[network] voice; @standardissue; LOVELESS: A dramatic recitation [Day 83]

[deus_ex_phs]

[Kunsel clears his throat before he starts, sounding cheerful.]

Hey. I figure we're all getting sick of sitting here, what with the ice storm and all. Especially Zack. Zack, I know you've got to be going stir crazy, so I thought of just the thing to keep you entertained.

[Is that gleeful mischief in his voice?

Yes, yes it is.

It's also a warning to everyone that this post is mostly intended to get Zack's goat. Feel free to carry on!

In the mean time, Kunsel's voice takes on the sound of dramatic recitation. If he hadn't locked himself in the bathroom, people in the house he's in would see him posing ridiculously in front of the mirror with his tablet. But alas, the visual is lost, because Kunsel's sticking to audio.]

When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end, the goddess descends from the sky. Wings of light and dark spread afar, she guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting.

LOVELESS, Prologue. It's a famous play in my world, one I've been working on writing down for a few weeks now. I think I've got most of it now, so if that prologue appeals...

[He pauses, giving people time to settle down to listen, then begins.]

LOVELESS, Act I: Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess...

[And on he goes, reciting the whole play, even taking on different voices for different parts. Yes, he's that much of a dork that dedicated.

Besides, it's in the name of trolling Zack.]


[ooc: Please pretend that Kunsel is reciting a whole lot more than what's provided in those links. Crisis Core never actually provides a whole script for the play, just pieces and quotations.

Comments

/gentle jack

[swatsflies]

[Helper Zell to the rescue!

It takes him a few moments before he finally digs out his lock-pick set. He's being quiet as he walks over to Zack trying to body slam the door. Seriously, dude, the houses can handle frickin' monsters. He's going to move into Zack's view as he waves his hand to get his attention. Look how quiet he's being as he flashes Zack a shit-eating grin.

Hopefully Zack can read hand signals because he's going to point to Zack and the door to try to tell him to keep up the noise to throw Kunsel off what he's doing. He waits for some kind of indication that Zack gets it before he's dropping down in front of the door to get to work.]

[heroproceeding]

[ SO HE THINKS. BUT THAT'S SUCH A FRIGGIN' LIE IT'S UNREAL.

Of course, there's one thing Zack does also understand and that's how solid the doors are in snowhell. It's going to take a lot more than ramming into it and bruising up his shoulder in the process.

...Cue Zell.

It's enough to get him to pause just a moment as he recognizes what he has on hand. His eyebrows raise in realization and there's a big grin dashing across his face shortly after. Quick thinking, buddy! With the addition of those hand signals, Zack sharply nods before he's running at the door again full tilt. This time though, he twists at the last moment to sidestep Zell. It makes it sound like he tripped in the process and he further emphasizes that with a sharp, played grunt. ] Damn it, man! Open up!

[deus_ex_phs]

[Nope, Kunsel's still going to ignore you, Zack! This is what happens when you pull stunts like sticking stickers all over him. Zack had to know he'd get even somehow.]

Dreams of the morrow hath shattered soul...

[Of course, he might come to regret ignoring Zack so well, because it means he's focusing entirely on that to the point that he's not hearing the light scrape of Zell's lockpicks.]

Even if the morrow is barren of promises, nothing shall forestall my return.

[swatsflies]

[Zack can survive a couple more lines, right?

It takes a minute or two before he finally hears the tell-tale click and turns the paperclips to unlock the thing.]

Booya, baby! [Whoops... If Kunsel didn't know Zack might be getting help, the that slip up might have given him a clue.

He's all yours, Zack! Zell is up and fleeing before he gets caught up into this.]

[heroproceeding]

[ Whether Zell's alerted Kunsel or not doesn't really matter to him at this point. As soon as the Seed is out of the way, Zack abruptly stops pounding on the door in order to turn that knob and attempt to shove it open. As hard as possible.

Yeah, Kunsel. Have fun with that.

He'll have to make sure to properly thank Zell later. ]

[deus_ex_phs]

[By the time Zell finishes picking the lock, Kunsel has almost finished his recitation of the place. Almost, though, means that his last line gets interrupted with a grunt of surprise when Zack shoves against the door. Rude, Zack, rude.

But damned if he's going to let Zack keep him from finishing. With a sound like a cross between a huff and a laugh, Kunsel plants his feet and pushes against the door with his back.]

Of course... I’ll come back to you. Even if you don’t promise to wait. I’ll return knowing that you’ll be here.

[He turns his tablet off.]

Too late, Zack!

[heroproceeding]

Damn it, Kunsel! When I get in there-!!

[ SERIOUSLY, IT WAS BAD ENOUGH WHEN GENESIS CONSTANTLY QUOTED FROM THAT GAIA FORSAKEN PLAY. NOW, THE WHOLE OF NORFINBURY KNOWS OF IT.

Which might be why he's backing up and ramming at the door again. KUNSEL HE SWEARS ONCE YOU GET IN THERE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE MORE THAN HELMET HAIR TO WORRY ABOUT. ]

[deus_ex_phs]

[Hey hey, give credit where it's due! Kunsel's been here two months without quoting it once until now!]

You mean if you get in here! That was a little weak there, Zack! Have you been slacking off?

[Not so weak, really, unless you compare it to back when they had their enhancements. Kunsel's body had been shoved by the strength of Zack's ramming, but like hell is he letting Zack know how close he'd come.]

[heroproceeding]

[ NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER, OKAY.

AND HUFF. REALLY, KUNS. REALLY? ]

No more than you have! [ Which isn't really true at all. They've been pretty consistent with things despite all they've been through there.

