consciousness at all?

[Yes he is blatantly ignoring everything else about this message. He's got a job to do, he can be angry about everyone fighting and killing each other later.]

@gallowsCalibrator; text

[iustitia]

SH3 W4S KNOCK3D OUT DUR1NG TH3 F1GHT
K3S4R4 1S 4W4K3 NOW BUT NOT F33L1NG TOO HOT
SH3 S33MS OUT OF 1T 4ND 1M W4TCH1NG H3R CLOS3LY >:[

[dr_unconscious]

Define "out of it."
Memory loss? General confusion? Sluggishness? Nausea? Stiffness? Sorry, but the details are important.

[iustitia]

SH3S B33N
HOW DO 1 D3SCR1B3 1T
PR3TTY FUZZY 4ND LOST!
D3F1N1T3LY L1STL3SS 4ND 4 L1TTL3 D1ZZY
SH3S N4US3OUS 4ND H4S 4 PR3TTY B4D H34D4CH3 FROM TH4T BUMP SH3 TOOK
1TS H4RD FOR H3R TO FOCUS BUT 1 H4V3NT R34LLY NOT1C3D 4NY OTH3R CH4NG3S >:?

HOW B4D 1S TH1S
1 KNOW 4 TROLL COULD BOUNC3 B4CK BUT 1 DONT KNOW HOW FR4G1L3 YOUR W31RD HUM4N 3NDOSK3L3TONS 4R3

voice @Enoch

[warriorscribe]

What!?

[Jack killed someone else. And there's no telling where he is now. And Joker's on the loose downtown. And a child was injured.

This town was doing so well for so long. Why this?]

Is Kesara all right? And yourself?

@gallowsCalibrator; voice

[iustitia]

[OH NO SHE WORRIED THE GENTLE LUSUS MAN......

HOW CAN SHE LIVE WITH HERSELF NOW]

I'm fine, I'm fine! Kesara is less fine, but it's not like she got stabbed or something. I'm making sure she takes it easy and nothing else happens to her.

voice

[warriorscribe]

[Even cultures whose idea of a parent is utterly alien recognize him as a dad. This is his life.

He breathes a slow sigh of relief. Not that he's without tension, but nobody is fatally wounded who hasn't already died, and everyone is awake.]

I'm glad you're both safe. It's bad enough he's claimed another life already.

[Another sigh as he wills his adrenaline rush down.]

I...I hope you're going to take Kesara to one of the doctors here. Head injuries can be unpredictable.

@CaptSteveRogers; voice; late to the party, whooo~

[starsandtights]

[Steve feels nothing but shock for a few seconds, then he clenches his jaw in grim anger. He takes a few moments to sift through the other replies before answering.]

Zach—God, what a mess. [Poor kid. The hell was he thinking?] How did Kesara get injured? [Read: how angry should I be?] Are you alright?

...What happened to Jack?

@gallowsCalibrator | voice

[iustitia]

Kesara tried to stop them and got in the middle of the fight. Zach didn't know she was there when he bodyrushed Jack, and she got hit.