snowblindrpg | [network] @Spoiler; died awesomely; Night 111 [open] cw: suicidal ideation, death

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[network] @Spoiler; died awesomely; Night 111 [open] cw: suicidal ideation, death

[ Video ]

So...

[ It is after lockdown and Steph looks flushed, both with cold and delight. She's sitting outside the locked door to the post office. She doesn't know quite what to say for a moment. She probably should have waited until she had that figured out to make this post. ]

So, I think we all know what happens next. And I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I took a chance, and I know that this doesn't just affect me.

[ She tries to keep a straight face, but she can't help a grin at the memory of skateboarding through frickin ice stalagmites in a life or death race against time. ]

But I also want to say that it was totally worth it. Turns out it takes most of the day to get through the tunnels to the post office, even on a skateboard. And it was completely awesome. If there's a way to win at dying, I'm pretty sure I just did it. So take that, Snowhell.

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[ There is just way too much going on tonight. House pops an extra Vicodin before replying. ]

try to jam your notes under the post office door or whatever
catch you on the flip side, kid

[ Or not... ]

[This is the first time America has publicly been on video since before his altercation with The Joker. It's obvious why--he has chemical burns on the left side of his face. His cheek and forehead, missing his eyes thanks to his glasses. They're not actually that bad, and they are healing, but America's always been a bit vain.

Still, here, when Steph is going to die soon, he'll smile at her even if his heart clearly isn't in it.]

That's a pretty cool way to go if you're gonna.

I'll do what I can.

To be honest, I mostly wanted the chance to say goodbye.

[ She winces in sympathy at his wounds, but she's not about to mention them outright. ]

That's what I was thinking.

I'm really sorry about this, America.

Hey, don't worry about it! [He's the one who should be apologizing, but he's pretty sure people don't like it when he apologizes for stuff like this.] I'll just hang out with you for as long as you want.

[ What even is death row etiquette? She has no idea. ]

Yeah... I'd like that, if you're up for it. I was think I'd skateboard a bit to pass the time, but I'm already pretty tired.

[It's clear immediately what's happened, and Steve has to cover his mouth and blink hard against the stinging in his eyes. He pauses the video immediately, staring at the frozen screen for a few moments. He touches Peggy's hand to let her know he's going, then leaves her with the kids and goes into the clinic's tiny bathroom, closing the door behind him and sitting on the edge of the tub. He starts the video over. When the file ends, he sits and stares at his tablet for a long time, and... OK, maybe has a tiny little cry that nobody has to know about. When he has himself mostly under control again, he starts a voice message; he's not sure he can do the face thing, just at the moment.

He can't even yell at her, after her apology. She took a risk, and maybe it was a stupid risk, but she actually did put thought into it. And then there's the way she's facing death with a grin on her face, brash and brave. Dammit, Steph.]

Christ, Steph. [Not yelling. He just sounds tired.] What was so damned important you couldn't wait until the weather changed?

...Skateboarding. You lunatic. [There's actually a fond smile there, which should come through in his voice. He shakes his head.] Yeah, I think—I think you probably won. We'll get you a medal when you come back.

...You want some company?

I've got time! [He'd make time even if he was busy.] We can just talk about whatever. Like how much this place sucks! [He laughs--he can keep acting cheerful, that's important.]

[As soon as the video turns on, after lockdown and showing her outside Leon knows what's going on. He touches Sheena's shoulder to alert her, then slowly walks outside the small room to be alone when he starts his reply.]

I bet it was awesome- [He sounds... calm. He may be upset because she condamned herself in a very stupid way, she should have waited for the weather to get better, but there's no reason in yelling against someone who is about to die] but don't cry victory too soon, I bet you will return to us in a couple of days or so.

[He then takes a small pause. House already told her to leave her notes if she can, so...]

Did you get, at least, to yell stupid things while skateboarding? That's part of the fun.

[ What was so important? She just needed to be selfish for a little bit. She needed to throw herself against the wall. And, well... it sucks, having to let people know that she died for something that useless, but it's worth it for the chance to say goodbye to everyone. She knows her odds. They're not good.

She snorts despite herself when he calls her a lunatic. ]

I knew that board was trouble the minute it walked in.

It'd be nice to have something to do.

[As he watches the video, Zach feels all of his good feelings from getting Kesara and Terezi back leave him. God, she's going to freeze to fucking death, and that's just. So fucked.]

Gotta admit that's cool. Did you film it?

[Still, she's outside after lockdown. And she looks like she's happy about it, like she doesn't care about dying, which is - well. fuck. Zach doesn't really know what to say about that.]

Goddamn, Steph. I wish I could - I don't know. I hate that you're alone.

Edited 2016-05-01 21:15 (UTC)

I wouldn't even know where to start.

