ecks: (looking up)
Ecks ([personal profile] ecks) wrote in [community profile] snowblindrpg 2018-01-09 06:49 pm (UTC)

@Ecks | audio | cw vivisection, abuse by father figure, child soldier, torture....

When I was very young, I never went outside. I was always underground in a place that is secret from all of the enemies of the person who made me and his god and his god's followers. When I was very young I did not know any languages or how to do anything except by copying what other people did and I think they did not know for certain if I was a person because real people do not do things only by copying. That is why he had to test my responses and cut me open and find out how I worked after he made me.

Later when I understood languages and I understood how to do things I would go outside. Going outside was not all good because later I understood that when I went outside and murdered other people it was not justified and I did not want to do that anymore. I liked the part about being outside even though the sky was too large and there were dangerous things outside that would murder me if they saw me because I liked the way I could see for a very long distance outside and I liked the way the outside smelled better than the way the inside smelled, and I liked that when I was outside I could not always hear screaming. When I decided that my name was Ecks and that I wanted to leave I waited until they told me to go outside and murder someone else and instead of murdering him I chose a direction and I started walking and did not stop walking. I was very afraid but I was happy. I was still happy when I came here because I could still be outside and I was not required to murder anyone. That is what is real.

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