[network] @tw; night 390; [open]

[maskintape]

[ Jay is back, which means that Tim is actually in a good mood for once. You could even say that he's... happy? Gosh.

Anyway. A happy Tim is apparently a productive and communicative Tim. Just after lockdown, he posts this. Can it possibly be-- ? Yes. Yes it is. ]



WELCOME TO TIM'S TEXT ADVENTURE 2
pls note that all characters and etc depicted within this game are 100% fictional
any resemblance to real people or events is entirely coincidental
type HELP if this is your first adventure and you need more instructions

>new game

- - - - - - - -

>you wake up in a house. unfortunately it's not your house. it's dusty af, all the furniture is wrecked, and you can see a snowstorm going on outside. you have no idea how you got here or wtf is going on, but something tells you that you've probs been interdimensionally kidnapped and brought to some kind of snowy hellhole or something. it's just a hunch you have.
whatever. at least you aren't in alabama.
you LOOK around to get your bearings as you get to your feet.

to the NORTH there is a WINDOW.
to the EAST there is an OPEN DOOR leading to another room.
to the SOUTH there is a DOOR leading outside.
to the WEST is a STAIRCASE.
inside the room you are currently in, there is a COUCH. there is also a TABLE. on the TABLE is a BACKPACK.

>what do you do?

Comments

@librarian; text

[cahooted]

LOOK out the window.

[maskintape]

you LOOK out of the window.

to the NORTH you see SNOW.
to the NORTHWEST you see SNOW.
to the NORTHEAST you see SNOW.
BELOW you see SNOW.
ABOVE you see AN ANOMALY waiting on the guttering to ambush anyone leaving the house.

man that's a lot of snow.
>what do you do?

[cahooted]

LOOK at anomaly.

[maskintape]

you LOOK at the anomaly. it kind of looks like DANNY DEVITO but, like, spookier.
it waves at you.
your nose starts to bleed.

>what do you do?

[cahooted]

[Okay, that actually makes him laugh.]

WAVE BACK at spooky DANNY DEVITO and tell him my mom loves his movies. Be very afraid, freak out about the blood and get away from the window.

GO EAST to the other room.

[maskintape]

you relay your mom's admiration to SPOOKY DANNY DEVITO and he blushes a little. he also notices your distress and tries to offer you an EGG in this trying time but you have already moved away from the window. a wise choice.

STATUS UPDATE: +5 WISDOM
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: [A NARROW EGGSCAPE]

you enter the room to the EAST. it seems to be a bathroom.
you see a TOILET.
you see a SHOWER. the SHOWER CURTAIN is drawn shut, concealing the shower from prying eyes.
you see a SINK.
you see BATHROOM READING MATERIAL.
you see a WINDOW.
>what do you do?

[cahooted]

[His favorite stat!]

Keep a healthy distance from SHOWER CURTAIN.

Snatch BATHROOM READING MATERIAL.

[Priorities.]

[maskintape]

you pick up the BATHROOM READING MATERIAL. it's made up of a FILLED OUT CROSSWORD PUZZLE BOOK and a COPY OF COSMO WITH HALF THE PAGES MISSING. you're p sure they got used as makeshift toilet paper b/c there doesn't seem to be a roll of it in here.
the SHOWER CURTAIN seems to be offended by you avoiding it. "why don't we talk any more," it says, and starts crying.
>what do you do?

[cahooted]

Pocket the BATHROOM READING MATERIAL, then panic in the face of the sudden emotional confrontation.

Immediately express guilt and remorse and attempt to convince the SHOWER CURTAIN it's not it, it's me. Blame work. "I keep getting so entangled with you."

Offer to take the SHOWER CURTAIN with me.

[maskintape]

the SHOWER CURTAIN continues to cry and ask why you're so emotionally unavailable and say that its mother was right about you. it brightens up when you offer to take it with you tho and agrees that it'd be a nice way to reconnect.

SHOWER CURTAIN APPEASEMENT added to SKILLS.
SHOWER CURTAIN added to inventory.

you can now see into the SHOWER. thankfully there's nothing spooky in there unless you count the writing in blood on the tiles that says "DIE, %PLAYERNAME%, DIE" and the drawing of you being horribly murdered taped to the wall.
>what do you do?

[cahooted]

Remind the SHOWER CURTAIN to please leave its mother out of this since it's a very sensitive subject and a bit of a low blow, honestly. Add that I am happy about the chance to reconnect, however.

Stare at the SHOWER and be glad nothing behind it is trying to violently murder me.

