snowblindrpg | [network] voice; @standardissue; LOVELESS: A dramatic recitation [Day 83]

[Kunsel clears his throat before he starts, sounding cheerful.]

Hey. I figure we're all getting sick of sitting here, what with the ice storm and all. Especially Zack. Zack, I know you've got to be going stir crazy, so I thought of just the thing to keep you entertained.

[Is that gleeful mischief in his voice?

Yes, yes it is.

It's also a warning to everyone that this post is mostly intended to get Zack's goat. Feel free to carry on!

In the mean time, Kunsel's voice takes on the sound of dramatic recitation. If he hadn't locked himself in the bathroom, people in the house he's in would see him posing ridiculously in front of the mirror with his tablet. But alas, the visual is lost, because Kunsel's sticking to audio.]

When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end, the goddess descends from the sky. Wings of light and dark spread afar, she guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting.

LOVELESS, Prologue. It's a famous play in my world, one I've been working on writing down for a few weeks now. I think I've got most of it now, so if that prologue appeals...

[He pauses, giving people time to settle down to listen, then begins.]

LOVELESS, Act I: Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess...

[And on he goes, reciting the whole play, even taking on different voices for different parts. Yes, he's ~~that much of a dork~~ that dedicated.

Besides, it's in the name of trolling Zack.]

[ooc: Please pretend that Kunsel is reciting a whole lot more than what's provided in those links. Crisis Core never actually provides a whole script for the play, just pieces and quotations.

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Like hell!

[As bad as the position he's in might be, Kunsel's not SOLDIER for nothing. Maybe he doesn't have the strength and reflexes he once did, but he's still got years of training and experience on his side. When Zack dives at him, Kunsel twists, catching the man by the shoulders in a way to redirect his momentum - hopefully straight to the ground! Have fun kissing the tiled bathroom floor, Zack!

Too bad Kunsel can't leap to the side when he's done. Close quarters mean it's a hell of a lot harder to keep from getting himself just as tangled in this!]

[ RUDE, MAN. Zack lands with a- ] Oof! [ -near flat on his face with that redirection.

Of course, SOLDIER reflexes or not, that doesn't stop him from reacting quickly. He's gonna be grabbing for those ankles of yours, Kuns! ] Not so fast!

[Whoa! Suddenly Kunsel is grateful for the close quarters here, because Zack grabbing his ankles while Kunsel's trying to bolt means that he's tripping and only able to keep from hitting the ground by grabbing onto the bathroom sink.]

Oi! Let go!

[Careful, Zack! Trying to kick his feet free!]

Like hell!

[ Quit kicking, you jerk!! It's a good thing Zack's got a good grip on them or he'd have been kicked in the face by now. Doesn't mean it prevents him from some close calls though, but that just means he's gotta move. And by move, that means using the momentum of one of his latest kicks to pull himself forward. Never mind getting kicked in the side in the meantime. He's going for the hopeful leverage of closing that distance further, so no more kicking can happen and he can try and wrap arms around legs instead! HE'S GONNA TAKE YOU DOWNTOWN, MAN. ]

[Dammit, with Zack's arms wrapped around his legs like that, it's getting harder and harder to kick. Might be time to move onto desperation tactics here!]

Wow, Zack, didn't know you liked me that much!

Like they always say! Love is blind, helmet head~!

[ He is so getting his ass kicked for that later if not right then. But at least for the moment, he's going to use that new grip on his legs to yank forward and try to put Kunsel flat on his ass. ] Get down here!

Edited 2016-03-21 18:02 (UTC)

[Kunsel's arms flail as Zack jerks him off balance, but SOLDIER instincts are at least good for one thing. Down he goes, but at least he at least manages to slap his hands to the floor to absorb most of the impact from his fall.

Too bad it still means he's right where Zack wants him.]

Help! I need an adult!

[Despite his situation, it's just so ridiculous that he's abruptly fighting off the urge to laugh.]

[ Exzackly where he wants him if the way he's crawling up's any indication-

You know. To be the hardcore SOLDIER he is and wrestle the crap out of him.

By wrestling, that means running his fingers up and down his sides with a shiteating grin on his face, even as he shouts: ]

You called!?

[ If you needed further reason to laugh, bro... ]

[Oh, that is so not fair. Kunsel is calling bullshit!

Or he would be, if he wasn't laughing as Zack finds all his ticklish spots.]

Z-Zack, stop! Get- haha, get off! Get off, before I call Angel!

[ FAIR'S FAIR, YOU BUTT. ]

What, so she can start those rumors again!? Bring it! [ Yep, just going to keep on tickling the crap out of you, man. Look- it's on you, not him, if it really comes down to that! He's not the one worrying about his love life!

This also might be a stupid relief. ]

[Dammit, so much for that idea. It had been an empty threat, and Kunsel had known it, but he'd been vaguely hoping that Zack wouldn't call the bluff.

Alright, time for something that's not a bluff, then.]

Who said- haha, who said anything about starting those rumors up? I have so many other stories I could tell!

[He twists again with that threat, trying to grab Zack's hands to hold him off.]

Don't think I won't resort to blackmail!

[ ARE YOU SERIOUS, MAN?

Kunsel at least does finally get a hold of Zack's hands- or maybe it's more that Zack raises them in defense, so now they're grappling rather than tickling. ]

And you think I don't have dirt on you after all this time? How long have we known each other now? Ten years? [ Granted, he was in that tank for over four, but technicalities. ]

[Just for good measure, Kunsel's fingers lace through Zack's just to make sure the other man doesn't try anything.]

You might have dirt, but not the kind of dirt I have. [He half teases, half threatens, leaning in close.] Do you really want to go there, Zack? Really? Ask yourself if it's worth it.

[ Oh, he knows.

He knows.

It's not going to stop him from leaning in closer, himself, grinning like a shit. ] You're asking the wrong guy, man, and you know it. [ He is absolutely shameless, okay. You should know this, Kuns. All the same, after a none-too-casual headbutt, Zack leans away and starts to use that grapple more as leverage to make his way back to his feet.

Well, granted he's allowed that after his stupidity. ]

[Oh, Kunsel knows it. Doesn't stop him from making the threat, though, or grinning at the headbutt just now.]

I bet I could surprise you.

[And maybe he's butting Zack's head back before letting the other make an escape.]

But, you know, if you'd rather call a truce, I suppose we could put this off for another day.

[ The headbutt back gets a soft grunt in turn, but he's smiling, regardless. Getting to his feet, he offers out a hand. ] Sounds fair. At least for now.

[ You know. Until he finds a really good way to get him back for basically publishing LOVELESS to the network for all eternity. That's a serious offense in his eyes, man. ]

[Kunsel reaches up to take his hand, allowing Zack to pull him to his feet. He promptly nudges the other man in the side for that pun. Don't think he didn't notice that!

But it's not a rough nudge. He's good with calling a truce for the night.]

Come on, let's go find something to eat.

[Hey, look on the bright side, Zack. There's no Genesis fan clubs here to help make sure a LOVELESS craze catches on.]

[network] voice; @standardissue; LOVELESS: A dramatic recitation [Day 83]

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