[network] video; @guardian; evening 152 [open]

[phaseshifter]

[ So with the way things have been recently, Rhys needs cheering up. Badly. And as far as Angel is concerned, the best way to do that is with a really stupid post.

Like, really stupid.

The video begins innocuously enough - just Angel, beaming at the camera and offering a glowy little wave. ]

Hi. We - uh, Rhys and I - need some help with an argument we've been having. Just a frivolous one, nothing important. So: who wore it better?

[ She attaches a file - a photo of Beckett in a flower crown, sleeping, with a snoring Rhys drooling on his shoulder. Also in a flower crown. Then covers her mouth with a vaguely guilty look. Oops. ]

Wait, not - not that one. Shoot. Let me just - okay, who wore this better?

[ And this time she attaches the right image - herself and Rhys wearing shitty skirts made out of bedsheets. Yes, they shaved their legs for this. Yes, Rhys too. They're Hyperion okay grooming is important ]

Rhys thinks that just because his legs are longer, he--

[ But she gets no further, because she's interrupted by happy robot screams as the same bedsheet floats across the screen. It's either a spooky ghost, or Dumpy wanted to demonstrate that he wears it best. WHO KNOWS??? Either way, the feed ends. What an important post. ]

Comments

[majorlazer]

[Zach goes looking through his pack, taking out the patterned curtain he found in the bathroom house the other day. He pulls it up to the camera, and then peeks out from behind it, a grin on his face.]

That a challenge?

[headjacked]

[ SKIRTAN

DEAR GOD ]

Yes. Hell yes.

[majorlazer]

Okay then. Gonna need a minute but just you wait. Just you wait.

[It'll come up when you least expect it, Rhys. He just doesn't have much time or tools to fashion a nice skirt right now. He's totally doing this right.]

[headjacked]

Oh, you need a minute, huh?? We had our pieces whipped up in, like, seconds. Chop-chop!

[ Clapping for effect! ]

[majorlazer]

Yeah well I don't have scissors so I have to...fold inventively...

[headjacked]

[ He gives Zach a minute or so before -- ]

We're waaaaaaiting...

I CAN'T DRAW so imagine it

[majorlazer]

[Not going to lie, it's a fucking struggle to get the curtains to fold in a way that looks more or less like a skirt. He tries to tie it at his hip but that doesn't really work so he just folds one end into the other, keeping a hand on it to prevent it from falling down at any second.

Then, he drops his jeans and long johns, gritting his teeth against the cold as he reaches for his tablet again, showing his magnificent (really not) octogonal patterned knee high length skirt, a slit going up all the way up a side to show his thigh and then his boxers. He lunges as best he can with his feet still in his jeans, just because.]

Eh, eeehhhhh? [He waggles his eyebrows.]

amazing

[headjacked]

[ WAS THAT

REALLY

YOUR BEST EFFORT, SON ]

That's -- wow. Wowwwwww.

I'm giving that a C-, adding points for, uh. Effort, and trying to make that material work. I'm removing points for your pants being around your ankles and also everything else.

[majorlazer]

[IN TWO MINUTES WITHOUT SCISSORS OR ANYTHING, YEAAAAAAAH.]

I'm not taking my snowboots off for you, Rhys, you gotta give me more incentive if I'm gonna get frostbite!

You're just jealous because my thighs are so much better than yours. Like. So much better. Ask Steph. She'd agree.

[...Maybe. Maybe she will.]

[headjacked]

Um, no, I think I know what I'm feeling better than you do and it's nowhere near the realm of jealousy. Steph is biased, so her vote doesn't count.

Chunky thighs are not great. JUST SAYIN'.

[majorlazer]

Excuse you what one they're not chunky, they're muscular, and two, you think your Tim Burton twigs are attractive? Are you serious it's like your body is 90% legs with a head stuck to it.

[Wait.]

.....Are you calling me fat?

[headjacked]

Hmmmmaybe chunky wasn't the right word. Stocky? Iunno.

And YES I do, you even basically said so right off the bat! No taking back compliments allowed!

[majorlazer]

[Dammit.]

Whatever, stocky is still better. How tall are you anyway?

[headjacked]

6'2".

[ Part of that is Heel, but. Whateverrrrr!! ]

You?

[majorlazer]

[Zach laughs. Yeah.]

5'9''. On a good day.