Ask the SHOWER CURTAIN if they know who painted that very disturbing picture which doesn't look a thing like me.

[maskintape]

the SHOWER CURTAIN apologises about your mom but also says it doesn't know who drew the pic. it says it thinks it's actually a p good likeness tho. like the mystery artist got your nose spot-on.
the BATHROOM DOOR slams shut.
the SHOWER CURTAIN says that it sure is drafty in here.
>what do you do?

[cahooted]

Accept the apology but self-consciously touch my nose, then flat out panic for a second at the unexpected slam.

Try turning on the SHOWER to wash the creepy drawing – which does so absolutely not look like me – away.

Walk over to check the WINDOW.

[maskintape]

you turn on the SHOWER. nothing comes out of it. it must be broken.
you turn your attention to the WINDOW instead. you are happy to see that SPOOKY DANNY DEVITO isn't out there. there's just a guy in a hockey mask with a chainsaw. he waves at you.
the SHOWER starts working. BLOOD sprays out of the SHOWERHEAD. this is completely shocking and spooky and not cliche.
>what do you do?

[cahooted]

SCREAM in a very manly and absolutely not clichéd way. Dearly miss SPOOKY DANNY DEVITO and his EGG.

Pull open the WINDOW and spray chainsaw guy with the BLOOD from the SHOWERHEAD because let's face it, that's just what panic does to you.

[maskintape]

you open the window. it sticks a little but CHAINSAW GUY helps you out with his CHAINSAW. it's p nice of him. unfortunately he's rewarded for his efforts with a blast of GROSS SHOWERHEAD BLOOD which kinda seems to piss him off. "WWHARGLBLARGL," he says.
he's now trying to chainsaw his way into the bathroom. maybe to give you a hug or something idk.
>what do you do?

[cahooted]

SCREAM again in a very unmanly and totally cliched way. Throw BATHROOM READING MATERIAL at him and try to slam the WINDOW shut.

Tackle the DOOR shoulder first and try to break through.

[maskintape]

you SCREAM and try to shut the window. unfortunately that involves like putting your arms near the CHAINSAW that the guy is wiggling around and he kind of saws your arms off with it.
you use your remaining strength to try and tackle the DOOR open, but you've lost so much BLOOD that you kinda just flop against it and die. you don't even have time to make a joke about being disarmed. it's p much the worst.

GAME OVER

>reload from autosave? [Y/N]

[cahooted]

Oh come on!!

Y.

[maskintape]

((grats on being first to die lol))

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: [BABY GOT BACK (FROM THE DEAD)]

you are back in the BATHROOM. the WINDOW is open. CHAINSAW GUY is sawing at the WINDOWFRAME. the DOOR is SHUT. SHOWERHEAD BLOOD coats the FLOOR and the angry masked CHAINSAW-wielding asshole. the SHOWER CURTAIN rustles in terror.
>what do you do?

[cahooted]

((shut up))

[What?! That is the WORST AUTOSAVE POINT are you kidding him right now??]

Screw off the SHOWERHEAD and hurl it at CHAINSAW GUY's head from a safe distance.

Try to tackle the DOOR open with my both arms still intact. Take the time to make tasteless PUN about being armed.

[maskintape]

you use your mighty un-sawed-off ARMS to unscrew the SHOWER HEAD and toss it at CHAINSAW GUY's head as he makes it through the WINDOW. his MASK protects him from damage, but it makes him slip on the BLOOD and he falls on his ASS. you use the time this buys you to get the DOOR open.

you give CHAINSAW GUY a smug look and say it's lucky you're ARMED. and that the shower head came in HANDY. and that you're sure there's another possible pun here but you can't quite put your FINGER on it.
SUNGLASSES fall from the air and land on your FACE. the SHOWER CURTAIN yells YEEEEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH helpfully. CHAINSAW GUY struggles to get up.
>what do you do?

[cahooted]

Hah!!

Make mental note to high-five SHOWER CURTAIN if we make it through this.

Pocket the SUNGLASSES and get the hell out of there. Slam the DOOR shut behind me and look for something to barricade it with, then run like hell.

[maskintape]

SUNGLASSES added to inventory.

you slam the DOOR shut as you exit the BATHROOM. the only things available that might make suitable BARRICADES are the TABLE and the COUCH.
the COUCH is further from the DOOR than the TABLE is, but it's also STURDIER. you HEAR a CHAINSAW being started up.
>what do you do?

[cahooted]

Use the TABLE to block the DOOR for the moment, then go for the COUCH to push it towards the DOOR as well.