[log] eyy it's a mothahumpin SLUMBUH PARTAAAY [closed]

[phaseshifter]

Characters: Team Bandit (Angel, Rhys and Steph) plus Team Sad Losers (Kunsel, Tifa, Zack and Zell)! And Dumpy.
Location: D11/Building 58
Date: Day 74 evening/night
Summary: DUMPY BOT REUNITES WITH HIS LOVING FATHER. And also some other stuff I guess IT'S A MINGLE
Warnings: Nnnnnone? Will edit if necessary!



write your own toplevels nerdlords I am still not ur collective mom

as far as you know

Comments

[headjacked]

Shhhh. Shhshshshhhhhhhhhhh.

[ SUBJECT CHANGE SUBJECT CHANGE oh there's

something he should be telling her, huh.

Rhys' demeanor suddenly shifts, as does he. Uncomfortably. ]

Um. Relatedly, there's... something I should tell you.

[phaseshifter]

[ Well. THAT sounds ominous. ]

Uh, go ahead. Something bad, huh?

[ The fidgeting isn't subtle bro ]

[headjacked]

Weeeeell, that depends how you feel about -- about --

[ His voice gets even quieter. ]

AboutuploadingJackintoHelios.

[phaseshifter]

What?

[ Despite her shock, Angel reminds herself to tread carefully. Don't alienate Secret Dad. Don't show too much alarm. Definitely don't think about the ways that could go horribly, fatally wrong for a whole lot of people.

Buts seriously, what. ]

What - when? Why?

[headjacked]

I don't know, I don't -- I 'remembered' it when I was high and everyone was having issues, but it hasn't happened yet, obviously. So I dunno what to tell you.

Just. That he offered me Hyperion and I kind of sort of maybe said yes.

[ This is Rhys pulling Dumpy back and holding him between himself and Angel. Look at the baby screambot, Angel. Don't get upset. ]




There was pizza.

[phaseshifter]

I-- wh-- of course there was pizza, everybody knows about the presidential pizza.

[ She's full-on whispering now, not just speaking quietly. VOICE VOLUME IS INVERSELY PROPORTIONAL TO HOW MUCH SHE'S FLIPPING OUT INTERNALLY OK. ]

I don't - you must have had a good reason, I assume? I can't imagine you'd-- why were you even back on Helios in the first place Rhys you stole ten million dollars your butt would be toasted.

[headjacked]

It's... something I've always wanted?

[ That isn't really a good reason in most people's eyes, huh. And after his experiences he's feeling a bit uneasy about it. But this was -- is -- will be(??) AI Jack offering. Not basement locky shithead Jack. Worlds apart. ]

I told you all I "remember", Angel. Except for the part where he said he wanted to build a robot to hug me but that doesn't answer your questions either.

[phaseshifter]

Mmmmh.

[ She's quiet for a moment, turning over the possibilities in her head. Jack in Helios? Bad. Sure, the bio version had lived there for ages and could theoretically have done anything that the AI will be able to do, but it's different. She knows what it's like to be so deeply integrated into a network that you basically are the systems, where manipulating everything is as easy and instinctive as breathing. The thought of Jack - any Jack - being able to do it is frightening. If anything goes wrong, Rhys won't be able to do squat.

But it'd also be laughably easy for Jack-as-Helios to instantly snuff Rhys out, if that was the plan. No need for plying him with pizza and promises of cuddlebots. So maybe... ]

Well, then. Con - um, congratulations. I think. About time Hyperion had a president who wasn't comically immoral.

Or - presidents? I - geez.

[headjacked]

Thank -- thank you.

[ He straightens up and seems to beam a little. The circumstances are a mystery and they're still trapped in Snowhell, but it's nice to be acknowledged. Validated.

It doesn't take him long to deflate again, though. ]

Also, we might have told your other dad. In a...not particularly sensitive manner.

[phaseshifter]

...Ah.

 

 

 

How far on the butthurt scale was he? I mean... how likely is he to, um...

[ STRANGLING MOTIONS... ]

[headjacked]

Strangling is a possibility. Slow, horrible torture is also a possibility.

There was a lot of butthurt is what I'm saying.

[phaseshifter]

Oh. Oh dear. Um.

[ Well. That isn't good. Or rather, the consequences won't be if Jack does decide to get all throttley.

They'll just have to be careful, is all. And besides-- ]

I wouldn't worry too much. I mean... if you're having visions of things that haven't happened yet, then you obviously find a way out of here someday.

[ Which is a happy thought. Yeah. ]

[headjacked]

...yeah.

[ That is a nice thought. Except he'd be returning to a world where Angel is dead, which kind of kills his vibe quite a lot.

Still. He smiles again. It's wobbly but it's there. ]

Who knows, maybe it was all one big crazy fever dream. So we should focus on the here and now.

[phaseshifter]

Dude. It can't have been a dream.

[ He deserves to be happy about this, so she puts on a pretty convincing smile as she leans in conspiratorially. ]

How else would you have known about the traditional presidential pizza?

[headjacked]

[ Okay he knows she's just fluffing his ego, because Jack must've known about it and their brains were blended into a drugged slurry, but

it's still nice. ]

When you're right, you're right. Are you gonna start calling me Mr. President?

[phaseshifter]

Nope. You'd have to re-hire me first, and - ugh. Imagine the paperwork. I'll just keep calling you a dork, instead!

[ YOU WILL NEVER ACCOMPLISH YOUR DREAMS ]

[headjacked]

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat.

You can't call the President of Hyperion a dork, you brat.

[phaseshifter]

Dude. I called the last one an asshole. You can deal with dork, dork.