[network] @gardenGnostic; video; FYI trolls are garbage; Day 88 [open]

[eclecticbassist]

[ Well, Vriska got right down to business being terrible. Jade figures she should warn everyone to expect similar bullshit in the future, so in true PSA form she's talking to the camera; her dog ears are held back in distress. ]

Hi, everyone. So... what happened yesterday was awful-- what happened to Vriska, I mean. I guess I wanted to explain why she would agree to be... you know, murdered. On camera. [ Insert long-suffering sigh here. ]

You've probably noticed that she is not human. She belongs to a species called trolls, and they are, um, pretty messed up; that stunt she pulled might even be tame by their standards. Violence is basically a troll's first response to a problem, in excess. They're melodramatic like that. [ She makes a huffing noise that was supposed to be a humorless laugh. ]

Oh, and there are two more here; you might want to avoid them if you're squeamish. I doubt they will pick any fights with other species, though, so don't worry about anyone... else coming after you. Just be careful not to become collateral damage.

And look out for the horns, I guess.

Comments

[eclecticbassist]

aw, come on!!
it gets waaaaaaaay more convoluted ;P [ The main villain can only be destroyed by exploiting glitches and loopholes in time itself, for example. ]

i dont know about other reality-altering video games, but it is easy to tell if you are "in" sburb
for one thing, getting to play it in the first place is a huge pain in the ass
and everyone playing is on a little planet of their own
the colorful herptiles are another clue

[ She's not even trying to be funny. ]

[rubikscomplex]

sounds like a real vacay for a basement-dweller
fine
i'll bite
what was the point of the game?

[eclecticbassist]

to create a new universe!
thats how mine came to be, actually
its always been around from our point of view, but not to the ones who made it
there are a lot of stable time loop shenanigans like that :B
theres also plenty of incentive to win, because your home planet is bombarded with meteors

[rubikscomplex]

i take it this assumes you actually care about the planet
if you're creating a new universe anyway
what's the point?
do you get to go back to your planet?
is it going to be worth it?
one meteor destroyed the dinosaurs
who wants to go back to a hellscape?

[Video game logic. How do you?]

[eclecticbassist]

ummm

[ Yeaaaaah, about that.......... ]

you dont go back
and there is nothing you can do but play the game, anyway
sburb is both the cause of the end of the world and the only way to escape
.....as long as you are destined to play it
otherwise youre sol :|

[ Sburb is fuuuucked up, man. Jade probably is too, come to think of it-- growing up knowing that A) the world is going to end in the near future, and B) the day it will end can do that to a person. ]

[rubikscomplex]

[Ugh. Paradox and stable time loops is right. House can't help rolling his eyes.]

so who created the game?
god?
cthulu?
the flying spaghetti monster?

[eclecticbassist]

[ WORDVOMIT ALERT ]

skaia, i guess
it is the literal and figurative center of every session
the players planets orbit around it, and it serves a variety of functions
its orbited by two other planets: the kingdoms of prospit and derse
derse want to destroy skaia and prospit defends it
prospit always loses eventually, and then the king of derse uses the fallen king of prospits (probably magic) scepter to send an entire asteroid belt towards skaia
it uses portals to transport the meteors elsewhere in time and space
.......specifically to the host planet of the sburb session :|
the medium (where all this stuff takes place) occupies a separate location in space time, so skaia can send the meteors to various points in time of the host planets history
one of these meteors contained a temple with hieroglyphs on its walls that can be deciphered to reveal the code for the game!
my grandpa discovered it in my home universe

[rubikscomplex]

[Okay, she'd said this is a video game, but holy hell is that a video game.]

any reason you can't just off the derse people or whatever and jack the system?
i mean
that's what i'd do

[Because it's fun testing things to their breaking point and giving the finger to whatever cosmic forces are in play.]

i also want you to know this sounds like the most bullshit game i've ever heard of

[eclecticbassist]

[ House and Rose could get along, in a twisted kind of way. ]

well, you can stop the reckoning after it begins by defeating the black king
that is what the trolls did
but things went off the rails in our session
a dersite killed the black queen and took a ring that....
ummmmm, i should explain about prototyping
when you begin playing the game, your server player deploys a device that is important for unrelated gameplay things
but it also releases a little floating orb called a sprite! (or kernelsprite, in its initial form)
you combine it with inanimate objects, living, or formerly living things by having them make contact with each other
this process is called prototyping!
once a prototyped sprite enters the medium it divides into a kernel and a sprite
then the kernel divides in two, and carries the prototyping data to spires on prospit and derse
this data alters the appearance and abilities of the enemies you face, and the effects of wearing the ring
anyway!!
this dersite named jack noir stole the black queens ring and went on a rampage, which is.... not supposed to happen
it turns out that our session was doomed from the start because the trolls (who created our universe) took "shortcuts" in the process
which resulted in jack noir flipping the fuck out
as an added bonus there was a massive bomb at the center of skaia :|

[ YOU WERE SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT BULLSHIT ]

[rubikscomplex]

[ A very twisted kind of way... until she started psychoanalyzing. House can't stand that crap. ]

i've never played this game and i already hate it
mechanics sound too complicated
so if you know about the prototyping
why not prototype with something shitty
make your job easier with the whole murdering the king before he starts the reckoning?
prototype him with, like... a foam block or something.
and how exactly did someone screwing up their session result in a bomb being in yours?