Quark (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
averytinyparticle) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
snowblindrpg2015-12-23 11:53 am
averytinyparticle) wrote in snowblindrpg2015-12-23 11:53 am
[network|video] @quark; The Kids Are Not All Right; Day 69 [open] [suicide attempt]
Evening
[It's getting late. The evening is winding down with maybe two hours left at most before lockdown. Quark's video turns on--but it's not facing him. It's swinging lightly as he walks through the snow, as if having done so was a mis-click. There's a building visible in the distance, easy enough to get to--but Quark isn't heading toward it. He's not heading away from it, either. Just pacing, like he's lost in multiple senses of the word.
Something becomes quickly clear: Quark is alone. At some point during this strange sickness that's been inflicting everyone in Norfinbury, Quark wandered off, away from his equally-incapacitated traveling party. The tablet falls from his hands and lands on the snow beneath him, showing an odd angle of Quark standing there, looking dazed. He clutches his head.]
I see it. I can see it. I have to die. No...I'm supposed to die. It's the only way I'll be free. The only way...for any of us...
[His breathing is labored, his voice edged with steadily rising panic. Quark falls to his knees, trying to support himself on his backpack. In a second of clarity, he seems to realize that he's dropped his tablet and gropes around until his hand touches it and he brings it toward his knees. Even then, his eyes are unseeing as he stares down at the screen.]
It would be so easy. I just have to stay here, outside, and it'll all be over. [A flash of recognition passes through his face. His eyes go wild.] Wait...what am I saying? Where am I?
Post-Lockdown
[Miraculously, despite his apparent desire to lay down in the snow until lockdown and let himself freeze, Quark manages to make it into a safe building in time. Perhaps someone talked sense into him, or he snapped out of it long enough to realize where he is and the things he's saying and seeing aren't him and he runs the rest of the way inside before he can let himself think anything else. But that's not to say he looks like he's doing any better. In fact, Quark looks more panicked than ever.]
I should have done it. I should have died. Everyone's going to die anyway when the bomb goes off. There's no point in waiting!
[He puts the tablet down at his feet, reaches for his backpack, and produces a steak knife. His eyes stare at it with an obvious sense of purpose, and he slowly turns it around toward his chest, but doesn't make a move to actually plunge it inside. Under the panic, there's reluctance and confusion. His words start to repeat the things he was saying earlier, outside, like he's a broken record playing on a loop.]
Escape. My soul needs to escape.
[It's getting late. The evening is winding down with maybe two hours left at most before lockdown. Quark's video turns on--but it's not facing him. It's swinging lightly as he walks through the snow, as if having done so was a mis-click. There's a building visible in the distance, easy enough to get to--but Quark isn't heading toward it. He's not heading away from it, either. Just pacing, like he's lost in multiple senses of the word.
Something becomes quickly clear: Quark is alone. At some point during this strange sickness that's been inflicting everyone in Norfinbury, Quark wandered off, away from his equally-incapacitated traveling party. The tablet falls from his hands and lands on the snow beneath him, showing an odd angle of Quark standing there, looking dazed. He clutches his head.]
I see it. I can see it. I have to die. No...I'm supposed to die. It's the only way I'll be free. The only way...for any of us...
[His breathing is labored, his voice edged with steadily rising panic. Quark falls to his knees, trying to support himself on his backpack. In a second of clarity, he seems to realize that he's dropped his tablet and gropes around until his hand touches it and he brings it toward his knees. Even then, his eyes are unseeing as he stares down at the screen.]
It would be so easy. I just have to stay here, outside, and it'll all be over. [A flash of recognition passes through his face. His eyes go wild.] Wait...what am I saying? Where am I?
Post-Lockdown
[Miraculously, despite his apparent desire to lay down in the snow until lockdown and let himself freeze, Quark manages to make it into a safe building in time. Perhaps someone talked sense into him, or he snapped out of it long enough to realize where he is and the things he's saying and seeing aren't him and he runs the rest of the way inside before he can let himself think anything else. But that's not to say he looks like he's doing any better. In fact, Quark looks more panicked than ever.]
I should have done it. I should have died. Everyone's going to die anyway when the bomb goes off. There's no point in waiting!
[He puts the tablet down at his feet, reaches for his backpack, and produces a steak knife. His eyes stare at it with an obvious sense of purpose, and he slowly turns it around toward his chest, but doesn't make a move to actually plunge it inside. Under the panic, there's reluctance and confusion. His words start to repeat the things he was saying earlier, outside, like he's a broken record playing on a loop.]
Escape. My soul needs to escape.
post lockdown, text, @totheark
*There was one on the network before but it didn't seem the type to threaten everyone.
Aside from that...he doesn't dislike Quark and what little working together they've done has made him curious about most of this message.*
death isnot necessarily escape
you shouldnot
*You haven't even finished exploring stuff you were going to explore yet, at least do that first.*
no subject
There's not just one. It has a number--number three, so there have to be three bombs. But how can we know? It might not stop there. There could be four, or, or five bombs!
[Quark shudders. He doesn't put down the knife, but he seems distracted enough to temporarily forget its purpose and wraps his arms around himself. He looks dizzy, like he might fall over.]
My body's a cage. My soul needs to...it needs to be freed!
no subject
whereare bomb s?
*Cause he doesn't really want to blow up.*
itwill not
some re tu rn here
after death
*Or show up here after dying. If he got the idea of afterlife he might assume this is one.*
no subject
[He looks around, as if that'll help him find the ones missing from his memories. But he never sees all of the other bombs, even getting flashes from other timelines of his life, it's not information he'll ever know.]
What if that isn't true? What if every time a person dies, when they come back, it's a different version of that person? Then the soul from one reality is free, forever.
no subject
then whydo re mem ber
?
no subject
[He doesn't know, he doesn't know. It's so hard not knowing when he has so many questions. Quark didn't think he could ever have so many questions about anything before today. Before all these memories. At least...they feel like memories, but he doesn't remember any of them. So what does that mean? What could it mean? How can that even be possible?]
It doesn't make sense that they'd remember. But it doesn't make sense to remember anything that you shouldn't.
no subject
it doesnot
*He only remembers what's important, after all.*
may be you just donot know
why
you remember
yet
?
no subject
Nobody should have to remember the way that they die! That's not...it's not fair!
[The bomb explodes. All the bombs explode. It happens almost every time. If that isn't it, it's the virus. If it's not the virus, he wakes up and everyone's dead and he doesn't know where he is, oh god, he's alone.]
no subject
whatif to
avoid
it nexttime
?
no subject
[How can he even think to stop an explosion--if there's an explosion at all. Maybe he can stop the sickness, he can warn everyone about the antidote, and about what'll happen if they give it to the wrong person. But the bombs...he can't answer about the bombs. Or the choices that other people make in voting. He can't control people. And he's so young.]
What if nobody listens to me?
no subject
good
at listening
*He knows some people like that.*
you keep tell ing
may be in different ways
theymust list en
ev en tu al ly