[ She almost laughs, but it's more like a heaved sigh. ]

I never thought anything would be weirder than some of the stuff that's happened back home. At least Zell and them finally got rid of that awful clown statue, right?

Win the battle, worry about the war later, I guess.

[ She's not sure if that's more morbid than it is badass. Probably. ]

I got the whole thing on tape, actually. I was a little worried the roof was gonna fall in on me, I was laughing so hard.

Like I'd skateboard through the valley of icy death and not record it?

[ Her smile is wavering - she's feeling a lot of different things and most of them are guilt and sympathetic grief. It's weird, mourning her own loss. Weirder than waking up after you've died. ]

I... I'm okay, Zach. You guys are here, and... [ And she's heard that freezing to death isn't too bad, really. That after you go numb you just stop caring, and it's like falling asleep. God, she's really going to die. She hits send before her lips can really start wobbling. Get it together, Steph.

She attaches the video of the whole event, which is mostly swooping shots of icy stalagmites zooming by, occasionally catching a glimpse of Steph's side, or the ground. She's laughing and whooping the whole thing through, and after a particularly wide arc around one stalagmite she screams "cowafuckingbunga!" ]

[Zach watches the whole video, finding himself laughing, a little watery, along with her. He watches it twice over, actually, moving his head like he's the one skateboarding down, like the stalagmites are going to get him. It's like he's playing Mario Kart.

Afterwards, though, it dawns on him, all over again, that Steph won't last the night. He's pretty sure his eyes are red-rimmed when he switches back to a video message to Steph.]

D'you - want me to stay? I can stay. I'd like to stay.

[He doesn't like to say goodbye.]

Whatever happens, good luck, we'll be waiting for you here.
...
Do you think you can try to dig a shelter of sort?

[He sighs on his end.]

I thought the general rule was to swear like a drunk sailor but I guess that works too. Wanna share? You've been lucky finding a working skateboard in such a place, thought- [He's going to attempt casual conversation until she wants too, even if Leon isn't usually one of the most talkative people]
Does it... look cool?

Edited 2016-05-01 21:47 (UTC)

[ In contrast, Steph has calmed down. She's had days to think about this and make a decision. It's just hard trying to explain that out loud, when people you care about are on the verge of tears. ]

Are you sure? It's gonna be a long night.

[Steve lets out a watery sort of laugh.]

Did it fly you to places you'd never been?

[Yes, this is Captain America admitting he listens to Taylor Swift.

Steve nods to himself. He can keep her company. He can do that for her. ...Hell, what do you even talk about to someone who's dying, though? He clenches his jaw against a rush of grief, swallows it down.

You can do this, Rogers. You've done it before, plenty of times.]

...Tell me about this completely awesome skateboard ride, then.

[Shrugging, Zach casts an eye around the room he's in. If the trolls are not asleep, they're not paying attention to him. Kesara's....busy. Zach's not sure with what, but he also has learned early on to leave her be, sometimes.]

S'okay, sleep's overrated anyway. Wanna play never have I ever?

There's not much to work with in here, but I've got a lot of blankets. [ They'll probably help her get to sleep more than they'll help her survive the night, but that's all she really wants.

She pulls the skateboard up so that it's on her lap, wheels up. The underside has been drawn on, but not by Steph. ]

It's pretty cool. Very 90s. I was gonna put more stickers on it, just because what else am I gonna do with stickers?

[ But she hasn't found any, and now she might not get the chance. ]

Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground. [ She says it quietly, not really thinking. But it's too late to take it back now.

She smiles again, putting one hand on the skateboard at her side. It's something to do with her hands. ]

I got video of the whole thing. I've boarded on ice before, but never this much. I didn't fall even once, it was totally flawless.

[ Wouldn't that be something, if she was freezing to death with a broken arm? ]

[ She chews a lip in thought. This is going to be hard on Zach. Not that it isn't hard on the others, she's just more aware of his feelings. ]

Yeah, sure. But "never have I ever skateboarded through ice tunnels" doesn't count.

[After a lot of cursing and yelling, he'll talk to her. Don't mind him sounding exhausted and his voice sounding like crap.]

Yo, Steph. [Swallowing hard.] Where did you even find a skateboard? That's pretty cool.

Steph...

[His voice is soft, but that can't hide the pain that leaks in. He wants to lecture her. He should lecture her not to do something this stupid again, just in case she comes back.

But what if she doesn't? What if this is the last time he ever speaks to her?

He can't. He just can't.]

Did you know that if you connect a battery to both ends of a piece of pencil lead, you can create a decent light?

..................That is not funny. [He sounds suspiciously like he's trying not to laugh anyway. Gallows humor ftw! The healthiest of coping mechanisms, obviously.]

...All right Jersey, let's see it, send it over.

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