Either way, it's not going to stop him from trying again. You know how stubborn he is, Kunsel. You were really asking for this. ]

[deus_ex_phs]

Well, then clearly it's because I- oof!

[He gets cut off with a grunt as Zack finally manages to shove the door open, never mind that Kunsel's still in front of it. Kunsel tumbles into an ungraceful roll that he only barely manages to salvage at the end, enough to get up on his feet in a crouch before Zack can finish barging in.]

[heroproceeding]

[ Crouch or not, it doesn't matter to Zack! As soon as the door's shoved open, he's- well, regaining his balance in a few uneven strides. But he doesn't entirely lose that momentum. And it's with that momentum that he continues to carry himself forward, trying to divebomb his friend! ]

Got you now!

[deus_ex_phs]

Like hell!

[As bad as the position he's in might be, Kunsel's not SOLDIER for nothing. Maybe he doesn't have the strength and reflexes he once did, but he's still got years of training and experience on his side. When Zack dives at him, Kunsel twists, catching the man by the shoulders in a way to redirect his momentum - hopefully straight to the ground! Have fun kissing the tiled bathroom floor, Zack!

Too bad Kunsel can't leap to the side when he's done. Close quarters mean it's a hell of a lot harder to keep from getting himself just as tangled in this!]

[heroproceeding]

[ RUDE, MAN. Zack lands with a- ] Oof! [ -near flat on his face with that redirection.

Of course, SOLDIER reflexes or not, that doesn't stop him from reacting quickly. He's gonna be grabbing for those ankles of yours, Kuns! ] Not so fast!

[deus_ex_phs]

[Whoa! Suddenly Kunsel is grateful for the close quarters here, because Zack grabbing his ankles while Kunsel's trying to bolt means that he's tripping and only able to keep from hitting the ground by grabbing onto the bathroom sink.]

Oi! Let go!

[Careful, Zack! Trying to kick his feet free!]

[heroproceeding]

Like hell!

[ Quit kicking, you jerk!! It's a good thing Zack's got a good grip on them or he'd have been kicked in the face by now. Doesn't mean it prevents him from some close calls though, but that just means he's gotta move. And by move, that means using the momentum of one of his latest kicks to pull himself forward. Never mind getting kicked in the side in the meantime. He's going for the hopeful leverage of closing that distance further, so no more kicking can happen and he can try and wrap arms around legs instead! HE'S GONNA TAKE YOU DOWNTOWN, MAN. ]

[deus_ex_phs]

[Dammit, with Zack's arms wrapped around his legs like that, it's getting harder and harder to kick. Might be time to move onto desperation tactics here!]

Wow, Zack, didn't know you liked me that much!

[heroproceeding]

Like they always say! Love is blind, helmet head~!

[ He is so getting his ass kicked for that later if not right then. But at least for the moment, he's going to use that new grip on his legs to yank forward and try to put Kunsel flat on his ass. ] Get down here!

[deus_ex_phs]

[Kunsel's arms flail as Zack jerks him off balance, but SOLDIER instincts are at least good for one thing. Down he goes, but at least he at least manages to slap his hands to the floor to absorb most of the impact from his fall.

Too bad it still means he's right where Zack wants him.]

Help! I need an adult!

[Despite his situation, it's just so ridiculous that he's abruptly fighting off the urge to laugh.]

[heroproceeding]

[ Exzackly where he wants him if the way he's crawling up's any indication-

You know. To be the hardcore SOLDIER he is and wrestle the crap out of him.

By wrestling, that means running his fingers up and down his sides with a shiteating grin on his face, even as he shouts: ]

You called!?

[ If you needed further reason to laugh, bro... ]

[deus_ex_phs]

[Oh, that is so not fair. Kunsel is calling bullshit!

Or he would be, if he wasn't laughing as Zack finds all his ticklish spots.]

Z-Zack, stop! Get- haha, get off! Get off, before I call Angel!

[heroproceeding]

[ FAIR'S FAIR, YOU BUTT. ]

What, so she can start those rumors again!? Bring it! [ Yep, just going to keep on tickling the crap out of you, man. Look- it's on you, not him, if it really comes down to that! He's not the one worrying about his love life!

This also might be a stupid relief. ]

[deus_ex_phs]

[Dammit, so much for that idea. It had been an empty threat, and Kunsel had known it, but he'd been vaguely hoping that Zack wouldn't call the bluff.

Alright, time for something that's not a bluff, then.]

Who said- haha, who said anything about starting those rumors up? I have so many other stories I could tell!

[He twists again with that threat, trying to grab Zack's hands to hold him off.]

Don't think I won't resort to blackmail!

[heroproceeding]

[ ARE YOU SERIOUS, MAN?

Kunsel at least does finally get a hold of Zack's hands- or maybe it's more that Zack raises them in defense, so now they're grappling rather than tickling. ]

And you think I don't have dirt on you after all this time? How long have we known each other now? Ten years? [ Granted, he was in that tank for over four, but technicalities. ]

[deus_ex_phs]

[Just for good measure, Kunsel's fingers lace through Zack's just to make sure the other man doesn't try anything.]

You might have dirt, but not the kind of dirt I have. [He half teases, half threatens, leaning in close.] Do you really want to go there, Zack? Really? Ask yourself if it's worth it.

[heroproceeding]

[ Oh, he knows.

He knows.

It's not going to stop him from leaning in closer, himself, grinning like a shit. ] You're asking the wrong guy, man, and you know it. [ He is absolutely shameless, okay. You should know this, Kuns. All the same, after a none-too-casual headbutt, Zack leans away and starts to use that grapple more as leverage to make his way back to his feet.

Well, granted he's allowed that after his stupidity. ]