[Hey, if you can't stop your impending doom, at least you can laugh about it.]

Don't forget the diseases, dread and distress! We've got more Ds here than you can shake a stick at. [And yes, he is also offhandedly expressing his frustration over the lack of girls, here. Who knew hell was a sausagefest.]

If you wanna throw a party, just lemme know. I can interest you in a bunch of fun party sites. [Sarcasm. Sarcasm everywhere.] Like, you know, the mass graves or the creepy ol' school.